Hello Everyone!!!

February 13, 2022

This past few days I wasn't here. And the reason is that, I am so busy walking all the possibilities that can help us on what situation we are right now with my siblings.

For your information I am in mourning now. My father died last February. It's like a thunderstorm to my eyes that as it light it's gone quickly like a thunderstorm. And now I am ready to share what happened that day.

February 02, 2022 (2222)

To others this number is lucky but to me and my sister it's the saddest day of our lives.

In the afternoon at around 6, I'm with my father at home and then he mentioned me that as he cough the phlegm that comes out on his mouth was blood. So he quickly told me to went to the hospital and have a checked-up. But I hesitate to go as he told me the first time. I was worried that if we go on a check up at the hospital it could be another medication for him. For your information he is already under medication in a private clinic. So I told him to let's go there first thing in the morning. And he agreed. But a minute later, he asked me again that we badly need to go to the Hospital because the blood that comes out on his mouth are getting more already.

So I told my boyfriend to prepare because we will go to the hospital. We ride the motorcycle of my boyfriend. And while we are on our way to the Hospital my father is kept on throwing his saliva and I told him to stop it and then I saw at his back that his already struggling in breathing. So I asked him if he is starting to lose breath and he said yes. So I told him to hang on because were almost at the hospital. And so he did.

[SOURCE OF IMAGE:](https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/hospital)

As we arrived at the hospital my father get down on the motorcycle quickly and seat on a couch there. I left him for a second because I went to the emergency room to call the Doctor or nurse, but no one is there. And then I saw my father really struggling. Thankfully there's this utility boy who saw my father that my father badly need an oxygen. He prepare the oxygen and call my father to transfer on the other couch were the oxygen is closed to it. But my father didn't hear the utility man, so I called him to transfer because he really need an oxygen. So he went to the couch were I am standing. And I put the oxygen on his nose quickly.I told him to breath in and breath out deeply. And on his third time of breathing out, he didn't breath in again. And as I saw him his not breathing already. So I shouted my boyfriend to get the doctor quickly because my father is not breathing already. And there my boyfriend shouted as much as he can and so enough the Doctor and nurses can heard us.

That was the time the Doctor and Nurses helped us to let my father revived. He was revived but his pulse rate is not increasing. The nurses told me that the higher the pulse rate much better. And then the Doctor begun to speak. He told me frankly that my father is in a bad situation. He needs to be put on ICU and out those machine that can help him breath to that hose that will be put on his mouth. And the problem is that, here in our town we don't have that machine. We need to be transferred in the City of Tacloban were the Provincial Hospital is located. The other problem is that if were going to be transferred there we are on the waiting list because all the ICU's are full because of the situation we are right now (COVID-19). And if we go to the Private Hospital they will not accept us because we don't have a swab test yet.

Honestly I don't know what to do anymore. We don't have a money, but I will do my best to have one just to have my father survived. So I bravely asked the doctor before I decide. If ever my father put in ICU and have this machine, could he survived? the Doctor replied; it's USELESS. So how can I decide if I have this kind of answer.

[SOURCE OF IMAGE:](https://the-useless-wiki.fandom.com/wiki/Definition_of_useless)

And to fast forward, I think my father help me to decide. Because I really don't know what to do. Maybe while me and the doctor talk about this thing my father is just listening. I know he can hear us. He can't just talk but his brain is still functioning. Since it's useless even if we will to survived him, he decided to let go. And the rest is history. I can't accept the fact that he is not with us already. I need to be strong for my sister and just accept and moved on. Maybe this is what my father wanted to.

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DENOUEMENT:

That's all I can share. I can't helped it already. My tears is falling already. I don't want to remember what happened. All I want is just the happy memories that we've shared the moment that he is still with us. I know my father will always there for us. He will always guide us and point us in a right direction.

[SOURCE OF LEAD IMAGE:](https://everydaypower.com/quotes-about-losing-a-loved-one/)

Truly yours,

@flordecar26