“Some Opportunities I Wasted”

August 13, 2021

Friday

Hey there folks!

It's been a while since my last publish, well, it's just a matter of “busyness” at home and some other health reasons too. But let's not talk about that, instead, I wanna share with you some moments that became plain memories of mine today. Then, I realized the opportunities wasted because of how I use my time.

I always say that time is very precious but I am one of those crazy gals who had wasted a lot of time and opportunities in my 25 years of existence in this world.

Opportunities, oh, how I miss it! I miss being offered opportunities again. I know, just like me, most of us have been into a 50/50 situation in life. Well, it's not about a “life and death” situation but it is more choosing that has a huge impact on our lives, in short, life-changing choices.

At a young age, I already wasted a lot of opportunities, and I just recognized them when I turned into an adult already.

• I was invited to sing at a wedding.

When I was a kid, my family loves to sing and in our free time, we always spend some time singing in the video. I grew up recognizing that I can sing. Though I don't have a golden voice, some people recognize my singing as calm and angelic.

At first, I don't know if people were serious about it, or was it a compliment or just another lie just to make me happy. But one day, my auntie called me and asked me to go to their house, when I reached there, she immediately asked me to sing for her friend's wedding.

I was nine years old at that time and to be honest, I am not confident with my voice and with myself. I'm lacking self-confidence during my childhood, so as expected I refused the offer and I saw how disappointed my auntie was with me. You know, when I heard her said that I was invited as a singer, I was so happy, but my insecurities hinder me. I was eaten by my negative thoughts resulting in letting an opportunity slip.

• I was offered to study and live abroad.

As one with a good performance at school, I was once offered to study and live in the US by my grandfather. He's a US citizen already and they're living in the United States for good. I was turning the first year of high school at that time when he suddenly showed up in our house telling my father about his plans before going back to the US. My grandfather is the older brother of my father's father (did you get it?). 😅

But as soon as my father told me about it, I suddenly feel uncomfortable. I couldn't imagine living far away from home and my family. So I told my father to reject it. I was so immature at that time and don't have any idea how “Great” that opportunity was. And whenever I think of it today, I sometimes ask myself, why did I let it slip away so easily? I even question myself, what if I accepted the offer of my grandfather? What kind of life would I'd be enjoying today? But those will always remain as questions left unanswered.

• I was once invited to compete in a poster-making contest.

I love art and I love to draw, I don't know how or when I started to do it, but I love to do some artwork on a sheet. That was the talent I had and almost forgot nowadays. But once in my life, I was invited and chosen by the class to compete in a school competition. The theme was so easy, it was during the nutrition month, I was a first-year of high school at that moment and the freshmen don't have any participants for the contest. Then, a classmate of mine suggested me to our teacher. He taught me a few shading tricks way back in high school and he's been my classmate since elementary days.

I refused and told them I don't have any materials, but my classmate who recommended me insisted that he will buy me everything needed for the contest. I was excited deep inside but I was eaten by fear once again. I decline them until they got tired of persuading me. I know my classmates were very disappointed in me. But then contests or any competitions are not my forte.

• I was on the candidate list running for Cum Laude

Way back in my college days, I was just an ordinary student of our campus. As always, I am a bit silent but I do have friends, real friends that I consider as one until now. I am not active in participating in class discussions because I don't feel to do it since elementary days. I don't want to be appreciated in front of my classmates too, it's just, I'm not comfortable with it. But in every awarding of our batch, I was always on the list of honorable mentions. I was also listed as a proficiency awardee in the whole School of Business and Management in my first and second years of schooling.

But then I let chances slide again. Our school is offering laderrized courses, meaning we can graduate if we finished 2 years in college. I was a second-year college at that time and I am planning to continue until I reach a four-year degree. But my father was a bit hesitant, I was a Hotel and Restaurant services technology student and we have a bit expensive tuition and other fees compared to other school departments. Also, if I turned to 4th-year college I need to choose where to do my On the job trainee between Singapore and Boracay Island, so the first thing that entered my father's mind was the expenses. After hearing hesitations from him, I backed out, I lose my will to proceed. I was determined with my decision and my father don't even stop me. Then it was graduation when my Professor talked with my father about me being on the list for candidates running for Cum laude.

I wasn't expecting it but my decisions couldn't be reversed. I know that even my father regrets about it but what can I do now? Being a top student or not, as long as I have a diploma to show everyone, I just realize later in life, that I let another incredible chance fall. I wasn't thinking at all, and I let my immaturity win over me.

• I was proposed a decent job in a newly opened hotel.

After graduation, I immediately looked for a job, I applied to different agencies, passed my resumes on numerous job openings. But as a college graduate without a diploma, it was truly a hard time getting decent work. I tried my luck and passed my resume to some hotels I knew were hiring.

Then one day, I was called for an interview in a restaurant, fortunately, it became my first ever job experience. I was already working for almost a month when a landline number was calling on my phone. I took the call and I'm surprised to know it came from one of the hotels I passed my resume to. They offered me to be a front desk officer but I was uncertain to say yes. I told them the truth that I already got hired but they offered me better benefits. To tell you honestly, I have wanted to work in a hotel since it's very related to my course, but then I feel the guilt inside of me when I think about the first company that accepted me.

Besides, I became closer with my co-workers already and I am happy with the job I had so I rejected the offer once again. After the rejection I did, I felt no regrets since I still have my first job with new friends.

• I was offered to be a regular (permanent) employee.

Since I had my first job as a dining staff last 2014, contractual jobs were fleeing in the town. I was also a contractual employee for 6 months. When I was about to end, my contract was extended by my managers for having a nice personality and performance (according to them). I am happy to serve more weeks in the resto but one day in my duty, our manager talked to me about promoting me into a regular employee. Before, as a newly hired worker, I hoped to be chosen as a regular employee before my contract ends. But I had a change of mind when I heard that our branch will be closed any time soon. So, I told my manager that I was very grateful and appreciative of his offer but I'd like to rest and will try to gain experience in another field of work.

He accepted my rejection and on the day of my end of the contact, they held a small but unforgettable farewell party for me.

Those I mentioned were some of the opportunities or chances I let slip in my palm years ago. If I would total or add up all of the opportunities I wasted probably I can't write them all in one place. Those opportunities left in me some questions of what-ifs or why did, but then those were just part of my past.

And if I would be given a chance to go back on those times, I won't. 

I don't like the idea because, despite my poor choices and weak point of views before, I am still happy of who I am today. Also heading back from the past is a risky choice for me, in addition it's simply impossible. I don't want to give myself false hopes so let's just stick to the reality.

It just tells me that I was completely immature at that time and I have no proper goals set in life. I was pointless at some point, recognizing too late about the great opportunities were already knocking on my door but I chose to knock them down.

But then I have learned lessons and that matter most, opportunities are made for us to recognize how strong or weak our decision-making is. Just like I said, some opportunities could change our lives in a snap, but it still depends on us. It depends on how we handle them, and how we deal with life.

Missed opportunities are completely normal, we were born to made missteps but as long as we're comfortable with where we are today and happy in what we are doing there is no room for regrets and remorses.

Just next time, think twice or a hundred times if needed before letting an opportunity go. That's what I learned from my younger self years ago. 😄

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀

Lead Image: Unsplash