I forgive you, but now it's every man for himself.

After these days of recollection and prayer during Holy Week, I have been thinking a lot about the word "Forgiveness". But I have come to the conclusion that forgiveness does not necessarily have to be linked to reconciliation. To forgive is to recover the lost peace, to remember without pain, to recover the happiness that for X event had been lost; on the other hand, reconciliation is about reestablishing a relationship.

Sometimes you can have both, that is, I forgive you and I reconcile, but not always this rule must be fulfilled, instead you choose to continue your life but without anger, hatred or bitterness.

I forgive you, but now it's every man for himself, this is the topic I want to discuss today. If we are living a life next to toxic people, bitter, with psychological problems, it is best to forgive them but for our health it is best to move away completely from what hurts us.

There are people who, no matter how hard they try, are not willing to change, they do nothing for the other person and this usually happens in relationships of couples, co-workers or even in relationships between siblings of the same blood.

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

It is NOT enough to say that I want to change, because words are carried away by the wind, for there to be a real reconciliation there must be actions, commitment, constant manifestations of change; this is how trust is progressively recovered and it may be that in the near future you can meet again and truly reconcile.

If I want to be happy I must demand my rights and enforce them; from the very creation I have been conceived to be happy and I must not allow someone else to hurt me. To pretend to reconcile with someone is to open a door to failure, to suffering. To forgive is to be free and that does not have to make me feel selfish, to want to be free of these people who hurt us is to want to move forward and build a full world, full of possibilities.

If someone hurts us do not seek revenge, do not seek to fight, shout, accuse or say hurtful things believing that this will make you feel better. When someone hurts me you know what my greatest revenge is "Silence" yes friends, this tool has given me more pleasure than any other in the world. It may sound ugly, but I prefer to leave the other person with the desire to hear me fight, to see me angry; first of all I think that none of that pleases God and secondly it does not please me as a person.

On the other hand, with silence I get better results, because I do not give the pleasure to anyone who wants to hurt me, to see me sad, to see me crying. They say that time heals everything and if I keep silent I leave open a lot of possibilities for reconciliation and forgiveness.

5 Blessed are the meek, for they shall receive the earth as their inheritance. 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

I know that many of you will take this attitude badly, but I prefer not to say anything rather than offend and say words that I may later regret. Some time ago I went to mass and the priest was talking to us about the law of talion "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth" and he told us that it is good to forgive but not to forget and you may wonder why? He told us that we should forgive but we should not forget, because if we forget we run the risk of repeating the experience again.

I want to give you an example: If you had a business with someone and that someone stole from you, cheated you, told lies and caused you harm, well, I forgive you but I will never do business with you again. We can be in the same place, talk to each other and even share a drink, but the other thing, no way. We can take the same thing to family and friend relationships.

To end my writing today I would like to tell you that there are relationships in which one can resume dialogue and share with that person who hurt us, if he/she needs a favor or help we can give it, but without starting again an affective relationship and without feeling bad about that decision.

Sometimes these distances have to be taken because they help a lot and heal the wounds and help you move forward and be happy.

But be careful, I must clarify again this point, we must always forgive!

We must not leave aside to always ask in our prayers for those people, ask the God of Life that they do well and that they get the peace they need so much, but far from me.