It's been a long time when this one happened. It is not because I don't want to talk about it but I just let myself move forward and stop thinking about it and now here I am writing to say what I really wanted to say for you. Hey, I admire you and I really do.
I never really thought that I will be admiring a Cassanova. But he looks so neat! he is so kind and sweet. He can smile genuinely at me, he can share some secrets with me but I am just a friend who always does his homework when he is trying to flirt with the girl he likes.
The thing is I met him in a corner of the wall, I was running for my life and praying not to be late for the afternoon class. It was hard because I don't want to be the center of attention. I let my rubber bands fell then it swayed my hair following the direction of the wind. It was like a moment in the shampoo commercial waving like I don't care at all. I am so in love with my long and shiny hair not until I found him. Unfortunately, I bumped myself into someone - the boy who smiled at me and believe me or not, I smiled back in a cute way of course. I am wearing my eyeglasses and no it's just a reading glass looking like a nerd one holding my books.
After I smiled back, I continue running and I wish I can run away like that again.
We became friends and I don't know-how. Maybe it's because his section is just near to mine, he is also one of the friends of my classmate - the reason why I was able to know him more.
He's playful for sure. He had this look that is so admirable. I admire how neat he is! He is humorous, kind and gentle to me but not to his girls! like every month he has a new one haha and I never really who they are. I am helping him with his assignments and he lured me using my favorite food (believe me, he knows what is my weakness and that is food!)
But then again, he got a serious relationship. We stop talking to each other and we became strangers again.
Two years passed and I never had anyone in my mind. I didn't entertain someone to my heart, I closed it for everyone and focused on my academics. The unexpected moment when we became classmates. I was shocked but I pretended that you are just a stranger to me. Little by little, we became friends again. Not just two of us be we are in the same squad. You know I admire you but you admire my friend, you don't want me to ignore you too. Like hey, it really hurts me and you know that.
My friend rejected you, not because she knows that I have a feeling for you but she like who's the most handsome in the group but you are the only man that I can see at that moment.
I confessed as nothing happened. You treat me the way we were before. You showed your sweetest smile again then you hug me when I cried. Hey, I admire you and I really do.
We shared an umbrella when it rains, he holds my hands and runs away until the unexpected moment came, you ask me if it is okay to court me. Like damn I've been waiting for this. Of course, I said yes you can but I wanted to be top in our class and said if he can wait for a long time. He said he is willing with his sincere sweet smile.
That time we had a mutual understanding. He was there beside me playing with my hair while I'm reading a book. He was there not until he asked me if when he will get my YES. I remained quiet. I am not ready. I am just a kid. I ignore his gaze and walk away.
We never talked about that misunderstanding then after a month, I got to know that he is courting that girl again (the girl that he had a serious relationship with) there is a rumour that they still love each other. That girl is smarter than me. That girl looks prettier than me, that girl can smile better than me. That girl gets his attention again). I hate comparing but I did anyway.
Fast forward. You are still a Cassanova, you got a new girlfriend. And I am still single. I never had one anyway. We talk sometimes but it's just a formal one.
Four years passed and you're still the one. I had some crush before but you're the best.. Hey, I still admire you and I really do.
College life is been good for us. We matured enough and we still treasure our friendship. I don't want to be in a relationship with you as my boyfriend but I wanted you to be part of my life like the way we used to be. The ROTC program made us closer to each other again. You are not a Cassanova anymore. I can see that you are growing like a man na.
I smiled sincerely and you did it too. We had a last talk to fix the misunderstanding and I found out that you never courted her when you are courting me. You gave the explanation that I wanted but it's too late. I moved on and I don't have that feeling anymore.
I am happy and rooting for you. I wish you success and I hope the girl you are in a relationship with now will be your last. I can see that smile of yours when you look at her, the same smile you are giving to me before..
Hey, in the end, I just want you to know that I admire you and I really do.
Author's note:
June 16, 2021
Article #62
I got inspired to write this after reading the article of my ate @Meyzee''
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I thought you're single sed me 😂