I feel worthless, I'm so sorry about it

Self-worth and Self-Esteem

Self-worth is a belief about how much we value ourselves and is very closely related to self-esteem. Because self-esteem is the reflection of how we see ourselves, how we perceive and how we evaluate ourselves. So, if you are feeling worthless internally, simply improving your self-esteem will not be enough.

feeling worthless

The opposite of self-worth is worthlessness. Situations such as job loss, divorce or financial difficulties can quickly lead to a person's depression. Those who experience adversity like these one after another are likely to feel worthless and question whether their life has any meaning.

The person who feels worthless tends to view all of life negatively and may have trouble finding any positive aspects. Therefore, they may believe that there is no chance of recovery. This is a distorted perceptual state and is likely to result from underlying conditions such as depression, anxiety, stress, grief, loss, and bereavement.

We can all feel worthless at some point in our lives. On the other hand, the longer a person is exposed to feelings of worthlessness, the more difficult it may be for them to overcome this feeling on their own without help.

Causes and consequences of feelings of worthlessness

You can overcome the feeling of worthlessness. However, for this, it is important to know where it originates first. A realistic look at your thoughts, feelings, and emotions can reveal the root cause. To help you with this, here are some situations that may make you feel worthless

Mental Health

Feeling worthless is mainly associated with depression. However, these feelings can also be seen as symptoms in schizophrenia, anxiety, or certain personality disorders.

A strong sense of worthlessness in children may indicate peer conflicts, neglect or abuse and should be taken seriously.

Feelings of worthlessness may also be associated with other emotions such as hopelessness, guilt, persistent sadness or loss of motivation. Many depressive disorders cause people to feel lonely and seek help and social interaction seem pointless. The problem is, it's a vicious circle. These feelings often lead to increased depression.

In summary, people suffering from depression and neglected/exploited as adults often carry a sense of worthlessness. On the other hand, on the contrary, feelings of worthlessness can lead to depression and vulnerability to neglect/abuse.

Unworthiness can manifest itself in different ways:

Severe and dull aches in the body,

Negative thoughts about yourself

Crying too often, despair

social anxiety

Loss of purpose in life, decreased interest in life,

Like suicidal thoughts.

A person who feels worthless:

May stay away from relationships

May use alcohol, cigarettes or drugs,

There may be a decrease in emotional expression,

May constantly express negative thoughts,

May feel drowsy and sleepy all the time

May ignore personal diary care. (Showering, eating, washing clothes, etc.)

If the person is experiencing these symptoms for more than two weeks, it is recommended to seek help from a therapist as they may be an indication of clinical depression or a related condition.

If the person who feels worthless is in depression and does not seek the necessary help, this feeling may lead to suicide. A study by researchers at Seoul National University concluded that feelings of worthlessness, which causes depression, are strongly associated with lifetime suicide attempts. If worthlessness triggers suicidal thoughts or causes another immediate crisis, it is best to contact a crisis helpline immediately or seek help from a therapist.

If you are physically unhealthy, you are likely to feel worthless. For example, if you have lost the integrity of your physical health, such as not being able to walk, eat certain foods, or do certain activities, this can directly play a role in your feeling of worthlessness.

On the other hand, the feeling of worthlessness can cause a negative mood as well as negatively affect physical health. This is because people who feel worthless are more likely to not protect their health, refuse health services, and engage in behaviors that negatively affect their health, such as smoking, alcohol, drug use, etc.

If at some point in your life and/or right now, you are around people who criticize you excessively, compare you to others, or do this to yourself, your beliefs about your own worth may quickly decline.

From childhood, we begin to form our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about who we are, ourselves, and the world. Most of the time, we form our own thoughts, beliefs and emotional patterns that we have acquired by being influenced by the feelings, thoughts and judgments reflected on us from others. At this stage, if you've formed a harsh and extremely negative self-concept towards yourself, it probably isn't serving you well when you're going after what you want out of life. This “negative self” can cause you to fall into the trap of comparing your perspectives, appearance, personality and/or mind to other people.

Remember that as long as you compare yourself to others and feel negative in those comparisons, you will feel worthless. In order to deal with these feelings, it is important to understand that the perfection you can see in others is not real. Beneath the attractive features that you think you don't have, there are always flaws. Everyone has their own doubts and flaws. Just like you... As you get older, as your experience increases and the wisdom and strength of your character come back, you can gain more realistic perspectives on others and their lives, thereby easing the feeling of worthlessness.
At different stages of our lives, we take on a variety of roles. In our private life, children, partners, spouses, parents, friends, etc. We have roles. In addition, we acquire roles at certain levels and levels in our business life. When one or more of these roles is unexpectedly shaken, we are likely to begin to feel worthless.

E.g; When we get divorced, we are no longer a 'wife'. It is a common mistake to self-destructively form perspective on a situation when this role is lost. Ask yourself “Why did he leave me?” “What did I not do well enough?” “Why did my marriage fail?”. Now that I am no longer a wife, who am I? Questions like these and similar self-blaming questions can have a huge negative impact on your self-worth.

While a loss of role is not something that can cause us to lose our self-worth, it can be a heavy blow. On the other hand, if there is more than one loss of roles that may overlap, it will significantly damage our self-worth.

To recover from these negative role losses with minimal harm, it is important to remember, understand and acknowledge who you are outside of all your roles. Note that this role does not define “you” and your being. You existed and were valuable before any role, and you will exist and will be valuable after this. Actually you are you. Your existence and worth are not dependent on your family or social status.

If you have faced a lot of criticism early in your life, sometimes a feeling of worthlessness comes from those past criticisms. Over the years, it can build up, accumulate, become natural, and turn into a self-esteem and self-worth problem that is difficult to heal.

In fact, you may become as critical of yourself as the criticism you are exposed to, and you may be trapped in a vicious circle of negativity in which you criticize others as much as you criticize yourself.

In fact, instead of realizing that everyone makes mistakes and owning your problems, you may lie about your problems, belittle them, or cover up your mistakes because you are afraid of criticism from the society or your close circle. However, this approach will not contribute to your self-worth and will make you feel even more worthless because of your lies.In any part of your life, if you have encountered too many negative situations and/or people, you may be inclined to think that everything will always go negative and wrong. For this reason, you may start to see life as worthless, to think that it is pointless to try to do better.

The thing is, life isn't always bad and negative. It doesn't always work this way. So, drowning in negativity should be avoided at all costs. Adopting a negative perspective and attitude towards life and people will also negatively affect your self-esteem and self-worth.

It is important to look at the positive aspects of life, experiences and people, to give positive reactions and to take optimistic actions. This positive attitude will not only cause positive chemicals to circulate in your body, but will also increase your self-esteem and self-worth as you choose a positive posture instead of being negative in difficult times.
If you are struggling with self-worth issues in any part of your life, you are not alone. People can develop discouraging thoughts about themselves for a variety of reasons.

You may feel worthless right now, but with some support, you can improve your self-worth and feel better. In fact, with enough practice, you can transform feelings of worthlessness into new positive and productive feelings.
Ways to increase Self-Esteem

Valuing yourself means you believe you are important and can make a difference, and you treat yourself with value. There are several ways to increase your own intrinsic worth. Some examples;

help others

Start by making a contribution to society. Seeing and feeling that you are making a difference when you volunteer to benefit society will improve your mood and increase your self-worth.

be grateful

You should be grateful to the people who already exist, who you value and who value you, your positive and strengths, the aspects you are developing, your achievements, your experiences and experiences, your potential… that is, everyone and everything that is positive in your life and appreciate yourself. Exercise: Every day, find five things to be grateful for and list them down. After a while, you won't believe the length of the list.