Independent

Most of you would probably know by now that I am still dependent on my parents. I'm not that young but my parents are already old yet here I am still not doing anything to give back to them. I know they are frustrated with how my life turned out to be but they are still thankful that they have me because I am taking care of them maybe not financially but the care like fixing meals sometimes or caring for them when they were sick. But how would you think my life would be if I had been independent by the age of 18? 

Correct me if I am wrong but I think in some countries I know that they require their children to live on their own when they turned 18. How about you? How old are you? Are you still dependent on your parents? Or you are living with your parents but you are already financially independent or the bread winner of the family? 

I am actually the youngest and I started working first than my brother because he was still taking up law. Like I have said before, my salary was for my own. I wasn't obligated to contribute with our living expenses. Then comes the time that my brother started working while he was waiting for the results of his bar exams. He also didn't contribute with the expenses because he was saving his salary for his wedding. Wedding? Yes! He was already planning to marry his girlfriend if he will pass the bar. I just don't know what his plans were if he didn't. The money he saved wasn't that enough so of course he asked our dad for the wedding expenses. I saw the look on my dad's face when he found out my brother's plans of getting married. He was actually waiting for my brother to help him with our living expenses yet it turned out that my brother has already made plans on his own. I couldn't blame my brother since he has been with his girlfriend for a decade. How did I know about my dad's frustrations over my brother? He said it to me and I somehow felt guilty because I was the first one who started working yet I never ever gave them anything in return. 

There was a year when my dad really asked me and my brother to help him with the expenses around the house. Take note: my brother wasn't living with us anymore and he didn't complain and gave his contribution every month. Because my salary isn't that big, I told my parents that I can only pay for the bill that I can only afford. When I resigned, automatically my contribution stopped. Just like with the payment of my laptop to my dad. LOL. However, my brother also stopped giving his contributions. Probably he thinks that it is unfair for him because I was unemployed and his not even living here so why contribute. You can include the fact that he was also saving because they were having a baby. Each passing year, we all felt the increase in everything. My dad was already complaining that he got no one to help him. He was already pitying himself and he can't help but to be envious of other children who gives support to their parents or the people his age who are now relaxing and enjoying their time yet here he is still struggling to look for money. I saw all that with his expressions and that is why I changed my habit of spending. Even if I didn't have any physical job, I was actually trying to look for money on my own so that I wouldn't have to ask money from him so that I can pay my own bills. As much as I want to cancel my postpaid line or my credit cards, I can't. I chose my own postpaid number and my cards are for emergency purposes as it may come in handy someday. 

I think if I have been independent when I was 18, I would either be a junkie or a homeless by now. Or maybe I would have been more matured and established. No one knows what the outcome would be if we have been independent by 18 but I know that having no money and working hard to earn would make a difference. It is only when we experience being broke, no one to help us and have experienced the hardships in life that we became conscious over our spendings and would know about the importance of money. Remember my story about Viktor and Frank? Viktor was around 24 and Frank was around 20 when they lost their parents but it was Frank who became more mature and thought of his future. He didn't want to be dependent on his relatives that's why he made sure that after he graduated, he would get a job here in the Philippines before he would pursue working overseas. During his younger years, working abroad was never part of his plan. I know he just wanted to be with his girlfriend that time but everything changed after losing both his parents. He didn't want to be a burden to anyone that's why he made sure that he'll finish his studies so that he can get a job and save money. I'm not sure if I said it in my article but after saving money, Frank had already bought a house and lot. You can see the difference of both brothers. But then again, I think it still depends on the attitude and behavior of a person if he or she would want to be successful in life. 

I hope that we can learn to live alone and independently. May we not be independent on our parents, relatives, partners or friends. I have always been in my comfort zone but there are moments that I have been alone. It was when I shut myself down to everyone or to the world. But it was a different kind of alone. I hope get to live a life that we don't have to validate our reasons and decisions to anyone, a life that we can bravely stand in our own two feet and face the world and a lastly a life where we are already debt free and financially stable. 

P.S. I can't think of a picture for my lead image that's why I chose my 18th birthday invitation card made by me.