Have you ever hurt someone? Did you apologize for it? Or have you hurt someone and you just suddenly patch things up without saying sorry? Are you the type of person who says sorry easily or the one that makes you choke up before you can say that word? I am actually in the middle. Even if it is easy for me to apologize, I am sincere with it. There are just some instances when it was really hard for me to say that word especially if I really did made a very big offense or if I wronged my parents. I think I seldom apologuze to them for all the bad things that I have done and for talking back to them. Probably because we were never really vocal to each other about our deepest feelings.
Can you think of that moment when you last said sorry or asked someone for forgiveness? I can actually think of one thing and that is kind of a little too personal and private and I would just want to keep it to myself. I did say sorry but the damage had already been done. I did something that I did not know that it would be big of a deal for her. Until now I know she has not yet forgiven me and I can feel it. I celebrated my birthday last year and I did not hear from her. I messaged her on her birthday, Christmas and New Year but still no reply. I already said that I was sorry when she lashed out on me. Should I still apologize when greeting her during special ocassions? Do I have to remind her of that moment over and over? I believe that what I did is not that big of an issue and it was to shallow for her to be reacting this way. For the first time after more than 12 months, she texted me on my birthday this year. A simple "happy happy birthday (with a cake emoji)". A short birthday greeting that she never ever did even before because she usually have this long greeting for me during my birthdays. Probably because I also just sent a short birthday greeting for her last year. Well what was I suppose to say?
Elton John was right when he said that "sorry seems to be the hardest word". Do you believe in that as well? How many times does a person needs to say sorry for something? There was a movie that I have (though I forgot the title. LOL) watched a few days ago where the female lead kept on apologizing the entire day. I know that we can feel whether an apology is sincere or not but do we have to repeat it over and over again?
I feel uneasy when someone is mad at me whether or not I apologized for something that I did. I suddenly remembered the time when I apologized to my past flirtationship when he got mad at me because he thought that I was cheating on him. I apologized for all that happened that time. I cannot remember how many times I apologized and asked for forgiveness but nothing happened. We never reconciled after. But with the thing about apologies, up to when are we going to say sorry to someone? With the one that I have mentioned about something personal and private, things between us are still not the same as to how we were before. Should I just wait for the time that she would talk to me like how she used to or should I message her again and apologize? Honestly, I may not have tried my best to really ask for her forgiveness because after I have apologized numerous times, just like my past flirtationship, I never got a response. You may say that I am paranoid or overthinking too much but I know her and I knoe when she's pissed. She is also like me who would not want to talk when she's mad and can even take awhile before she forgives someone. Our fight is all I think about and I hope and pray that she can find it in her heart to forgive me and that I really did not meabln to harm her or put her into trouble for what I did. If I knew that she would be mad as hell then I should not have done it. I forgave her for the words that she had thrown at me. I also hope that this would not be a reason for our friendship to be over.
And to all of you who are reading this, I am sorry as well. I'm sorry if I have not yet read your article. I am also sorry if I have offended you without me knowing about it and I am sorry for being clueless. I just really hope that I have not offended anyonr of you here. I know it is a bit hard to apologize to someone but I hope that we get to do it. I think it is the right thing to do besides showing that you trully are sorry for what you did. Again, I apologize if there is something that I say that you did not like.
P.S. lead image is a photo of me and the person I was talking about when we both celebrated our birthday together.
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