I will choose them again

As I was about to sleep last night, I was able to think of a topic. So I drafted a few sentences for me not to forget when I wake up the following day. I have again missed another day of not publishing an article. But like I have said, it's ok. Gwaenchanh-a. We somehow pick up a few Korean words after watching a lot of Korean dramas. Speaking of which, I started watching another Korean drama after I had finished the other drama. After more than a week I finally got to finish Run On.

I have already seen a lot of scenarios like this whether in TV screens. Well most reel life situations are often inspired by real life situations right? Pretty sure you have also watched some dramas wherein some parents were having problems with their children. It's common right? There will always be a prodigal son in some families and I am one of those hence, the name, bbyblacksheep. But there are also some children that were having problems with their parents. Like parents asking for money from their children, parents who gamble, parents who are strict, parents who are alcoholic and so on. Whether it is in Filipino, Korean, Chinese, American or any other drama, there are situations like that. Like I have said, reel life situations are inspired by real life dramas.

Not all families are perfect and we all know that there is no perfect in this world that we live in. My brother and I grew up with our parents but it was our mom who disciplined us whenever the 2 of us would quarrel. We were used to our mom hitting us and of course as a fragile child, I cannot helped but to wish to have a mother who would not hit us our get angry when I made a mistake. I remember running to my dad as soon as he got home from work because I was so frightened of my mom. Of course my dad protected me. However, there was a time when I hid under the bed but my dad lifted the bed and my mom started hitting me as soon as she saw me. I thought that my dad was my protector but he let my mom know where I was hiding. Well, my mom never hit me for no reason but it was always because my brother and I were always fighting. It was her way of disciplining us. You may disagree with me but back then, it was normal. Now, I know you can report any parent/s who hit/s their children. All parents have their own way of disciplining and spoiling their child. I know it was childish of me to wish to have different parents. I even said that out loud in my mom's face which made her even more mad at me. I was so bad right? I think it was the first time that my mom slapped me. As a young child, I was never aware of the words that came out of my mind. Then my dad asked what happened between me and my mom and that is when my dad told me that what I said was wrong. But parents most especially our mothers are very forgiving. Even if my words hurt my mom, she forgave me.

That did not stop there because when I first fell in love, I also wished that my mom was someone who would allow me to date whoever I want. Rememeber that I did fell in love with a gas boybut I only told my mom that a gas boy and a guy who was working at a BPO company was courting me. Whether it was a gas boy or a call center agent, my mom disapproved both. She got so mad at me that she was forcing me to resign and cut ties with the people that I have worked with. I would get it if she dislike the gas boy but I was surprised that she also doesn't like the call center agent even when she had met him personally. During those times, I had wished that my mom was like my dad's cousin. For her, she said that it was ok who her child would end up with as long as she knows that the person will be someone who is good, God fearing, loving, caring and responsible. My dad's cousin was the one who helped me to convince my mom to take it easy on me. So during the time that my dad's cousin was staying with us, I had my freedom. But when she went back to the USA, my old mom was back. It was the reason why I rebelled against my family because of her disapproval on my love life. It was the reason I put up my wall and would lie to them. The stricter they were with me, the more I rebelled against them and the greater the lies.

There were times before that I would wonder what my life would be if I had different parents. Have you also wondered the same thing? My mom and her sisters had also wondered how their life would have been if they did not end up with their husbands. They are happy and grateful that they have found their forever but even parents cannot help but to wonder about those what ifs in life. Looking back, I really find everything so petty. I am thankful that I realized that what I did, wished and said were so wrong. A mother and/or a father will do everything and anything for their child to have a great life. They may go overboard but we should know that they only want what's best for us. I may have realized it the hard way but I must say that I am lucky that my parents are my parents. They may not have everything but they have given me everything. Even if we are to be born again, I will still choose my parents. We may not be that vocal about our feelings and we may have some issues with each other but I will still choose them over again. We may not choose our parents and our parents cannot also choose their children. But we can choose to either be the best or worst child any parent could have. I may have been the latter before but at least now I have been trying to be the best daughter that they can have. The best in giving them problems. Just kidding. Remember to always honor your parents and appreciate all of the things that they have done for you. We would not be here in this world if not for them.

May 22, 2022

P.S. lead image is a photo of me with my parents.