Shine for yourself, not for anyone else
As life keeps flowing, times change, ages change, thoughts change and evolve. As we all know, the only constant is change itself! But while all this change is going on, every day, every day, you see what you thought would never happen, and you will continue to be surprised. Of course, you will continue to be surprised until you see the point where you will be indifferent. After a point, you stop being surprised…
But there comes a time when you start to realize yourself and show a solid character, and the rotten apples around you begin to fall one by one. When you start looking at your life from a wide window, you realize that many people are starting to leave your life. All of a sudden. This is where questions begin within yourself. Am I so wrong? What could I have done to make people turn away from me? When you start to think about the reason, two main options appear before you.
Either you have hurt yourself too much without realizing the people around you. But it seems a little absurd that they suddenly go away at the same time.
Or, as if the tree that bears fruit is stoned, people who cannot add any value to you in your life and who emit low-level frequencies according to you cannot keep up with you, they start grinding.
Unfortunately, success, unconditional love, happiness and goodwill are not concepts that everyone can handle. I recently read a sentence similar to this. “You can always find a bad day friend. There is hardly anyone who will not be there for you on your bad day. But have you ever seen a friend who is really happy and smiling on your good day?” You start to see the truth of this saying more clearly in your 30s after your 20s. Who knows, maybe these issues will lose their importance in my 40s, I don't know either...
Whoever you think knows you really well, it would be much better if you embrace that thought. Because people can only understand you as much as their own thoughts. He can make sense of you from the window he looks at. When we love people, we often fall in love with our dream person. The meaning we attribute to the other person makes that person indispensable. Our life is a complete illusion.
Think of it this way, we see everything we see only through our own eyes. Let's take colors as a base... Maybe it will sound crazy, but the red I see may be green in your eyes. But the red you see through your eyes is green to me. Can we prove otherwise? I do not think so. Everything is an illusion. The soil, grass, buildings, everything we see are just three-dimensional shapes that the human brain can perceive. When I think like this, all the peaks we try to be in life become meaningless. The only thing that remains meaningful is just the "now". When I enjoy the moment, I feel that I have lived life to my bones. Feeling in balance physically, spiritually and mentally is very important to be able to shine and reveal the light within me.
While knowing that everything is an illusion destroys the meaning of life for some, it is not exactly so for me. How can I say? Besides, you are in life, but there is a feeling of comfort and freedom that comes from knowing the possibility that everything can go wrong at any moment. And knowing this feels like it takes all the weight off our shoulders. It feels more balanced.
Someone will always come and go in your life. You will stop at the same stop as some of them. You will follow the same paths. But the time will come, the paths will part. Everything is so natural and normal… After a while, you stop being surprised anyway. This creates a natural defense mechanism.
There comes an autumn time like leaf fall. You have to do a cleaning, a purification. Do not hinder the transformation. As long as you do not lose the goodwill, respect and value in you, the people who should be with you in your life will somehow manage to stay. Don't feel sorry for those who are gone. Thank them for the values they add to you and just move on with your life. No one can get in your way or upset you unless you allow it.
Whatever you express yourself, the helm is in your hands to realize yourself. Shine for yourself, not for anyone else!
With love...
Things you need to stop doing now for your own good
Although most of us think that we strive for our own well-being in all our actions, from time to time we unknowingly sabotage ourselves. Distractions that waste our time unnecessarily, toxic people that cause us to fall into pessimism, fears that try to take over us, or our procrastination habits can steal both our time and energy, preventing us from achieving greater success in our lives and realizing ourselves. It is best to leave them all at once; starting right now. Here are the things you should stop doing immediately, for your own sake:
**Let go of everything that distracts you**
Social media, gossip, environments you don't like, negative people, endless series or empty content that you don't think will add anything to you... Stay away from all the stimuli that distract you, steal your time, waste the hours you spend with the people you love, and as if you are wasting your time and money. spend carefully.
**Stay away from toxic people**
Whether it's bad friends or family members who hurt you, the best thing you can do for yourself today and in the future is to stop making time for people who negatively affect you. Spend your precious time on people who make you feel good, enjoy chatting together, participate in activities, and most importantly, do not try to undermine you behind your back and do not darken you with their negative thoughts.
Do not hold on to negative thoughts
Life is like a mirror; We get the best results when we smile. Therefore, it is useful to talk about the things we are more grateful for than our problems. Having hard times, struggling with something, getting stuck in obstacles does not mean failure. There can be beauty out of a painting that looks bad; maybe today maybe tomorrow. So fill your mind with good thoughts instead of wasting time struggling in the whirlpool of negative thoughts.
Avoid unnecessary 'drama'
Being alert enough to get away from the 'dramas' around you can save you both time and energy. Let's define what we mean by dramas: The extreme and possibly ridiculous reactions of people around you to different situations. In other words, if there is someone who cannot cope with the situations you encounter at work or in your circle of friends, and instead drags both themselves and you into negativities with great reactions, it would be beneficial for you to take a few steps back...
By drama we mean excessive and unnecessary reactions that make fleas a camel.
**Don't try to be busy all the time**
The plague of our time may be the never-ending preoccupation. Although for most people, being busy all the time makes you feel valuable, hardworking, and busy, this is not a good situation when viewed from a broad perspective. You don't always have to be busy with something. Create time for yourself to rest, renew, breathe, recharge; not to be more busy.
**Don't focus on what you don't have**
Undoubtedly, many of us want and work for more than what we have; maybe new clothes, maybe a house, maybe a car or a new job… But sometimes our desire for what we don't have can suppress the feeling of being grateful for what we have, which can lead us to unhappiness. First of all, we need to know the value of what we have.
**Don't compare yourself to anyone**
Focusing on what other people have, keeping track of what they are going through and what works they are doing, will do nothing but put obstacles in your way. Life is your only concern with your life and what you do, what you will do; just as what others do is only their concern. You can use the time you spend comparing yourself to other people to move forward more confidently on your own path; the choice is yours.
**Don't get stuck in the past**
One of the best steps you can take for both your life and your relationships is to leave the past in the past. By choosing to forgive yourself and others instead of feeling guilty and angry about something in the past, you can focus on your tomorrows where you can still do something, instead of the past you can't change today. You are not the same today as you were a year, a month, or even a day ago; life flows, experiences continue, let go of the past.
**Don't be afraid of your mistakes**
Have you ever known a person who achieved great success without making any mistakes? Errors are the most important building blocks of development, growth and progress, that is, they are indispensable. Recognize your mistakes and learn from them, of course; but don't get stuck. Do not obscure all your thoughts because you have made a mistake, and most importantly, do not give up. Instead of regretting and regretting your mistakes, see them as an opportunity to move forward more confidently and move on.
**Don't try to please everyone**
One of the most liberating things we've learned in life is that we don't have to love everyone, and not everyone has to love us. Both are perfectly normal. There is room for disappointments as well as great happiness in life; they are all part of our life. Trying to impress and please everyone does nothing but steal your energy and time. Someone may be disappointed, you are not in a position to make everyone happy.
**Don't be afraid to say 'no'**
Think about it, how many times in your life have you been to events that you had to attend because you couldn't say no, even though you actually wanted to go? Or did you fall behind on your own work while helping a friend not to break their request? If you can think of a lot of scenarios, it's time to learn to say 'no'.
**Don't be a prisoner of fear**
Fear is an illusory emotion, not actually real. When you dare to change, you can get one step closer to achieving whatever seems impossible to you. Don't let your fears take over you. Instead of magnifying them in your eyes and in your mind, go over your fears, take action; show that you are bigger.
**Forgive the mistakes of others**
Tolerance can both help you in your bilateral relations and prevent you from worrying about unnecessary thoughts. Ignore the mistakes and mistakes of others. Sometimes everyone can make wrong choices and grapple with mistakes; This does not mean that anyone is inherently bad. Therefore, it is not anyone's job to interpret or criticize it.
Being “me” as a whole: We can be aware of and accept our every state
We are all made up of different parts coming together. Our arms, legs and organs combine to make us a human being. A wardrobe emerges with a combination of drawers, shelves and doors. A computer becomes a computer with the combination of many parts such as graphics card, operating system, keyboard. So many things are actually the sum of the parts.
According to the holistic point of view, the whole is formed by the parts that make up it work together and in cooperation with each other. According to Perls, understanding human is only possible by seeing him as a whole. For this reason, when talking about human health, bodily, emotional and mental experiences cannot be separated from each other, and a change in one of them affects the others, and therefore the whole organism is affected. For example, if we had a very stressful day, we had a headache, when we worked for long hours in a job that would tire our minds, our movement decreased, or when a depressed person wanted to lie down all day, the organism is affected by each other. For this reason, it is desirable to keep the emotional state of people with chronic diseases such as diabetes and blood pressure as balanced as possible.
This holistic approach dominates almost every aspect of our lives. In particular, we do not perceive objects independently of each other. When we see forks, knives and plates, we perceive that there is a meal preparation. When we see a half-drawn picture, we try to guess what it is by completing the missing part in our minds. Or sometimes when we see a piece on the floor at home, we think about where it might belong. Because people tend to complete what is missing.
This happens very automatically and quickly in our minds. Wondering the whole picture, completing the half, finding the missing parts, that is, "being whole" comes from a holistic point of view.
In Gestalt Therapy, which is a psychotherapy approach, integration and especially incomplete works are mentioned together with the holistic approach. According to this approach, if a person does not get enough satisfaction from his needs, it remains incomplete and cannot be completed.
As the number of unfinished jobs increases, people begin to feel tense, tired and exhausted. Conflicts with people we care about can cause feelings such as sadness, resentment, guilt, hatred, grudge, shame. The need that needs to be met in such situations is the expression, sharing and conflict resolution of these feelings.
It is known that if we do not complete these unfinished works, it may cause us to experience the same conflicts again and again as soon as possible. Therefore, this situation will affect our focus on new experiences and also our body. For example, if we did not sleep at night, we may feel nervous the next day and reflect this situation to those around us. We may not be able to focus on people who are telling us something when we are too stuck on a subject and thinking about it all the time. In such cases, it is necessary to think about our unfulfilled need, to realize it, to see how we try to meet it, and to integrate it with our experiences. Only when this integration is achieved can we focus on our new needs and/or find different ways to meet them.
Another advantage of the holistic perspective is that it keeps us in balance. Suppose we are hanging from a tree and clinging to a single branch. When that branch breaks, we'll crash too. But connecting with other branches in the tree and holding on to other branches keeps us alive in such situations and supports us to overcome the difficulties we experience. In other words, we have many experiences, experiences, relationships, etc. in our lives. If we focus too intensely on one thing when we have it and lose that thing, it is inevitable that we will be destroyed.
Our values, characteristics, things we enjoy doing, and our relationships are all that make us who we are. When one of our castles is damaged, the others will be what sustains us to repair that castle. That's why it's very shallow to describe a person with just one thing. We are all sometimes calm, sometimes impatient, sometimes cold, sometimes talkative. We all have both positive and negative traits. So actually we all have many different characteristics. While we highlight some of our features, we put another feature in the foreground when the need provided from there is completed. We reveal the appropriate part of us according to the situations, lives and experiences we encounter.
They change, we change, they change...
I wish you days when you can see your whole and realize your many features.
It's time to unleash the potential within us by focusing on our goals
There has been so much agenda, so much confusion lately that it is quite normal for us to be confused about our destination, route and even our routine. We are human after all, we are affected, we react. Moreover, this agenda is not only the agenda of our country or our geography, but in every geography, in every culture, there are many events that occupy people in a different way.
Let alone the fact that these come to the same period in a compressed state is related to the acceleration of our evolution - because the reason is less important - its main result, namely its reflections on us, is important. Along with these events, many awareness raisings and social awareness increases. There is no minus without plus. The more pressure there is, the more relaxation there should be, that's the system. And these rises are not insignificant, my friends. In many parts of the world, resignations, actions have already begun to be taken to change the work, life and current regimes. And don't worry, we don't all need enlightenment. Because many will follow it when the system changes and gets better.
Now let's come to the part of why these things are raining on us in a zip-up condition… Because human is not a nine thousand-year-old entity that has existed since Sumer, as we are told in the world. Many of them lived before us, meteorite struck, volcano erupted, flood, and passed away. Since the awareness and spiritual level of the ancient civilizations was higher than ours, their evolution took thirty thousand years. We don't have that much time, the planet we live on is tired. As those who came after these ascended civilizations, we can focus on ascension, making ourselves and the world a better place first, and coexistence as all earthly beings in peace and tranquillity, instead of learning from the stories and epics they left and going to a social extinction - what the books call it apocalypse - . I'm not saying that focusing on it prevents extinction, because even stars are dying, but that's a scenario where at least we can spend our time here in the most beneficial way to absolute consciousness.
I know, there are so many factors, problems, inputs. Let's not forget that these are only a tiny part of our evolution, a veil of our three-dimensional illusion. The sun sets, then rises again, it rains, then the rainbow comes out. We are souls embodied as human beings in the world during this period and we are very lucky. Each of us has the power and potential to shape history. This potential can only be realized when we believe and focus and work towards achieving our goal. May your path be clear!
The power of doing nothing
What is the greatest luxury in life? That's what I'm questioning these days. Yes, unlimited financial power comes first to all of us. Many things are difficult without it. There is also something we have but cannot use very much: the luxury of being by yourself. Going a little further, doing nothing. To stay with yourself both mentally and physically, to stop. Ask when you stay with yourself. When really? Especially if you're working at 09.00-18.00 and/or in endless parental shifts... This is the real luxury. Not being able to pull the plug and create a me time is actually poverty. It is possible to list the reasons, even scientific psychological reasons.
Every day you don't invest in yourself is wasted time. It can be 5 minutes of meditation, 30 minutes of exercise, or even just a few minutes of coffee break… But with yourself. All alone. Alone. Isn't that scary? The first emotion felt was fear. Solitude is a luxury. Unfortunately for those who have never experienced it. Well, is it the same for those who add it to their daily routine?
I took time for myself as myself, as my only self. What if we started by writing "I did this today" on a page every day? Whatever… This one is for you anyway. Nobody may know. He may know. The delicacy of devoting your private time to yourself…
A mental pause, doing nothing. Look, we're not talking about phone time or TV time here. Standing still is serious work! Try!
It is a game of perception that the days pass quickly and the time is not enough. Yes, we work hard, whether we are white collar, freelance or housewives… The day is definitely not 24 hours. It is not enough. You ask why? It's harder to stop. It's scary to be alone with oneself. Silence, the absence of anyone... Not to mention paying attention to the part of the mind that is not silent... It is enough just to listen. What do you really want? Assuming that the average human lifespan is 80 years, how many more years will you have a footprint on the world? What is this rush, speed? The concept of time is also an invention from us. Two great examples of this in Greek philosophy: the concept of Kronos and Kairos.
Kronos is the god of time in Greek philosophy. When we know that we can't keep up, sometimes too slow, sometimes too fast, the quantitative one… Kairos is the god of opportunity. It represents an opportunity that moves very fast and is hard to catch when missed. It qualitatively refers to a time. The more qualified the time spent, the more colorful life actually is! The rapid flow of good time is an example of this, but happiness and productivity are at play here. What you've added to yourself… Even Einstein, if he's looking at time from the Kairos window, he must know something, right?
“I times” remaining in the moment in Kairos time make us who we are. In Kronos, days are thrown into months and months into years in the human invention process called time...
Do nothing, just stop for a few minutes, listen to yourself. Opportunities are in those moments! Catch!
How would you like to see your share of everything you complain about?
All balances are changing, the world, the economy, the real estate market, our mental state, our view of the world…
Yes, we are coming to an end, easy to say, it seems like it will be “instructional” for everyone to live. This transformation will cause many systems to collapse, both micro and macro, and many will sprout.
I am constantly listening to the variables in the economy, the rising prices, the human condition trying to adapt to it, and the people who have been removed from their homes and jobs, and those who have to move because of the houses for sale.
It is such a familiar story that we are forced to move away from the places, neighborhoods and even cities where we live, just as minorities and majorities who have been living in certain regions for generations were compelled to migrate, not so much a generation or two ago. Especially because of the changing economy and our unconnected sociological borders…
I am not judging the state or parties here, on the contrary, I think that the administration mirrors the perception and psychology of the majority. The situation is that the government is rebelling against the state, saying, "They sold everything to foreigners, they turned agricultural lands into construction lands."
Everyone is living the same pattern in the smallest system, in the largest system.
That's why, maybe we need to see that what we've been complaining about and rebelling against all this time, we have built tiny with our own hands.
If there are those who sell the homeland, it is us. While it is being sold, we hold one end.
We sell our agricultural lands, our fields, to construction companies.
We say "Arabs raided our country" and sell what we have to them.
In return, we get "money".
And tomorrow there will be money, stamps…
I'm talking about the paper that we hold in our hands and don't care what is written on it, that we give so much meaning and exchange the hours of our lives in return.
We have a handful of ash…
And we will stare without land, without nature, without nation.
Relocation always takes place with the help of those who do not protect their own mind and their own freedom. This is exactly what happens now.
Like rabbits running after carrots, we run for money, succumbing to the psychological pressure of all the factors that trigger our fear of survival, and actually become volunteer workers in a larger plan, even in a plan we do not approve of. What we are doing at the micro level, what anxieties are triggered by our own "value" judgment, the same thing happens at the macro level. Doesn't the system of life work like that anyway?
What is below, so is above.
When we see what we do not see in the micro, that is, in our own internal structure, in the macro, that is, on the state and society, we become uncomfortable and complain about the situation. Since we are only result-oriented, we try to change what has happened, so we mostly "condemn" and "offend."
However, by taking responsibility for our life, ourselves and our existence, we need to know who and what we serve, to learn what our freedom, free mind and conscience are, and to analyze our own basic fears such as "survival", "death", "failure".
In other words, our individual development and integration within ourselves…
Thus, we cannot be manipulated, managed and unconsciously mediated by fears and anxieties. This gives us the ability and power to manage the process, as opposed to trying to change the outcome.
This is a spiritual, metaphysical expression, no matter how political and sociological it may seem...
Nothing changes by saying, “And that's how it happened,” awareness doesn't happen that way.
You have to dare, to use the mind, to use the heart, to be free.
Everything we complain about is what we are in and what we serve. If you're complaining, look at your contribution to the situation you're complaining about. A state of unconscious giving…
Everyone talks to himself, what do you say to yourself, thinking that you are saying it to the outside?
A journey between the "I"s in our lives
We're accumulating too much 'I'. Actually, collecting doesn't mean exactly, it seems more appropriate to say that we transform. “Old me”, “me today”, “me 5 minutes ago” are all so different from each other… On the one hand, they are all intertwined with each other, carry parts of each other, love each other, constantly criticize each other, and some may even not know each other. also.
How many “I”s are there in our lives, right? How many do we know? Which one do we love the most? I hope we loved/we love at least one of them.
What have we transformed so far? What are we holding on to, we can't let go? How often do we use sentences that begin with “If only I had the right mind now”? In fact, reason alone is not enough. Do we know how much we have accepted some feelings and ignored which ones? How do the sentences that begin with "If I were open to that feeling..." are completed?
None of them is fixed, it is always changing, sometimes it develops, and sometimes it continues in the same cycle. Some are intertwined over time, and we show what we want as much as we want, just like matryoshka dolls.
Our war is mostly with ourselves. Wars do not end in the end, but if we do not declare peace when the time comes, we will take a lot of damage from those wars. It is necessary to make the first and only peace with "I". All other states of peace come after him.
And this period we are in is perhaps the period when the "I"s are most offended because they are the most distant from their essence. Well, no one recognizes what he said "I" because... Most of them are trying to put a new "I" on top of the "original me". It is enough for the outside to look like that, there is no need for the inside to really be like that in this order. Then we get bored, or we think that that “me” is out of date, not as popular as it used to be, and we choose new “I”s from the open buffet. In a society where everything is constantly consumed, we consume ourselves the most without realizing it.
The efforts of strangers to exist in virtual worlds, without the need for real ties, cause them to develop their avatars, not themselves. Likes reduced to social media photos, moments that are not felt when there is no audience, and the need for approval that has become increasingly foreign-dependent, the surrogates are after the most superficial experience. Lives lived as far away from the deep as possible, as if they were just putting their feet in water, make the “I”s more and more dimmer and the people away from them.
It is necessary to act as soon as possible before the identities that are scattered from place to place lose their "I" identity. Maybe, first of all, we need to get rid of satellite relations with people we are happy to be with us as long as they praise us and tell us about us, and move on with those who truly mirror us. Things to look for and things to find are actually inside, not outside. It is necessary to meet again with the “me” that we have hidden, whose voice we have stopped listening to for a while or whom we do not know anymore. The real one is much better than the fake one. If you know one, maybe you would like…
A Sweet Serenity
Peace knocks on our door when we do not have negative thoughts in our minds and pessimistic feelings in our hearts. Starting with ourselves, we take a step towards peace when we accept people, the environment and nature as they are and approve the order of all existence. In other words, when we love life as a whole, respect the universe, and fully accept the present moment and all conditions, we feel peaceful.
Peace is in the person who feels safe, comfortable, satisfied, and has a fresh heart. That person is also at peace with life in general terms. Complaint is the main enemy of peace. Especially if it reflects the voice of our ego!..
Gratitude, on the other hand, is the first and dearest friend of peace. Righteousness, work, and goodness are three inseparable parts of peace. Maintaining peace is not easy. Because there are people who take it as their duty to cause so much negativity and delusion in human life that their only job is to make peaceful, faithful and good people unhappy, to inject negative questions into their brains and to deflect them from the path of peace.
The right person is peaceful. Because his conscience is at ease. The word “truth” is synonymous with truth, honesty, and justice. Religion, morality, laws, scientific ideas are based on absolute truths. To be truthful is not to lie under any circumstance. Philosophy questions all truths.
Integrity in daily life is that our words and actions are in accordance with reason, logic and divine commands. Also, being helpful to people is a condition of truthfulness.
I think it would be useful to scrutinize the subject of "being useful and truthful". Suppose someone came and handed over an item to us for a while. We have to give it back when he wants it. There is also the opposite behavior. Let's say he hands you his gun. After a while he got into a fight. He immediately came and asked for his gun. Under normal circumstances, when he wants his gun back, we have to give it back without hesitation. However, in this case, we can also cause a murder when we give the gun away. So, while being right, we should be helpful to others and take care not to harm anyone.
The second key to our peace is work. Working in all ancient knowledge and religions has been crowned. Because everything is obtained in return for labor, and working keeps people busy and happy mentally, spiritually and physically. The famous medicine man Pasteur has very well symbolized the importance of work in human life with the words “When I waste an hour of working time, it seems to me that I have committed a theft against humanity”.
God created man, laid out his endless blessings in front of him, and stipulated a single condition for him to achieve them: WORKING... Mankind acquired various skills by working, and created civilizations and cultures. Our personality needs to open up, expand, flourish, prove to itself and to society. The only way to do this is to work. As a result, it acquires a right place and name in the society. This is the true joy of our soul.
Everyone who loves his job and works wholeheartedly achieves success sooner or later. In fact, his first success is the happiness he feels while doing his job and the time flies like water when he gives himself to his work. Work in itself brings the greatest joy. The happiness of the producer, especially in the artistic field, cannot be described. After Michelangelo completed the famous "Moses" statue, he was so excited that he threw his hammer at the statue and said, "What are you waiting for, talk!" he exclaimed. This historical event is perhaps the best example of how work opens the door to peace, happiness and joy.
The first to knock on the door of peace is righteousness. He comes upright, young, energetic, with a perfect spiritual structure and knocks on the door once. The door is slightly ajar.
The second guest is working, a little tired, maybe with a stick in his hand, but he is happy, energetic, his sweat has not dried, his hands are calloused. He knocks on the door twice and the door opens a little more.
The third guest is goodness, with the blessings he receives from people, with the awareness that God loves him, he comes running step by step. He knocks on the door three times and the door opens wide. However, goodness showed a lot of effort and effort before it came to the door, and it made many people smile with its actions.
Much can be said and written for good. In my opinion, there are three permanent good deeds in human life.
*To write a book
*Planting a tree
*Build a school
Throughout my life, I have accepted these three basic elements as sacred purpose. I have tried to write and publish books in order to read books and pass on my life experiences to future generations. I know that we owe a lot to nature. For this reason, I try to pay this debt by planting trees in various parts of my country at every opportunity and time I can find. With the awareness that a brighter and stronger world can be achieved through education, I continue to build schools and offer them to our youth by pushing my means.
The happiness and energy given to people by doing good and doing charity cannot be obtained with any material asset in the world. First of all, it gives peace and joy. Since more will be given to the giver, the one who does good also increases his share. Only goodness should be done for show, not for advertising purposes, but only because it is "FAVOR".
While putting the point, I say once again that peace is truth, work, goodness...
The secret of happiness can be hidden in one thing
Could the key to happiness in life be hidden in one thing? Maybe yes… We all want to be happy. However, it may not be possible to achieve happiness by focusing only on the things that we think will bring happiness or by thinking positively. On the contrary; Focusing so much on finding happiness can increase unhappiness…
In other words, being autonomous, being independent, listening to the voice of one's own free will makes one feel happy. According to Atsushi Kukita, a psychology expert at the University of Claremont, who led the research, autonomy creates a sense of action, not a sense of commitment. This situation sees more value in the society and supports both individual and social happiness.
Experience sampling method was used in the research, which examined the connection between autonomy and happiness. In this context, the participants were asked to take notes at different times of the day (6 times a day) for seven days. For these notes, participants were asked to answer questions such as what they were doing at the time and how they were feeling.
As a result of the research, what determines happiness; It was determined whether the people participated in the activity of their own free will, not what they were doing at that time. Another interesting result of the research is that it is more meaningful when people participate in relaxing activities of their own free will. So, for example, although meditating contributes to one's search for meaning and awareness; One can only increase awareness when they do this autonomously and with their own free will.
**How do you become autonomous?**
Incorporating autonomy into life provides happiness in the long run. However, it is certain that everyone has some obligations in life. Going to work, taking care of children, taking care of home… Of course, it is possible to be happy by fulfilling responsibilities. In such cases, it is necessary not to seek happiness, but to know how to be happy with what is done.
If the job you work for does not satisfy you even though it provides you with countless opportunities, it is almost impossible to be happy there. You don't have to fall in love with your job, but if you want to be happy with your job, you must find elements that will satisfy you. What you do needs to be something that interests you.
Most importantly; You have to discover your own individuality. You must remind yourself that you are an individual, that you have decisions and preferences, and that they have value. You can search for autonomy in all areas of life and try to reach it. Your job, your relationships, your choices in life, your leisure activities are just a few of them.
You have to remind yourself that you have options. Sometimes, even when you think you have no choice, you can create a way out for yourself by improving yourself and gaining new skills. All you have to do for this is to open and hold your perception and look around you.
You attract what you "voluntarily"
Do we know what we want?
Or are we like a leaf that the storm hurls us around?
Do we constantly blame life, people and find ourselves holding on to everything we have to stay out of our comfort zone?
I always tell in my seminars: The biggest reason why our creations don't come true is that we don't know what we really want. You think you want to be a manager, but you avoid the responsibility of this position. You think you want to have children, but your fear of losing your freedom may be stronger than your desire to have children. You say that you want to regain your health, but you may not realize that you are nourished by the disease (that you receive attention, care, affection, love in this way), and perhaps even that you hold your loved ones together with this disease.
**And then?**
None of these creations you make will come true. Because your subconscious mind is working against you, not with you. What your mind has learned in our thousands of years of evolution is to keep you safe and alive: by keeping everything that stresses you away (even if it's your biggest dream) away from you.
When the thing you want to create will not give you fear, worry, anxiety, but peace and serenity, then your creation will come true. The main question is: Do you dare to change? If so, it's time to show it to the universe and start the change...
Dear God,
I greet you.
Mysterious Being,
your appearance
and what i learned
I want you to manifest
so that I can gain understanding.
Dear God,
for me to change
Give me courage and strength.
I love you.
So be it.
Until we meet again, stay with love...
The practice of self-love is a conscious choice
If I were to ask you to make a list of the things you love about yourself, would it be short or long? What if I asked you to make a list of the features you dislike and the aspects that you constantly criticize yourself for? While it is very difficult for most of us to see the beautiful aspects of ourselves, it is child's play for us to focus on the parts we do not like.
The reason for this is hidden in our childhood years. The foundations of how to love ourselves are laid by the behavior of the adults around us as children. If we grew up in an environment where we were abused and criticized emotionally, physically or verbally, we are less likely to turn into a fully loving adult.
By the way, when talking about loving yourself, if you think of cooking good meals for yourself and taking care of your hygiene, you are not alone. Self-love and self-care are concepts that are often confused. Although self-love includes self-care practices, the basis of self-love is to accept ourselves with our pluses and minuses. A person can continue to care for himself even though he does not accept himself as he is. Therefore, it is useful to underline the difference between the concepts of self-love and self-care.
Again, the concept of self-love should not be perceived as "let's accept ourselves as we are and take our place". Of course, let's try to change our behaviors that we don't like, but while doing this, let's not knock ourselves down because we have these behaviors. Let's treat ourselves with compassion and kindness.
Unfortunately, some people treat the concept of self-love as a crime. However, self-love is one of the most necessary conditions for psychological resilience. Can we say that someone who constantly complains about himself, who criticizes himself for the slightest mistake, and who does not have peace in his inner world, is happy? Don't you think it's sad to treat oneself as if one is an enemy in an already difficult world?
Self-love should not be perceived as a trend, a passing fashion. Self-love is a necessity, not a luxury. If a person does not work on the wrong messages he heard about himself during his childhood, if he does not heal his childhood wounds, he will not be able to reach full spiritual integrity, and this will affect him all his life. It should not be forgotten that giving self-love is a choice that we must make consciously every day. I wish you to always make your choices in favor of your own well-being…
Which of the Nine Types of Temperament Model are you closest to?
Although personality is mostly shaped by the communication, interaction and experiences with the environment since infancy, it also includes some innate tendencies. It is a general pattern of an individual's continuous thinking, feeling, behaving, interpersonal communication and relationship building characteristics. With a clearer definition, it can be said that personality represents the different characteristics of the individual and the behaviors he exhibits uniquely.
Temperament, also known as temperament, is the mental and physical change of certain emotional reactions, which are much more limited compared to personality, which are specific to the individual in daily routines. For example, it is the characteristics that vary according to the person, such as being quick to anger, bored, cheerful, active or inactive. In other words, temperament, which can be defined as a whole of human emotions and emotions, is only a part of personality.
The Nine Types of Temperament Model (NTTM) is one of the approaches where we can see the temperamental effect of personality. This approach, which deals with temperament types, shows that temperament types consist of some risky features that are open to both positive potentials and negativity.
The mental priority of the Nine Types of Temperament Model 1 is physicality. Positive potential characteristics of people in this category are serious, honest, mature, idealistic, fair, truthful, perfectionist, disciplined, hardworking, meticulous, orderly, principled, controlled, cool-blooded, rational, measured, calculating, obeying the rules, stable, responsible. They can be descriptive, planning, comparing, categorizing and systematic. Their risky features open to negativity are being moralistic, critical, judgmental, overly detailed, quick-tempered, and rigid.
Nine Types of Temperament Model 2 (NTM2), whose mental priority is emotionality, is loving, relationship-oriented, very emotional, expressive, warm, extroverted, sincere, talkative, sympathetic, strong communication skills, friendly, pitying, helpful, altruistic, giving. includes positive potentials such as The risky features that are open to negativity are that they can be easily affected, irritable, persistent, clingy, reproachful, likes to attract attention, jealous and manipulative.
The mental priority of the individuals in the Nine Types Temperament Model 3 (NTM3) category is emotionality and their positive potential is to be success-career oriented, competitive, focused on their goal, not hindering their negative emotions, popular, diplomatic, practical, adaptive, determined, hardworking and productive. Ambitious, status-seeking, self-seeking and cunning features are seen as risks open to negativity.
Nine Types of Temperament Model 4 (NTM4) gives place to emotional mental priority. While their positive potential features are being individual, original, extraordinary, empathetic, hypersensitive, designer, artistic, have an aesthetic point of view, seeking identity, sensitive, natural, sincere, friendly, compassionate, romantic, their risks open to negativity are rebellious, contradictory, They can be easily hurt, melancholic, passionate, envious individuals.
The mental priority of the Nine Types of Temperament Model 5 is intellectuality. Positive potential traits are that they can be introverted, quiet, observant, analytical, deeply curious, rational, objective, researcher, abstractionist, conceptualizer, specialist, archivist. The risks open to negativity are that they can be asocial, suspicious, cold, distant, emotionless, stingy.
Nine Types of Temperament Model 6 (NTM6), whose mental priority is intellectuality, is trust and safety oriented, team player, attaches importance to loyalty, curious, stores data, does not show its color, does not stand out, is cautious, thrifty, meticulous, organized, observing all possibilities, secretive / While it contains positive potentials such as keeping secrets, it can also include anxious, anxious, needing authority, paranoid, touchy, pessimistic, insecure, calculating, indecisive, unsure, suspicious, obsessive, controlling features.
The mental priority of the Nine Types of Temperament Model 7 is intellectuality. Potential positive features are that they can be individuals who are open to innovation, curious to explore, active, sociable, extroverted, quick to relate, talkative, experiential, visionary, innovative, dreamy, cheerful, optimistic, practical, quick to associate, and seek excitement. Their negative traits are that they avoid boredom, are disorganized, extravagant, exaggerating, impatient, bored easily, uncalculated, impulsive, distracted, greedy, and have flight of ideas.
Nine Types of Temperament Model 8 (NTM8), which mentally prioritizes physicality, can include positive traits such as leader, confident, courageous, generous, patronizing, challenging, challenging, straightforward, enterprising, quick to act, clear, and durable. Being domineering, oppressive, authoritarian, harsh, intrusive, intolerant, angry, belligerent, and violent are among the characteristics that can pose a risk.
Finally, the mental priority of the Nine Types of Temperament Model 9 is physicality. It is a positive potential for them to be calm, harmonious, peaceful, mediator, mild, peaceful, non-judgmental, integrative, avoiding conflict, soft, flexible, patient, routine-loving and letting go. Risky traits that are open to negativity are slow-blooded, passive-resilient, having difficulty saying no, not being involved, suppressing their anger, procrastinating, and being shy.
In all temperament models, positive and negative features have 3 levels. Although the "self-confidence" feature is in the positive potential category in the temperament model, if an individual experiences this feature more than necessary, we can say that it is an unhealthy feature. Or, if a person who cares about trust and loyalty can trust both his environment and himself and at the same time be accepting and forgiving in the face of insecurity and infidelity, this person is at the maturity level in this feature. If the same person tests the reliability of those around him, but can trust temporarily, even if it is difficult, this is the normal level. But if the person is always insecure and suspicious of himself and his environment, this level is unhealthy.
As the features in the unhealthy category are mostly acquired from childhood, as mentioned at the beginning of the article, they can harm the individual psychologically after a while and therefore cause personality disorders.
Recognizing the function of emotions
Feeling good is so important that it seems to be our only goal right now. Words like, “I must feel good, so I must think positively, everything will be fine, I must always be positive…” go on and on. So what does it mean to feel good? What's it like? Or how to get this feeling?
We all have certain emotions that we describe as “good” and “bad”. The ones we define as good are usually feelings such as happiness, joy and excitement, while the ones we define as bad are feelings such as fear, anxiety, hatred and anger. So in order to feel good, do we have to feel emotions that we think are "good"? So, how are these feelings achieved? I say it is achieved because in today's world there is a perception that we can choose our emotions or reach them as a goal.
For this reason, I think it is useful to know what emotion means first. The concept of emotion refers to acute responses to emerging threats or opportunities, as flexibly coordinated changes in experience, behavior or physiology. Emotions are our psychological and physiological reactions that arise spontaneously as a result of our experiences. That is, emotions are not achieved or obtained. Emotions cannot be a goal or a goal. Emotions are lived and experienced. We feel an emotion as a result of the situations and events we experience in life. Emotions are signals that tell us we like or dislike something.
The most important function of emotions is to keep us alive. Emotions enable us to survive individually in the face of threats.
Emotions that are defined as negative are generally thought of as unwanted herbs that grow in our garden. We think that our garden would be much more beautiful without them. We should not forget that these negative feelings are indispensable for our survival. If we did not feel emotions such as fear and anxiety, we would not run away from an oncoming car. We wouldn't hesitate to touch something hot. So, in a way, these emotions are our alarm systems that allow us to understand what is going on and keep us alive.
We can feel happiness or physiological comfort when we eat a delicious meal, we can feel happy when we see someone we love, we can get excited when we think of going to a new place, we can feel sad or angry when something we do not want. Sometimes thoughts cause emotions, sometimes behaviors and physiological symptoms can reveal emotions. For example, we may become excited or worried when we notice our heart rate speeding up. We can also feel sad when we think we can't just do something without experiencing it. We can get angry when someone hits us.
We can say that it is just as important, even more important, that emotions show what we want and what we like, as well as what we do not want. Trying to escape from these negative feelings can be the biggest "evil" we do to ourselves. Avoiding emotions will cause those emotions to become stronger. That is, they will not be able to perform their functions. When our emotions show that things are not going well somewhere, if we ignore it or try to suppress it with things like alcohol, overeating, drug use, working too much, excessive shopping, we cannot understand what is going on and fix what we cannot understand or realize. Although such methods may seem to provide temporary relief, the violence of unmet emotions will continue to affect our lives negatively. Processing bias towards verbal anxiety and distraction from mental images is negatively reinforced in the short term as it reduces negative emotion and arousal. But in the longer run, it inhibits emotional processing of the material, causing more distress.
When we don't listen to our feelings or when we deal with these feelings, we actually burn our volcanic mountain with the methods that we think are good.
So what should we do with our “negative” emotions?
First of all, we must recognize our emotion. Ask ourselves, “How am I feeling right now?” We can start by asking. After recognizing our emotion, we should focus on the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that we need to analyze. What do I feel when I think or what do I feel? What does this feeling that I have over and over again tell me? How can I deal with this feeling? What should I do differently? We can move forward with functional questions like these.
In addition to these feelings, we should also focus on our feelings that we see as “positive”. While the feelings that we think are not good for us draw our attention, we sometimes neglect the ones that are good. Studies indicate that successful regulation of positive emotions provides greater well-being, social support, and life satisfaction, while also creating buffers against stress, negative emotions and depressive episodes. In this way, we can reinforce our positive feelings. Only in this way is it possible to truly “feel good”.
I wish you a day when you listen to all your feelings!
Don't let your need for approval get you down
Our very pertinent need for validation plays an important role in our relationships. As in all areas of life, the secret of our need for approval is in balance. If you need validation too much, it may be holding you back from doing the things you want to do.
Jones defines the desire for approval as follows: “It is a strong need to be loved and approved by almost every person whom one finds important in the society in which one lives. The essence of this belief is that love and approval emerge as a need rather than a desired state. The degree of our need for validation is related to the geography we live in as well as our childhood. Especially like ours, “What does it say?” People have a high need for approval in societies where such words are used frequently. Turkey is a society where collectivist culture is common. “Individuals from collectivist cultures showed a higher need for social approval compared to Americans considered representative of the individualistic culture”.
If you think you need approval and you start to feel unhappy because of this, analyze this situation objectively. Why do you need the approval of others so much? What does it mean to you that someone approves of you? How do you feel when someone you care about doesn't approve of you? Do you use sentences that deny yourself in order to get approval from your friends or people around you? Do you live without revealing your essence just so they will love you? Or are you trying to make yourself appear less intelligent, less successful, or less beautiful than you are just so that others will be happy? How long do you intend to continue your life by sacrificing yourself in this way? Don't you think you deserve to live just as you are?
If you didn't get enough approval from your parents as a child, it may have caused you as an adult to become addicted to the feeling of approval from the outside world. The person who is dependent on the approval from the outside world and starting to work on these issues with a psychologist can help increase the person's self-confidence. It should not be forgotten that we are no longer children with a high need for approval, but adults who have the capacity to live their lives 24/7 without needing the approval of others. Our worth as a human being does not depend on whether or not others approve of us. Whoever praises us today may criticize us negatively tomorrow. If our thoughts about ourselves change according to what other people think of us, we have a difficult time. By showing ourselves self-compassion under all circumstances, we can prevent approval addiction from taking over.
Is solitude your choice or your destiny?
There have always been times when you felt alone in crowds. Especially if you live in a big city or metropolis… Well, those moments when you say, “I wish I could be alone for a while!”? Unshared loneliness? That wonderful, liberating and relaxing feeling of being alone? Have you ever wondered where the difference between the loneliness we feel when we need others and the need to be alone comes from? In order to be able to distinguish between the feeling of loneliness expressed by the sentence "I wish I had someone with me!" and the need for loneliness in the sentence "I wish I could be alone for a while!", it is first necessary to understand what loneliness is.
It is an inevitable fact that human beings are social creatures and we need to be in contact with other people around us in order to protect our mental health. Supporting the results of this research, the pandemic period reminded us once again how socializing, bonding and communicating with other people is one of the most basic human needs.
However, on the other hand, getting tired of the crowd and socializing and returning to ourselves and being alone are as natural and important as socializing and establishing meaningful relationships. Sometimes we need to be alone and discharged in order to store up energy to be able to socialize, and sometimes – assuming that we are not loaded with positive energy every time we socialize – to get rid of the negative energy that accumulates on us. We want to be alone to turn on the music that we are ashamed to listen to in front of others, to dance, to sing to ourselves, to meditate, to read a book or to take time for our personal care.
The dictionary meaning of the word loneliness, the definition of 'solitude, desolation', is an extremely neutral description that does not actually refer to loneliness as a negative or positive concept. Although 'loneliness' is often perceived as a negative concept for human beings, who are social creatures, whether the meaning you attribute to loneliness is positive or negative is directly related to 'why' you are alone. In other words, preferentially wanting to be alone or feeling lonely can cause you to frame the definition of loneliness in a positive or negative sense.
While a preferential and voluntary loneliness is entirely our own choice and expresses a physical loneliness; The feeling of loneliness is the product of an emotional and complex process that is experienced because of how many people are around us. In order to understand the difference between the two, one must first understand what each means, how it arose and was experienced.
**Feeling of loneliness: Emotional loneliness**
Loneliness is a universal human emotion that is both complex and unique to each individual. Due to its subjective nature, the feeling of loneliness can be affected by many different factors and triggered by different situations. For this reason, both 'feeling alone in crowds' and the loneliness you feel due to the fact that there is no one around you to communicate with can mean the same thing. Some of the most common situations where the feeling of loneliness is shaped by the person's perception of the world and their subjective evaluations are as follows:
New beginnings: The feeling of loneliness of new beginnings and not knowing anyone, such as starting a new job or school where you don't know anyone, participating in an event you don't know anyone, moving to a different city.
The thought of “I am different from others”: Having a personality trait, physical difference or situation that makes you different from other people around you, and the feeling of loneliness caused by feeling different and being isolated.
Inability to form deep relationships: A feeling of loneliness caused by not being able to form deep and meaningful relationships with those people, even if you have too many friends or a long-term partner.
Lack of time: The feeling of loneliness caused by people in your social circle not being able to spend as much time with you as before, or not creating the time necessary to deepen your relationship with someone you just met.
Insecure relationships: The feeling of loneliness that arises when you doubt the depth or sincerity of their relationship with you, even though you have many friends to spend time with.
The need for quiet time: The feeling of loneliness that comes with not being able to spend time alone with people you love and with whom you have deep ties, in a quiet, calm and slow environment, because your social circle is very wide.
On the basis of the feeling of loneliness, which we refer to as emotional loneliness, it emerges as a result of seeing oneself as useless, unwanted, unloved and unappreciated. People who cannot establish secure relationships, cannot experience the feeling of sincerity and depth in their relationships, and therefore feel lonely, cannot meet their need for attachment and communication even if they have a crowded social environment because they have difficulty in establishing relationships. These people, who have stereotyped thoughts and behaviors about social relations, from their communication skills to their assumptions about how trustworthy people are, need to be able to recognize the thoughts and behaviors that cause them to feel lonely in order to cope with the feeling of loneliness.
While the causes of loneliness can be situational, such as physical isolation, moving to a new place or divorce, as in the examples above, psychological problems such as depression can also pave the way for the feeling of loneliness. In addition, low self-confidence and self-esteem can cause a person to think that he is not worthy of the love and attention of other people, thus not being able to establish secure and deep bonds, and isolating himself, leading to a chronic feeling of loneliness.
As you have seen, the feeling of loneliness can have many different causes, regardless of how many friends you have around you, how many followers you have on social media, or how much of your time you spend with others. Just as the emergence of the feeling of loneliness does not always depend on physical loneliness, it is not possible to make an inference that being physically alone or preferring to be alone will cause you to feel lonely. As a result, while the feeling of loneliness is much more subjective and is related to many psychological factors such as the person's perception of events, relationship status, attachment styles, a preferred 'loneliness' may have the power to strengthen your connection with yourself.
It is possible not to feel lonely by being alone, to enjoy being alone and to enjoy solitude. Once you discover the 'why' of your feeling of loneliness and accept that feeling and turn being alone into a positive experience, you will find that you are free from the feeling of loneliness. When you understand what loneliness means to you, whether you are in a preferred or compulsory loneliness, when you need loneliness or socialization more, you will see that you can manage your relationship with loneliness and your social environment much better. What is your loneliness?
How does your relationship with time affect your life?
Do you live in your current time zone or in the past? Or with the dream of the future? There may be many moments when living a spontaneous life, enjoying the day and having fun are your top priorities, or you may live this way all the time. Present-oriented people sometimes feel social anxiety and anxiety, but living in the moment and looking to the future without worry distinguishes them from other people. They tend to be more inclined to affirm life.
Each time period has its own positive and negative perceptions. Culture, our perception of the outside world and our perspective are also three critical components for our perception of time. If we think in terms of culture, collectivist societies such as China and India are more inclined to live with the past period. Industry-oriented societies such as Korea and Japan are often focused on living in the moment and what can be done in the moment. North American society is more focused on future-oriented, future-oriented strategies and plans. Europe, on the other hand, was a society with a high focus on the future in the 1960s, but now it has a high focus on the past and a pessimistic picture about the future.
The second component after culture is our perception of the outside world. The fact that we see the outside world with its positive or negative sides affects how we perceive the time period. For example, someone who has a positive perspective on the past often looks at past family albums, maintains family routines, often expresses how beautiful the past was, and is in search of those days. People with a negative perception of the past, on the other hand, see the past as a reason for what is happening today and what will happen in the future, they blame the past and often express their regrets.
People who tend to perceive the present positively may be inclined towards hedonism. They can base their life solely on enjoying the present moment, often avoiding situations that will cause pain or distress. On the other hand, people who have a negative perception about today may think that everything they experience is due to fate. They tend to accept the negative situation by saying, “This is what happened to me right now because that's how it was supposed to be” and not look for a remedy for it.
Future-oriented people prioritize working, producing and aiming for the better when they have a positive approach. They ignore the current temptations in the outside world and focus on the job at hand. In this way, they set a goal to build a good future. The negative-prone approach of being future-oriented is to prepare for the post-world life, therefore, to set aside the pleasure one will get from the present and the future, and to construct life to fill the time in this world.
So, can we be "in the moment" at any moment, or is that a good thing if possible? In fact, it is important to try to choose the "good" from every perspective in order to find the balance. For example, you are on leave, you have taken a break from everything and you have no pending responsibilities. In this case, you can devote all your time to this subject and enjoy it in order to breathe the air in the environment you are in and to enjoy the beauties around you. Let's say you have to fulfill a critical task related to your job or there are expectations from you for a critical issue. In these moments, it is critical to know how to leave the present behind and focus on the future and how you will get the job done. You can make a prediction about this by opening a time in your mind and looking at how much of your time has passed, how much of it is now, and how much of it is for the future. Maybe you need to revise this account, this is an opportunity to see it.
Everyone around us may have different perceptions and perspectives on time. Considering these differences, the most important thing is to enjoy living together with people we do not think of in the same time period and to enjoy the differences. How about thinking about your perception of the outside world by thinking about the psychology of the time?
Time to refresh: what's yours and what's not?
Are the things you love really your loved ones? Or do you love them because someone else loves them? Perhaps you have been taught to love them.
What about the ones you don't like? For example, have you ever tried that thing you don't like? Have you surrendered to your prejudices or have you made a judgment based on your experience? Maybe you don't like it because others don't like it and you want to be in the same group as them. Do your tastes belong to you or to others?
What about your values, do they belong to you? “What are your values?” If they ask, can you make a list that you feel comfortable with? You know, have you ever thought about them?
So do you have limits? Or do you just act within the boundaries that others have drawn for you?
What does comfortable mean to you? How are you comfortable? For example, which loads bother you, or which people? Can you remove those who disturb you from your life? On the contrary, maybe you are too self-indulgent? Could it be that you are missing out on many opportunities so you don't feel comfortable?
In fact, there are countless such questions one should ask oneself. And asking these questions has to start somewhere. If we take time to get to know ourselves better this spring, determine our own space, clean it, "What should we stay, what should we throw away?" It would be nice if we thought about it… For example, if we realized our own pleasures, the things we were excited about, the things we were tired of, and the things we didn't want anymore.
While walking on a road in the flow of life, sometimes we need to take a break and listen to ourselves instead of continuing without questioning our preferences, why we are walking on that road, whether the road belongs to us or not. Spring is the time to refresh, and we can use this time to refresh ourselves.
Coach yourself to reach your goals
Sometimes it is difficult for us to move towards our goals because of the routine intensity in our lives. Let alone remembering the dreams we want to realize, we find ourselves in a scenario where we are thrown to wherever the wind blows. It is as if the roles have been handed out to us, and we are playing those roles unwillingly. Because of this scenario that develops beyond our control, we lose our joy, sometimes it is difficult to get out of bed...
We find ourselves in the cycle of hedonic pleasures of short-term pleasures, shopping, eating, and unfortunately these pleasures are temporary. Pleasures do not fill the emptiness within us when we do not remember very well our purpose, why we are here, and what we strive for. At such times, if we cannot get outside help, it is necessary to return to ourselves and remember what we actually want to do, what we want to be and what kind of a trace we want to leave. One of the most effective tools to return to yourself is coaching. Below I leave you a 4-step method that you can use to coach yourself at the beginner level.
1-What areas of your life do you want to improve? (For example, work, relationship, social area, skills, mind, body, health…)
2-What result do you want to achieve in these areas? (For example, being more confident, getting better at your job, improving your relationship with your partner, learning a new skill…)
3-Identify the daily steps you need to take to reach this goal. (For example, take 15 minutes every day to learn something new to be good at work, plan at least one good time activity each week to improve your relationship with your partner, spend at least 15 seconds each day cuddling…)
4-Write down the factors and solutions that might hinder this step. (For example, if the obstacle to being good at work is lack of time, as a solution, you can reduce the time you spend on social media by 15 minutes, or if you can't spare time for your partner due to children's responsibilities, you can ask your elders to watch the children for a few hours one day a week.)
Although each item is very important here, item 4 will make it easier for you to take a step for change, as it reminds you of the factors that may pose an obstacle to the decisions you take and helps you find solutions. We tend to blame the outside for matters in our lives, but change always starts from within. “Challenges” on the outside try to show us what needs to change inside. In order to see the things we need to change about ourselves and take steps, you can consider which areas of your life have the most difficulties. Because these challenges give you clues about where change should happen.
To grow, multiply and meet in order to exist
I am quickly drawn through the void and the void, in a thousand feelings and images. Maybe it's intensifying sounds, maybe it's a movement that I don't understand at all, but that I don't need anyway. This movement is a still movement.
I am there, even though I think my small body is huge. I'm going fast, my eyes are closed, I have a body, but wasn't it always there? Or was it a cognition that I thought was the body?
I'm going, to the one that draws me in, that takes me in...
I fall in love, a celebration, a riot, a harmony, a great and rapid transformation, explosions, colors, sounds… I am forming.
I exist myself. Where I withdraw, I create life like a bomb, like a seed coming from the sky, I fertilize the earth, we become one with the earth and transform… Together.
I am growing, my audience is growing, I am multiplying, I am meeting, I am creating myself in water, I am forming…
The water can't take any more, it can't carry me any more, it cracks its shell and throws me out, at great speed, all at once.
I see the light, I realize myself. I am always amazed at the transition from one place to another.
I am amazed!
I am surprised!
I start to cry, I cry more when I hear my voice, I don't know what this sound is, I don't understand where it comes from. Everything is so foreign.
I am surprised!
I have a feeling of amazement, I have a feeling! I don't know this, but I eat spoon by spoon like a hungry person and I'm growing. I'm growing in amazement. I grow up with the liquid they give out of my mouth.
do i have a mouth
Why?
Am I not everywhere and everything? Is there a limit?
Nutrition is everything, right?
I don't understand, do you need feeding?
Am I not already full?
Is there hunger?
I am learning and growing…
I wander from hand to hand, from lap to lap… But for me, I keep being drawn from blue to yellow, from a cotton ball to a light. I also eat the lights there, spoon by spoon and growing.
I am not afraid of my voice, it is familiar to me now, it is always with me...
I play with it, accompany the lights, imitate the pulls with my voice.
And now I shape the lights, I can get out of them and look outside. I can watch the intensity of the beams coming from there.
I am here in the world. In the cocoon of those who pulled me from the sky.
I am a guest, but I am not. Somewhere in between, I belong and I don't.
I belong to everything. Not one thing, one cocoon.
But I am held there, I am getting smaller and smaller, withdrawing from everywhere, shrinking into the body cocoon I have created. My lights, those filamentous beams are getting thinner and weaker.
The shapes created by the light become clear, dull and the light slowly disappears…
They always sing me a song, always the same song… It's me. I look at them when they sing me that song, I make noise. My song is in their language.
Is there such a thing as them?
How was it?
Wasn't I whole with everything?
I'm confused, afraid...
I am scared! I spoon fear into hunger, I grow a little bigger.
They keep on singing the song, it sounds flatter now, like a voice, a voice without a melody…
I have a name. Did they describe me?
I'm separating.
I'm worried! I also eat it with a spoon and I get a little bigger.
I sleep in your scents, in the scent that draws me into this cocoon...
I'm drawn to this scent, this intensity, this love...
I spoon this and eat it, I'm growing again.
In that scent, I always remember my first draw, my free flow there...
This is where I start, inside and out. I forget the first one and just keep this in my mind.
I'm erasing where I pulled from my memory, that wasn't a place anyway...
One day I realize myself looking into the distance. I'm somewhere else and I'm here.
A void inside me, but also a state of overflow…
Where did I come from, dad?
I put my hand on his stomach. It's the same emptiness, the same exuberance inside him.
I'm hugging.
Don't worry, I'm here.
He says to me, don't worry, I'm here.
I'll teach you how to live with it.
I'll find you the missing piece here.
Finding my own piece means finding everyone else's. One piece is enough.
It is completed on all layers, on all versions at the same time, one on top of the other. When one is completed, all are completed.
From a place I know but don't know I know, I know.
Can we enjoy the spring and the open air after two years?
In our daily life, we experience many positive and negative events together. Some days it can be positive, some days negative events can dominate. But mostly negative events remain in our minds. As human beings, our minds tend to see and remember the negative.
It's like this year in April. There are many people around us who complain about not being able to enjoy it. Maybe we are one of them. Come, let's remember the past years together. For the last two years, there was a curfew in April and we had to spend our weekends indoors, unless we had an excuse. Nature wakes up outside, and we were happy that we could at least breathe this air while going to the market.
We are free this spring! We can spend as much time outside as we want, we can enjoy it. But this is the structure of our mind, our attention again shifts to the negative. “The weather did not improve.”, “Will there be snow or rain in this season?” we keep complaining. When we look at the general picture, there are many positive situations, right? But why do we still find ourselves in the negative?
Perhaps the most important reason for this is our expectation of what “ought to be” and our holding on to this expectation! Many of us expected that when we were free, the weather would be sunny, the flowers had already bloomed, we could wear our spring clothes and be able to stand outside comfortably without getting cold. Two years later, we would finally be able to experience spring as we "expected". We hold on to this so much that we get upset because the weather is not permanently warm and constantly fluctuating, and we cannot see the positive unless it is what we expect.
Pain is negative events that happen to us and it is inevitable. It is not in our hands whether the adverse event will occur or not. But if we resist pain, that is, if we constantly try to stay away from it and get rid of it, the pain turns into suffering. Pain is inevitable while suffering is optional. It is shaped by our response to pain.
Returning to the topic of enjoying/not being able to enjoy the spring and the open air, we can call the lower temperature of the weather as bitter. This is inevitable. I don't think we can heat the air when we think about it day and night! Relying on the warming of the weather and keeping the fact that the weather is not warm on our agenda is our resistance to pain. While the resistance is low in some, it can be quite high in others. The amount of resistance shown will determine the suffering. The person with little resistance can accept the situation and still enjoy the outdoors, celebrating freedom this season two years later. On the other hand, the person who shows a lot of resistance may close himself to the house, this time of his own will, and complain about the situation all the time.
By showing resistance, the structure of our brain evolves to show resistance. In other words, it is not a realistic expectation to suddenly drop the resistance. It is necessary to deal with the habits that lie here and to try to change the structure of the brain by intending to let go of the resistance. The work will bear fruit.
If you are willing to reduce your resistance, regular meditation is one of the most effective tools for this. Scientific studies have revealed that mindfulness meditation changes the structure of the brain. If you want to meditate and don't know where to start, you can get regular meditation practice by joining my morning meditation group.
Why Is Taking Responsibility Important?
All ancient knowledge and teachings emphasize the importance of taking responsibility for one's own behavior and accept this behavior as a rule of adult and maturity level.
There is hardly any other creature other than man that has a problem with responsibility. Birds run after their bread early in the morning. You wouldn't hear anyone say to them, "Come on, stay, it's morning, go to work". Not only birds, but all living things in nature are on the move to do their job in a programmed way, like a living robot.
When it comes to people, things change for some reason. Humans, like other living things, have to do something to obtain their basic needs. And then to fulfill other wishes. Although the fact of the matter may seem like this, people's hearts, personalities, behaviors and lifestyles are unfortunately irregular and change from situation to situation. While some are orderly, responsible and trying to produce something, others are careless, lazy, and have a strange attitude that takes advantage of the weaknesses of others. Others are completely embittered and see themselves as victims.
Regardless, the concept of human is not just about existence. As he moves from childhood to adulthood, he has to develop and strengthen some of his core values and character. Everyone does not have to come to a place as a position, but as a person and behavior, the individual has to take the responsibility of his own life and apply it until he becomes the best himself.
It is not right to leave anyone alone because human is a rare being that can exhibit behavior that harms even himself. You can't see this in other living things, but humans can behave in such wrong ways. For this reason, the sense of responsibility, that is, taking the responsibilities of one's own life, is an important competence that should be given importance.
No one has to be a burden to anyone unless there are special circumstances. Adults must first strive to create themselves, and then, by being productive in the ecosystem they live in, they must first live by learning and improving themselves in order to lead a meaningful and holistic life without harming them.
No one should even think of deceiving, deceiving, tempting or using anyone with lies. These should be human behavior. No one should be anyone's enemy. Even if there are discussions, they should learn to solve problems with the understanding that there is no loser in the culture of consensus.
These are not dreams and are very ordinary behaviors. A person can do these things, but first he must learn to discipline and know himself, and that's what schools and family are for, but that's not how it works in reality.
Taking responsibility and ensuring that one is responsible for one's behavior should be the basis of the culture of life, and some sanctions should be imposed on those who fail to pass this exam. Then people don't pollute the streets, throw their garbage in the trash can, don't go through the red, don't spit on the street, respect the green and forests and other living things and make life easier. Such a person is happy and looks at life more meaningfully, even if he does not have much. It's not hard actually. Life is about reducing some redundancy rather than putting it on as you age. Living more simply and simply is the key to a meaningful life.
Entrepreneur is Risk Taker
A fact to be underlined about entrepreneurship; The need for entrepreneurs is a necessity and indispensable for all world economies.
Entrepreneurial personality has existed and developed throughout the history of humanity. It has brought dynamism, vitality, movement and abundance to the economy it is in.
An entrepreneur is an innovator, a leader, a manager, and an entrepreneur is a practical decision maker. Based on these details, an entrepreneur is an organizer, business owner, intelligent, quick-thinking, mature, balanced, imaginative and foresighted, versatile, self-developing at social and cultural level, with economic knowledge.
Entrepreneurship generally involves risk and despite the definition used in practice, it is not sufficient to express an action and thought for economic purposes only. Many events and periods that have cost, shaped and added value to history have been and are being lived as the results of certain initiatives.
In the 1960s, the "Hula Hoop" had become an epidemic in the USA. In a short time, the plastic hoops of this hoop spin game, which aroused curiosity and excitement all over the world, were brought to our country. It was unclear at first whether it would be popular. Children, adults, young and old loved the "Hula Hoop". Empty spaces, the streets began to fill with Hula Hoop spinners, and the manufacturers made a lot of money.
Risk and uncertainty go hand in hand in entrepreneurship. The one who has foresight and courage wins. Here is entrepreneurship!.. Entrepreneur may have brought this important characteristic genetically from birth. However, the effect of the family, the education, the environment and the social environment is also in question. In particular, the culture of the family, the relations of family members with each other and with other people, and whether there is an entrepreneur in the family are very important factors.
Globally, entrepreneurs have two common features. The first is “The passion to make something happen. His passion to be the pioneer of innovations is like the passion of a painter, sculptor or writer. This is a passion that captivates and intoxicates people.
Another common feature of entrepreneurs is to see opportunities that others do not see, to turn them into business ideas, to take risks and to take the first step.
People who can approach others more positively, make easy friendships and appear sympathetic are more successful as entrepreneurs. A good education increases this success even more. Success is a spiritual need for man, it is a way to prove himself. Commitment and power needs are also points of spiritual satisfaction in terms of a person's psychological and social position.
The entrepreneurial personality draws strength from the creative personality. Entrepreneurs are often very fond of independence. Being able to act freely, making decisions and expressing oneself are the areas of free movement that give entrepreneurs a driving force and motivation. The entrepreneur correctly analyzes the future of both his own future and the future of his business or company, and knows the logical result in advance. His premonition is very strong. They also have unique intuitions in seeing market gaps and making decisions and acting in that direction.
The entrepreneur must always be creative and innovative. An innovation is a development or a new service or product introduced to the market. For entrepreneurs, every new problem requires a new solution and for this, the entrepreneur has to use his creativity skills properly.
Every entrepreneur who wants to progress should evaluate his past mistakes with an objective eye, learn lessons and never forget the experience he has gained. Entrepreneurs with self-confident, optimistic thinking and structure have a clear path. Innovation and innovative understanding are the basic steps of the entrepreneur.
Innovation adds value to the level and quality of life. Innovation is a process and it creates positive effects in the lives of those who benefit from it. Innovation provides economic and social benefits, adds cultural accumulation and strength to the environment that supports and creates it.
No matter where in the world, an entrepreneur is obliged to constantly learn, develop himself, understand economic-technological-social innovations and adapt them to his life without losing time. It is not very easy.
As a businessman who has undertaken many responsibilities, I can say that; My late father advised me a few very short phrases such as "Everything is on time" and "Headship is in knowledge" as a principle of living. These two guiding words or principles have taught me a lot in my work life, family environment and social relationships.
Discover what lies behind your complaints
When I was doing music work, we had gone to Europe on business and stayed there for four days due to long rehearsals. There were times in my life when everything was overlapping and I was extremely unhappy, and I was too aggressive for that. One day, after lunch, we had 2-3 hours of free time, and we were relaxing by the pool. At that time, we started talking to my beloved brother, my mentor, and I started to complain as usual. As you know, I came back from the dead in America, I had a live operation, my brother, my grandmother, my grandfather passed away recently, I can't make good money, no one understands me, I don't have a girlfriend, I want to have a girlfriend... Then I will share the conversations between us with you because it is a very big thing in my life. It has been a turning point, I think it will be useful to you as well. Although years have passed, I remember our conversations sentence by sentence.
B: As you know, I came back from the dead in America, I had surgery alive, my brother, grandmother, grandfather passed away recently, I can't make good money, nobody understands me, I don't have a girlfriend, I want to have a girlfriend...
X: Why would a man want to be with you?
B: I'm pretty, smart, fit, I cook well, I'm fun, my good friend, my body is beautiful…
X: Yes, I agree with all of them but you are unhappy and complain all the time! Why would anyone want to be with someone who is unhappy and constantly complaining? No one wants to wake up with an unhappy person in the morning, do you?
B: No, of course not.
X: You know that I love you and that I'm saying this because I'm thinking of you. If you're someone I don't like, I won't tell or comment. I know that you will not misunderstand, besides, I understand you very well since I have been through these roads. What you're going through is very difficult, I know this as someone close to you, but do you know how you look from the outside for a person who doesn't know you? Let me give you an example.
B: Small, cute, playful but their voices are so annoying and high-pitched, you want to love like that, but when you hear her voice, you get annoyed and run away.
X: Exactly! So how are bulldogs?
B: Strong, tough, durable…
X: Yes, I think too, also bulldogs are not loud, they are alert, they observe well, they only bark to protect themselves if they see a danger. In this illustration you are a chihuahua. Yes, you're beautiful, you're sympathetic, but people avoid you because you're always squealing with a high pitched voice. It's okay with me, I understand you, but for those who don't know you, you look like this. I know that this is because of this difficult period you are going through. I know that this period is difficult, but I also know that if you are whole within yourself like a bulldog, you will get through this very easily. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing you, it's not my place. You can also choose to be a chihuahua in your life, I respect it, but after a while I will stop being friends with you. If you have a problem, come, tell us, let's try to solve it, but repeating them is not a solution, let alone removing people from your environment, it's a pity you live with these cycles all the time. Also, everyone has a problem. Why would anyone listen to you complaining all the time? Once upon a time, I was just like you, getting angry and grumbling at every difficulty. Then one day my meditation teacher came to me and said, "Who are you angry with?"
Yes, friends, years passed after this speech, all kinds of troubles took place, my business collapsed, my health deteriorated, it happened, this happened… There were times when I came back to the same point, I experienced very miraculous events. When you look at the whole, everything happens and will continue to happen. The key is to find the reasons. These experiences do not only happen to me, we all experience similar things as parts of the whole. As someone who is both very social and has a job with people, I can say very clearly: “IF SOMEONE COMPLAINS CONTINUOUSLY ABOUT THE SAME ISSUE, HE IS ACTUALLY HAPPY WITH THE SITUATION!” Therefore, please evaluate the issues you are complaining about with the following five steps and be honest with yourself. I recommend that you write.
Analyze.
Find out what you can do to get out of this situation.
Eliminate from your life anything that does not benefit you.
Learn and leave it behind so that you don't experience the same situation over and over.
Start your next evolutionary process.
Change may not happen in a day, but even starting to change will create great benefits in your life, the important thing is to be determined. An American proverb says, "In a sentence, but if there is, the rest is a lie." Wishing you to get rid of the “buts”… Remember that no one will come with their magic wand and offer you a wonderful life…
How can you combat mental fatigue?
Come on, let's test together what level of mental fatigue is. Which of the following statements describe you?
“No matter how much I sleep, I have a hard time starting the day with an open mind.”
“I really want to read, but I can never focus long enough.”
“Actually, there are a lot of things I want to start with, but I can't find the strength to take the first step.”
“Every time I try to rest, I immediately think of things to do.”
If at least two of the four items above describe you, then you should put everything aside and read this article with all your attention. Because today I'm talking about how to combat mental fatigue with minimal effort.
**What is mental fatigue?**
When our mind is tired, actions such as focusing, thinking and making decisions that we can easily do under normal conditions are difficult. Our performance worsens, our productivity decreases.
**Mental fatigue and physical fatigue**
Dealing with physical fatigue is relatively easy compared to mental fatigue. When we run, our legs shake and we stop. After a long day of standing, we immediately lie down on the sofa. After carrying heavy bags, we know that we shouldn't put too much strain on our aching arms. On the other hand, when our minds are tired, we do not treat ourselves with such understanding. No matter how tired our minds are, we continue to look at the phone's notifications. We go on with our lives without caring how much our increasing screen time actually tires our minds.
As a result of the studies, we know that our brain secretes the hormone dopamine in every notification that comes to our smart devices. Dopamine is a hormone that gives us the feeling of reward. Every stimulus we receive in the form of a notification is perceived by our mind as a reward. With the effect of dopamine, our screen time gradually increases and our mind continues to work without ever having a chance to rest. Because of this reward mechanism, it is very difficult to fight our mental fatigue.
**Why do we feel guilty when we try to rest?**
The addiction that dopamine creates in our brains is not the only reason to fight mental fatigue. Today's perception of toxic productivity also complicates things. In a world where constantly producing, reading, working and creating a surplus value, doing nothing is equated with inadequacy, inadequacy and even failure.
When we do nothing, the message that we are actually doing something wrong and incomplete is repeated so persistently that after a while we begin to believe that it is true. And in the end, we do not enjoy standing or lying down and resting.
**Why is it important to do nothing?**
How surprised would you be if I told you that doing nothing is all too important for learning, making decisions, and solving problems? You didn't misread. Our minds need to do nothing to digest what they have learned, make sound decisions, solve difficult problems, and develop certain skills. This is exactly why we find solutions to our problems in the shower, find the most creative ideas while looking at the ceiling, and reinforce what we have learned while sleeping.
This event is basically about a process called “diffused mode of thinking”. When we focus on a job or look at the notifications on our phone, our minds continue to actively process the incoming data. In this process, where our attention is focused on data processing, our mind actually closes itself to all information coming from outside. Later, when our mind stops actively focusing and wanders randomly, it goes out of focused thinking mode and goes into diffuse thinking mode. And at the same time, it increases our likelihood of problem-solving skills, creativity, and seeing the big picture. In other words, during the processes where we feel guilty for not doing anything, our minds both rest and automatically switch to a mode that is very useful for us.
**How to combat mental fatigue?**
Now you have learned the importance of resting your mind without doing anything. Let's see what you can easily do to combat mental fatigue...
Put the phone in do not disturb mode. Turn it off for a few hours if possible. Spending time away from digital devices is the best way to relax your mind nowadays.
Go to the park, the seaside or a green area and watch the nature. Look at the colors around you, feel the coolness or warmth of the air. Take care of street animals, if any.
Take a warm shower. Let the noise in your mind flow with the warm water. Do not rush to get ready after the shower. Don't start planning the rest of the day in your head. Never look at technological devices.
Try guided meditation or do breathing exercises. Remember, the goal here is to completely free our minds. Our mind will choose the way it is used to and start thinking about something. When you notice, gently direct your mind to your breath.
Try keeping a diary. Without a goal, a direction, a rule, write what comes to your mind for pages. Let your mind dump its rubbish on paper.
Have a good sleep in a quiet environment. If you can't sleep, don't answer the phone. If you want, take a relaxing tea bath for your eyes or a refreshing mask for your face. Turn on soothing music and just lie in bed.
Get a hobby that doesn't involve looking at the screen and doesn't require much effort. Knit, cook, paint or calligraphy just for relaxation.
Make sure you give your body the value it deserves. Drink enough water and make sure you eat a healthy diet.
Don't be too hard on yourself and create rest breaks for your mind. Remember that a 20-minute break in the middle of the day will positively affect the rest of the day.
And finally, stop being a perfectionist. Treat yourself with self-compassion and be compassionate.
What is the meaning of the difficulties we face in life?
Which of us wouldn't? A better home, a better job, a better income, a more fulfilling life…
Yes, life can be a beautiful journey at times and a difficult journey at other times. We fall like a little child, we stumble, we get up again, sometimes we fall again. So why?
First of all, let's remember that life progresses in line with a broad evolutionary plan. Because only when we begin to see life as a field of evolution can we make sense of the difficulties we experience. Very few things happen “by chance” in this world. Many of the hardships and pains you go through are "created" by your own soul and higher self in order to master the lessons your soul chose before it came into the world. Not only does it create, it also brings "catalyst" people into your life who will teach you these lessons in the most sublime way. All of this happens in your life as a result of the spiritual contracts you make.
The truth is that you always have a choice. All contracts you make are just “potentials” until they are accepted by all parties involved. This is where the Free Will Law comes into play. So how?
“In our experience of life on Earth, we often see situations from a very limited perspective. That's why it's often very difficult for us to stop and change our perspective when things start to go wrong. Too often we try to figure out “what” we did wrong, we get so hung up on it that we never stop to think that what we see as a disaster is actually just the right and appropriate thing to happen at that moment. The recent loss of our job, the recent breakdown of our marriage, or even the loss of a loved one to a terrible illness or accident… Any of these events—all of them, indeed—is part of our plan. They were created to teach us an important lesson, to steer us in a different direction, even to shake us up and find our passion.”
If you want to make your life easier, you have to learn the lessons of your difficulties and move forward.
How does getting rid of the brakes in our minds affect our lives?
A complete idea comes to his mind, and then an inner voice is heard that he will not be able to do it. Or you try to dream, your previous failures are set up in the corner of your mind. And you slowly give up the thoughts that carry you to the good. You make do with the existing in your current life. This restraining approach permeates every aspect of his life without realizing it.
Although it is scary to wander outside the comfort zone when starting a new job, the key point here is to follow our thoughts and initiatives to the end. Find areas where you can let go of control of your behavior to get rid of the restraining thoughts that are limiting you. For example, no one can tell you how to scream or how to fall while bungee jumping. At such moments, the mind is stripped of its normal thought patterns, and thoughts that we have not experienced before flow into our minds. Braking thoughts disappear. You find yourself feeling free and strong like never before. This causes you to let go of old thought patterns and make room for new ways of thinking.
Realizing that the thoughts that limit us are not actually the reality of the "now" introduces us to the fact that every moment is a new opportunity. Our faith in ourselves is renewed and we can find the strength to start over. This way of thinking, which helps us to have high self-confidence, is actually one of the most important results of getting rid of these brakes.
You can easily attract your wishes into your life and stay in the moment. In every aspect of your life… Work, private life, health and money… You can easily attract everything you desire into your life, with your mind and effort, freed from restrictive thoughts…
While all these changes are taking place, the point that should not be forgotten is this: No change happens all at once. You need both a little courage and a little time in order for the new thought patterns formed over time to be effective in the decisions you will make. New thoughts are like getting used to the rooms of a house you have just moved into… At first, you find it strange, but then you enjoy a new life…
Discover your emotions in your sleep
Our emotions are very important both within the dream and when we wake up. They are our important assistants in the journey of awareness. It contains clues about how we feel about others, as well as about ourselves. The emotions we feel in our dreams may be more intense or different than in daily life. When we sleep, we communicate more easily with our spiritual side, as we are more free and allow our emotions because there is no ego, fear, anxiety.
Therefore, trying to understand emotions may be easier than analyzing symbols during the healing process. It is also important to find the connections of the people we see in our dreams with our emotions. The emotions it evokes in real life enable us to understand the root causes of the events we constantly experience, which we need to solve about ourselves. Likewise, when we look at the memories of the symbols we see in our dreams, remembering what we felt allows us to progress.
In dreams, our emotions are bold. Dreams in which we wake up in fear draw attention to parts of ourselves that are unresolved, unenlightened, perhaps not currently acknowledged. If we wake up terrified, frightened, we must pay attention to the part of us that we resist not understanding. Similarly, dreaming of situations that we do not want to happen, that we are afraid of, tells that the emotions underlying our fears should be resolved.
The sacred symbols we see in dreams are also the signs of the beliefs that our emotions are attached to. The things we consider sacred describe our instinctive reactions in our dreams without realizing it. Accepting that we should be in harmony with other people around us, acting with the society at the points where we need to improve ourselves, accepting to be a member of the society to which we are connected. draws attention to her feelings.
If you repeat the sentence "I am valuable" before going to sleep, your subconscious will repeat this sentence until you wake up, and you will find clues in your dreams about the way you will follow to improve your sense of worthiness.
See you in my next article, while I wish you dreams with lots of awareness…
Everyone you meet grapples with challenges you are unaware of
I first read it on a sticker affixed to a mirror and was impressed: “Be kind, because everyone you meet is dealing with challenges you may not realize.” How true it was, and how much compassion and awareness it contained. Right in the middle of the frame in the mirror is my own title, with its troubles, troubles, dreams, hopes, joy and sadness, and this article, which I later learned was Plato's word in the lower right corner. I remember looking at myself and an article for a long time, smiling.
Don't you think there's a lot going on inside and outside right now? Even if you are doing your favorite and most enjoyable things, meeting with your favorite people, detoxing yourself by watching the news, is your first agenda based on worry, fear, and sometimes complaints due to the known epidemic?
The way we handle life, the way we live, and our reactions in difficult times are different for each of us. While some of us overcome the processes by laughing, pretending that there is no problem with the outside world, and brewing it inside, some of us go to bed with trouble from the first second to the last.
In my personal yoga practice for a while, for health reasons, I had to slow down, be gentle, and even give up many poses in which I had progressed - according to whom, according to what? - and return to the starting poses. There were two issues at once; both are more than enough to hurt me. One was in an area where I thought I was getting stronger, obviously because I tired myself out more often than I could handle. My body was nothing like my mind, thankfully, and gave the necessary warning to stop immediately, and as soon as I received this precious signal, I stopped.
In fact, we are all as strong as we are in the subject that hurts and wears us down the most.
The other point was that a situation that I had been interested in awareness for many years, I took care of myself in every way, I went through research and examinations, but my awareness alone was not enough for diagnosis and treatment had now reached a point where it could be diagnosed in an irrefutable way for physicians.
Even in matters that we seem to be in a strong communication with within ourselves and with much awareness, we are sometimes strong to the extent that the external conditions with which we communicate the most are strong.
If we bring our conversation to the dimension of relations between people who will turn from the inside out, the epidemic, which blockaded all of our lives, reached 27 people on December 31, shortly after it was first seen on December 12 in Wuhan Province of China. Just 2 days after the Wuhan province announced on January 11 that the virus had turned into an epidemic, the virus was detected in a country outside of China. The continuation is as you all know and experience.
If I were to start gathering what I wanted to share today from my own health, other parts of my body that have become stronger or have reached a certain flexibility did not help me to continue while I had the pain in my chest, it could not be. I was as free as the pain in my chest, as mobile as that pain allowed.
My self-awareness and my follow-up alone had a benefit, up to a point. I was able to protect myself as much as I had the knowledge and ideas predicted by the physicians I was in contact with. The world was able to protect itself as long as China and the Chinese people could detect and prevent the issue. And again, we will be safe, healthy and refreshed as much as we can be healthy, thanks to the discovery of vaccine and treatment by one or another, the power of self-sacrificing and veteran healthcare professionals.
That's why we have to develop together. Of course, I am aware that what I am talking about is not easy at all. Regardless of the subject you are interested in, you may feel like a person who has been wronged and wasted when you see those who do not show as much attention as you do about the epidemic or a personal issue, who do not understand the seriousness of the situation, and who make the situation worse. You may have anger towards those people who create these and similar situations. Allowing these -in fact- healthy feelings, seeing and noticing the existence of anger if it exists, but not turning it into violence, accepting its existence without resisting it, allowing it to transform in its own time without being caught in its swirl can be one of the best choices.
If we are to be successful at the end of the day, our intention is to strengthen our weakest link, internally and externally. Fernando Pessoa completed Plato's sentence that deeply affected me and I'm sure many of you who have read it or have read it before, as follows: "Don't make fun of anyone, never humiliate anyone, don't do this even in the farthest corner of your heart. Human life is too sad and serious to be ridiculed!”
My belief and invitation is that; the starting mind we need. The curiosity for those firsts, the level of understanding and support before the experiences. The state of being able to accept the possibility of going back to the beginning, if necessary, before life forces us to start over.
We can only do this together. With an awareness and compassionate attitude towards everyone and everything that we can reach, and as non-judgmental and friendly as possible to the areas and people that challenge us.
Maybe you have been following my articles for a while, maybe we met for the first time today. If you have a curiosity and enthusiasm about the possibility that this non-judgmental and friendly attitude can easily rise from within you without any coercion, then I have prepared 6 weeks for you to support those who want to understand your feelings about life more deeply, maintain this state of alertness, live this experience and protect it. I would like to announce that my program, which will continue, “Recognize Your Treasure” has started once again.
In the content of the program, I have blended my professional knowledge in the fields of yoga, meditation and mindfulness to present you with methods and information that are known and applied all over the world, which have contributed to making a difference in my own life, and that have followed thousands of people with their positive results.
Life is very precious to all of us. My aim is to contribute to the fact that more of us regularly contact the richness of their living spaces and live more through these tools and information that make a big difference in my life.
With your permission, I would like to bring to your attention a few comments from those who have just finished and completed the program I realized before that.
Do you force yourself to make decisions?
While the endless running of the city causes us to feel everything even more intense, we try to exist by rushing and forcing, and we get tired of fighting. However, life is not a war, but yes we perceive it as a war! Doesn't every spring come when its time comes? Despite a cold, chaotic winter. Don't the flowers that bloom every spring silently whisper to us that everything has its time?
I guess that's why nature always loses its ability to be inspiring despite us. Whenever things start to get mixed up in my life, whenever I feel like I'm stuck in a dead end, I go to a tree. It reminds me of what I forgot and gives me strength in silence. I realize again that the power of a seed to become a tree comes not from defying the wind, but from that confidence in its own essence.
When I look at a tree, it is my inspiration to see how it is nourished by the huge relationship it has established with its roots and how it is connected with life in a secure manner despite everything. They are the quietest friends of my uncertain times and broken heart. Whenever I am undecided about something, I go to the trees. Sometimes for hours, I silently watch them flutter their leaves against the wind. Sure, an apple doesn't fall on my head in one viewing, but it calms my indecisive heart.
What do you call the pursuit of the state of being able to do what a tree does in the ordinary, with trainings, therapies and studies? Don't get me wrong, the intention is very nice, but the more we run, the more we get lost.
Why am I writing these? There is something very clear that I have seen around my students and around me lately: Indecision. What always happens when you try to make decisions by pushing: Life gets messy. When I look back, I see more clearly that the times when I tried to make decisions by pushing, regardless of whether it was a relationship, a job or a subject, were the times when I created a whirlpool for myself. Seeing every finish line doesn't mean you can get across it gracefully. You can't make the decision to end a job or a relationship that isn't good for you by force. You can't make decisions with "maybe", "tomorrow" or by asking your friends. Making a decision on something is like mixing different liquid mixtures in a jar to me. If you give it enough time and wait, you'll see the mixture decompose on its own. That's just how decision-making is!
For a very long time in my life, I used to answer the simplest questions asked of me, "I don't know". My mom always said, "You never know who to love". Think about my situation… I mean, I was undecided for a very long time in my life. Over time, by starting to work on myself and asking myself, I learned to hear the voice coming from within and to turn on that voice, I am learning. Yes, learning never ends! I used to wait for a sign whenever I was on the eve of a decision, then misinterpret them and get even more confused. However, every breath I take is a huge sign in itself!
Therefore, I can clearly say that the decision is not made, the decision appears. Decision does not emerge from a cramped place. The decision is not made in haste. The decision is not made by considering the positive or negative effects of the situation. Decision is like the flow of raindrops. Raindrops have no chance of flowing otherwise. Trying to change the flow of raindrops is a pointless endeavor. In fact, all life is based on learning that flow. Decision is like seeing land in the middle of the sea, literally all of a sudden. It comes out in an instant. And it transforms you! Nothing will ever be the same, that's what all crossroads are about!
Whenever that snow appears, I sit next to him in silence, doing nothing, even if it sometimes compresses me and sometimes comforts me. Because I know that a path that will change me from head to toe is right there, and the decision is already out of whack. So sometimes I sit for hours, sometimes for days.
When I'm ready, I tell my decision to a small number of people I trust. Or there are times when I say it silently to my own heart. I say: "I'm going to that land!"
That black can be anything. A job, a man, a situation, anything…
I do this every time I make the decision to hit the road. It's a game I play with life to walk the path. In this way, my deepest intention is to see if my decision is compatible with life.
Because even though we cannot grasp it while we are living, “decisions compatible with life” are always there, even before that land appears. We do not make decisions because the land appears, only the clouds recede to reveal the land. And we say, "Look, there's land there!"
In the hope that those who are on the eve of the decision will find their own way without rushing…
Don't be afraid to go with the flow
The sky is clear and slightly windy. And I'm a whale that still thinks it's in the water but is floating in the air. I float calmly, with a sense of emptiness. I'm a little worried in case I come into contact with the air, I don't know that my body is already breathing there beyond contact...
But I'm swimming like I'm in water...
Such a situation is in the air. are we here? What do we mean by this place?
I'm very sorry (!) but now we are out of our comfort zones, whether we were removed by decision or forced and we are out... We are not in our cocoon.
Like a newborn baby's amazement, not knowing what to hold on to, unable to see in front of your eyes, in this place where you don't even know the language... We are forced to return to our silent cognition, that is, to what we know "from eternity".
To our inner senses.
This place, where the rules and learned things are useless, is like a river flowing under the guidance of you. Or whatever you say, because that world is your world. River to me, forest to you...
So it's only natural to feel a little vacant, a little lazy, a little resistant, and feeling like you're being tossed around. You are being tossed! You are moving towards new states, new feelings. You want to keep the old, the "happiness" you know, the "peace" feeling that you are used to. You want the troubles you used to get used to… New troubles, here are the troubles of the “things” you've been dreaming about until now. You cannot accept. Because you are in that unfamiliar place and you are "ignorant" here.
The ignorance here is ignorance to be celebrated, now you are outside, another layer outside!
Your ignorance is your freedom.
Freedom, until now, was something else when looking from the place you used to. Because you adopted the "freedom" understanding of the frequency you were used to. However, freedom is what you call "swaying" where you don't know for now.
Being in the flow is a work of courage, a work of letting go. It is letting something carry you. Can you give permission?
can you quit
Can you say “ok” to everything that changes?
You tried this. And now you are here.
At the point of celebrating his ignorance, at the point of honoring his ignorance and realizing his "student".
This time, life turns its wheels for the liberated "you", on an upper floor, in this unknown land.
Like a whale floating in the air, gliding and learning.
Welcome beautiful baby!
@Self-Self
