I failed

It has been already 7 days since I started my "diet". I cannot remember how many times I have attempted to go on a diet during these past years that I was unemployed. I remember during the last quarter of 2019 when I was still in a different photo blogging platform, I would take pictures of what I eat in a day and blog about it. It was also my way of monitoring what I had. I did not accompany it with exercise but I lost a few pounds. I think I lasted more than 100 days and then stopped.

I was not as determined as how I was when I lost some weight back in 2016. And now I have started with another diet journey again. It is not as strict as how it was 6 years ago but I planned to refrain myself from eating carbohydrates  like rice, bread, pasta and bread. I focused on meat and vegetables. At first I was doing really great. I even moved a lot more and achieved 10,000 steps. I was really happy when I first achieved it because my smartwatch vibrated and when I checked it, there was a photo of the 10,000 steps that I have achieved.

The next day, I still walked and did some light jog in our garage. There was an increase in my distance as day passes by. My mom and I were like contesting with how many steps we make each day. LOL.Yes, even my mom is moving a lot more when February started. We rrally wanted to lose some weight and shake those fats away.

Actually, @Firenze's cousin, kytort (on noise.cash), and I were talking about getting fit early this year. She had started last January and would have cheat days on weekends but I told her that I was going to start soon. And that soon was this February. They say that the  first step is really the hardest. True enough. My mind was so determined but my body wasn't yet I still pushed myself especially in completing the 10,000 steps. I even monitored what I ate each day on my Notes app. I wanted to try again a calorie deficit diet even if I do not know how many calories it have in each food that I ate. Before it was easy because I was only limited to boiled chicken, eggs and vegetables. No sugar, no salt, no everything for 2 months. During those 2 months, there were days that I cheated however, I would double my exercise the following day for eating such foods.

I believe that my mindset then and now are totally different. I have already made my first step but last weekend I was craving for burgerrs and I took a step back. No, I didn't eat burgers but I cheated by eating french fries and instant noodles. Yikes. To not feel so guilty, I still exercise during those days. Something telling me that what I am doing was not right. I wanted to lose weight for health reasons most especially because of my irregular monthly visits. But why is it that I am craving for a lot of good foods ever since I started my diet?

Last weekend, I was craving for burgers and now I am craving for pizza. I almost ordered a pizza this afternoon and good thing that my mind reminded me that I still have some unpaid bills so I better stop what I was doing. But I cannot promise mself that I would not eat pizzaon Valentine's day and pasta on my dad's birthday. Was I wrong to start my diet this month?

Prior to that, I have also eaten rice during my second, fourth, sixth day and also today. I know it was red rice but still it was still rice. Why? Because our viand during those days were my favorite. Longganisa and pork sinigang. Yummy! But I see to it that I must only eat a cup of rice. I decided to gradually lessen my food intake so that I can prepare myself if I will start with my strict diet. Do you think I am doing the right thing or should I just start with strict diet? But I still have to buy lots of chicken breast for that and vegetable. Right now, I have already stock a kilo of chicken breast in our freezer. I do not know how long will a last since the last time that I had strict diet, my mom and my dad also did that though my dad only lasted for a week. LOL. Also, my other problem is that I forgot to weigh myself during my first day. I guess I really am not motivated and committed in losing weight yet.

I may have failed in my diet again but I know that there will come a time that I will be motivated, dedicated and committed towards achieving that fitness goal. If you have also failed whether in life, school, work, business or whatever, just keep om trying. Stay focus, motivate yourself and don't be afraid to take the first step even if it is baby steps. A step is still a progress as long as you keep moving forward and not backwards just like what I did. Go on, move forward and I'll catch up with you.

February 07, 2022

P.S. lead image is a photo of my shoes when I started to exercise a couple years ago.