Last night, I got a call from my work and they were giving me until tomorrow to decide whether to come back or choose to be retrenched. I am torn because most part of me don't want to be away with my daughter anymore but what should I do I need to work also for her future. I talked to my husband about it and he said we should endure it for now because he needs help in sustaining our finances. But the thought of leaving and saying goodbye to my daughter saddens me and I could not help but cry. During our phone call my daughter came out and saw me crying, she hugged me tight from behind without saying any word. Oh, that breaks my heart even more.
I need to cut our conversation and wash my face. When I came out from the washroom my daughter was waiting for me outside, looking so curious why I cried. I said, I just cleaned my eyes baby but she didn't believe me. She said, before you came inside you were crying, why are you crying mommy? I kept holding my tears from falling again so I just carried her and hugged her tight.
But when she was sleeping, her hands are holding mine and I could not help myself but be emotional. I am no longer used to being away from her, not seeing her for a long time. I don't know how to tell her that Mommy is leaving for work without shedding any tear. That is my number one weakness. I fell asleep with a heavy heart but I asked God for enlightenment, grace and wisdom. This matter is not an easy task to decide on, I need his guidance.
This morning, I tried to be more casual and do my regular routine. When I was teaching the kids, my mother approached us and told my aunt that maybe next week she will be the new teacher as my work already requires me to go back. My daughter of course heard it loud and clear and she immediately looked at me and said Mommy please just stay here pleaseeee! And my tears started to fall again. I don't know what to answer, it really hurts big time.
When we were having lunch, my daughter said mommy who will take care of your plants when you go back to work? I said, you will of course. She answered, no I could not do that. Nanang (grandma) would not let me water the plants because I might get colds. So I will just ask Nanang to take care of my plants then, I said while smiling. Then again I heard her say, mommy please don't leave. I will cry every night because I will miss you. Oh my heart again! How can I not cry with her words.
Come evening, I was telling my family that I am hesitant to leave and that I am still hoping that my previous application to a BPO Company will push through since they already informed me that I passed their assessment and I will just need to wait for the job offer. But the promised date of the job offer was already a week past due. Then my sister said, why not call the HR and ask them your status so you can decide whether to go back or not. Without thinking twice, I excused myself and called HR. I told them that I need to clarify my status so i could decide whether to return to work ot need to let go and be part of their company. Luckily, the HR personnel said that it's true I passed the evaluation and that I just need to wait for this week until next week for the offer.
I felt relieved, elated and blessed after hearing his words. Now my decision is clear, my problem is solved. I don't need to cry anymore, my heart is filled with joy. I immediately called my boss and told him that I could no longer go back and to include my name in the list of employees for retrenchment. I will receive higher with this option than when I resign. I also told my husband about it and my decision to stay home and wait for my new job offer and he agrees with it.
All along I thought my daughter was busy playing with her cousin then I heard her say, mommy you're not leaving anymore with all smiles in her face and I embraced so tight telling yes baby mommy will not leave anymore just be a good girl always. And she said, yes mommy, yes mommy! No more tears, just pure joy!
Oh my good Lord, thank you for the answered prayer. You know how grateful I am right now. Thank you so so much! I return the glory and praise to You.
Never underestimate the power of prayer because God listens, God answers and He cares.
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Thanks for reading and keep inspiring, keep smiling.
God bless us all!
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Congrats, sis, for your new job.. Question tho, malayo ba yung previous job mo?
BTW, relate ako sa ganyan tho wala akong anak.. Yung nephew ko before na iiyak ng super just to make me stay at wag mag work kahit isang bahay lang naman kami at babalik lang naman ako kinahapunan.. and even my furbaby, Kiah, would bark so hard when seeing me leaving, yun aalis ako with a heavy heart.. Grabe yung struggle ko nung iniwan ko siya sa leyte at every bakasyon ko ang sarap ng feeling pero pag time to get back to cebu, ayun parang gusto ko managinip na kararating ko lang sa leyte.. kaya I quit my job in Cebu and decided to stay here kasi d ko kaya iwanan isya..