Psychologists associate jealousy with low self-esteem and describe it as paranoid distrust of others or a partner. Nothing romantic then. Is jealousy really just a mental disorder, or is there also some normal human passion in it that can spice up a love affair?
Jealousy is hell for every wounded lover, a disease of the soul that drives a person to madness ... We have all already felt it and we have all already heard songs in which the poet complains about this “green” pain of the heart. Psychologists, in contrast to poets, analyze in great detail the thoughts, emotions, and types of behavior that underlie jealousy, and confirm their findings about the nature of this powerful and destructive emotion through numerous studies.
Jealousy is a response to a perceived threat (actual or imagined) that is supposed to jeopardize a relationship we highly value or its quality. To feel jealous, we must first have feelings for the other person. If we don’t care about anything else, we also don’t care what he does, so jealousy doesn’t arise. Jealousy arises because we fear that our needs, one way or another, will not be met. Experts say that when jealousy sets in, something in us calls for help.
Different types
Jealous emotions occur in different types of relationships between children, when, for example, a child thinks that another child receives more attention, at work due to different achievements, between friends ... The most prevalent form of jealousy occurs in intimate relationships.Although jealousy encompassing varying degrees of sadness, anger, and anxiety, many psychologists define it on a general level as the distress or restlessness a person experiences based on a partner’s actual or imagined relationship with another person. Experts believe that jealousy has a sense of fear at its core. It is most often expressed as the fear of losing a loved one, or as distrust in the loyalty of a loved one, such as husband, wife, lover ... These are real or imagined fears: fear of abandonment, fear of losing love, fear of humiliation in a relationship , fear of embarrassment in the community, and jealousy can also project unresolved issues from past relationships, low self-esteem, untreated past afflictions, revenge, or a desire for revenge that is spiraling out of control or misdirected toward the other. A person is jealous when he feels an unpleasant suspicion that his partner is unfaithful to him.
She assumes there is a rival, and at the same time feels fear of losing a partner. The object of jealousy can be anything that distracts the partner's attention, time or money from the jealous person. It can be a hobby, a sport, a friend (s), a pet, a job, a family or children. The list goes on and on, and tangible and intangible things can be found on it. Jealousy is not the least bit fun and even in its mildest form it triggers feelings of anger and frustration, which can also be accompanied by purely physical symptoms: rapid heartbeat, pressure in the head, abdominal pain ...
Jealousy is fueled by excessive or misused imagination. Creating scenarios about what a partner thinks or does is the best way to torture yourself. Such engagement with a partner can become so intense that we talk about compulsive thoughts when a man can hardly push away jealous thoughts and think about something else.
No matter what kind of jealousy are we facing, it is not good at all. It can bring us only bad feeling, negative energy, and that kind of energy will bring only bad things to our lives.