An open letter

To the guy who never treated me as his priority,

I love you and I really do. I have been adjusting for you all the time. I keep waiting for you to make a move, to talk with me again like the old days, like the old times like there is no other surrounding us. I would like to feel how special I am to you... again. How you love me like you really do. I have been waiting for you to ask about me, to ask about how was my day, to be more interested to me day by day.

I understand how busy you are, and maybe it is hard for you to find a little extra time for me. I'm sorry for demanding so much. But, I could not help to look for you, to linger from your sweet cheesy and corny words.

I missed those times when we first talked on chat, when we teased each other like we're more than friends, when we talk until midnight like there is no tomorrow, when we laugh and cuss like crazy. I miss those nights when I hug my pillow so tight because of your cheesiness. I miss those nights when I almost fell asleep with a smile on my face, when I will have to wish more time to talk with you.

I might be needy in your eyes or irritating. Or maybe you will think that I'm really obsessed with you. I'm sorry for seeking for your attention, for asking for your free time, for being too clingy sometimes, for always looking for you, and for teasing you most of the time. I'm sorry for missing you and loving you this much.

It is really hard for me to adjust everyday. To wait until you noticed me again. To always open my account just to check if you are online. I never even have your phone number because I was afraid you'll turn me down. To always be the one to chat you first.

I'm sick for those times when you will only be sweet or will only appreciate me for two nights just because you have made a mistake and after that you will disappear again.

I need you. I need someone to share my day with. I need someone to talk about my problems with. I'm sorry if sometimes I might look immature or childish with my actions, with the way I act just to make you jealous. But, I swear to you that you are the only one. And I couldn't find a way for you to notice me, and maybe that's the reason why I made up those. Because I want some attention from you.

I hope someday you will realize how worthy and valuable I am. I hope someday you will realize that you should have spend more time with me. Because sometimes when I am alone, I somehow feel tired with what is going on around me. And, I hope giving up won't cross my mind. So that, there will still a girl who will hold onto you despite of not giving her the love she deserve.

From the girl seeking for you... always

End.