Loneliness

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Avatar for aniruddhasen
4 years ago

We all at some point of time in our lives felt lonely. Even the most extrovert and talkative person will have a phase of loneliness in his life. When we move to a new city or a new part of a city or even a new job we may have the feeling of loneliness. In the last few decades it has become even more aggravated among us and millions are having this feeling of chronic occasional loneliness.

In a survey in UK it was found that between the age group of 18-34 about 60 percent felt the occasional loneliness; in America about 46 percent of the population have regular bouts of loneliness.

Even though we are now the most connected than any other time of history but still an increasing number of people are feeling lonely. We can feel comfortable being alone and hate being surrounded by others. If you feel lonely then you are lonely, it is a pure subjective and personal experience. The stereotype belief is that loneliness happens to introverts and those who don’t know how to talk to others. You may have social skills but still you may lack social connections. Your money, fame, power cannot protect you from loneliness because it is ingrained in your biology.

So what is this loneliness?

Loneliness is a bodily function just like your hunger. When you are hungry you will pay attention to it. Similarly loneliness makes you more aware of your social needs. Your social needs are the outcome of millions of years of evolution as it decided whether you will survive or not. The process of natural selection favored those ancestors who formed connection with each other. Our brains grew with each passing generation to recognize how others felt and thought and form social bonds. This way being social became a part of our biology.

The prehistoric you were born into groups of people usually between 50 to 150 and they generally stayed together for whole life. It was basically impossible to stay alone and stay safe from predators, get enough calories and care for offspring. Staying together meant survival, so it became crucial to be able to get along with others. Being eaten by a lion was not as big a threat as being excluded from a group for not being able to get social. So the body created the social pain of exclusion and rejection. It was like an early warning to change your behavior and adapt to a group. That’s why loneliness is painful. This system was working well until the new modern era came.

Image: Pixabay.com

The modern era

The modern loneliness era started in the 18th century. Now the western culture started shifting towards individualism from the collectivism of the middle ages. In the industrial revolution people shifted from farming to work as workers in factories. The focus shifted from communities which had evolved for thousands of years to city life. As we got more modern with time this trend also became stronger. Today we move across cities and countries and even continents for job, education and better prospects and leave behind our social bonds.

Now we meet fewer known people face to face. The number of close friends has dropped. Now we are busy with our jobs, education, kids and entertainment that we don’t have much time to interact. And then one day we start feeling isolated, but the yearning is there. But like you others have also moved on and you wind hard to find close connections. While we feel great with our modern lifestyle bur our minds are fundamentally still thousands of years old.

How loneliness affects us?

The stress that comes with loneliness is an unhealthy thing. It makes us age faster, the immune system weaker; it makes the cancer deadlier and the Alzheimer’s advance faster. The troubling thing about loneliness is that once it becomes chronic then it can be a self sustaining thing. Physical pain and social pain behave the same way in our brain- it feels like a threat. So social pain triggers a defensive mechanism and goes in a self preservation mode. It will perceive everything as a threat and danger. Thought the brain gets more alert to social signals but it fails to interpret it correctly. The part of the brain that analyses others gives wrong signals. It makes you assume that others have the worst intention towards you. So you become more self-centered to protect yourself.

Image: pixabay.com

What to do?

If you think that you are feeling loneliness then the first thing to do would be to understand the vicious cycle you are in. The chronology is usually like this; the initial feeling of isolation will lead you to a feeling of sadness and tension. This will make you focus your attention to only negative interactions with other people. Now your thoughts about yourself and others turn negative. You will start avoiding social interaction which will only increase your isolation. With time it will only get more severe. You will start sitting away from others, be silent, stop or delay answering calls from your friends, avoid going to places where you are invited. Words about your behavior spreads and more people start avoiding you.

Accept you have a problem of loneliness and it is normal for everyone to feel lonely. Check what you are focusing on and identify if you are concentrating on the negative ones. Think impartially whether the interaction was actually negative or you are giving it a negative color. Assume that the world is not against you. If you are not able to decide then do take professional help. It surely deserves more attention.

Humans have created an amazing world but this is not a substitute to the biological needs of connection which have evolved through thousands of years.

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Avatar for aniruddhasen
4 years ago

Comments

Great dear I have subscribed you

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4 years ago

Loneliness. I don't want ro feel that again. It making me crazy. It's hard spexialky if you have no one.

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4 years ago

No one want be in alone. If any one want, she is exceptional. Loneliness is so worse as death. Who experience this disgusting experience she know more than any other. I never want be live alone. It so worse than die.

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4 years ago

Loneliness can cause serious mental health issues and depression.

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4 years ago

You're right. We shouldn't be alone

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4 years ago

Loneliness is like die for human this is so hard situation of any person so always try be happy ... Nice article

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4 years ago

i love loneliness. It is really abnormal but i love to be lonely

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4 years ago

People usually comprehend alone with loneliness, but those two words are actually different. Loneliness is a sad feeling people get from being alone because they haven’t learned how to enjoy their own company; However, being alone, is simply defines the condition of actually not having someone around..i am an introvert i always prefer to be alone.. Just like @Telesfor said, it stressed me out if i am being surrounded by many people.. If i am alone, I can concentrate more. It clears my mind more... It just actually depends on the person on how they will handle loneliness...

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4 years ago

You are right, loneliness coupled with any emotional turmoil is bad.

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4 years ago

Thank you@Jane

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4 years ago

Though we are now the most connected than any other time of history but still an increasing number of people are feeling lonely

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4 years ago

The worst loneliness is that of the mind.

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4 years ago

Thank you Telesfor sir.

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4 years ago

I am probably different, but I like being alone. It is important to me to have some people around me, but I still like to be alone. Too many people around me stress me. Conversations with most people bore me. I like to be alone, but I do not feel lonely. I can be alone for days and not talk to anyone. In the time of internet I use social media like member or read.cash, but in the past I just read.

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4 years ago

I wanted to ask with 15 Nov coming, what to do with BCH?

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4 years ago

Here you will see what will happen

https://cash.coin.dance/

If ABC will be mined after the date, there will be a new coin (BAB or similar). Price unknown. BCH price is hardly influenced. But I think that ABC chain will break or will not be mined at all and the new coin will not be created.

ABC has now even created a version of the software that follows the BCHN chain. I don't know if anyone will use it at all and if coin dance will even present it.

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4 years ago

That's soothing to the ear.

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4 years ago

That is why I think that after the update, if IFP fails, which will definitely be the case, the BCH price should rise.

https://read.cash/@noise/if-the-ifp-in-bitcoin-cash-activates-it-suggests-that-cryptocurrencies-are-doomed-to-centralization-86ff8006

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4 years ago

Yes that will be a big for morale boost for BCH and price should follow also.

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4 years ago

Here you can read the statement of Binance https://www.binance.com/en/support/announcement/ade106fd65974a9982fc5a32e063d0b0

I suppose the scenario B will occur.

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4 years ago

In the scene A - will the valuation of BCH go down when new coin comes up? In scene B- I think the valuation will not be affected? can I do something to protect myself from loss of valuation?

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4 years ago

Prices are constantly changing and there is nothing we can do about it.

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4 years ago

I was thinking about any drastic change, like it goes down 50-60 percent from the average range it moves. Though I hope there will not be such a drastic fall.

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4 years ago

Unfortunately, the market does not function rationally, but emotionally. If the market were to function rationally, BCH would have a much higher price than BTC, because BCH is technically much better and is constantly being improved. As on November 15th most probably nobody or almost nobody will mine the new chain, there is hardly any emotion and the price will not be influenced by the event. This was different at BSV Split.

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4 years ago

No, there will certainly be no such change. It will have little effect, perhaps the price will even rise.

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4 years ago

But one of the largest Exchanges will not trade the new coin, many others probably won't either.

https://twitter.com/CoinbaseSupport/status/1324156281389658113?s=19

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4 years ago

Maybe there will be a new coin Bitcoin ABC. Then there will be a possibility to use it with the BCH Seed. But this coin will probably be worth very little.

https://blockchair.com/bitcoin-cash

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4 years ago

Nothing, everything remains as it is. You have to update your wallet if you haven't done so yet. The most important thing is that you know your seed or your private key, so you can always access your BCH.

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4 years ago

what do you mean by update the wallet?

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4 years ago

The software must be up-to-date. For example, if you use Bitcoin.com Wallet on Android, updating is automatic. Current version is 6.8.6

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4 years ago

At present I am holding it in my local country wallet where I dont have the private key. I had written an email to atomic wallet and they informed -'In Atomic wallet, one of the BCH chains will be chosen for the further support of the coin. This decision will be made after the fork occurs. If you will have a preference for another chain, you can always import your BCH private key to the official BCH wallet and manage your coins from there. We will inform you accordingly on our plans.'

I will then shift my hard earned BCH to either bitcoin.com or this one. I have a few quantity of ether and LTC also so I needed a place to keep everything together.

I have been scanning this site for more information but the technical things were going over my head. You are the best person to fall back on in these times.

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4 years ago

I have just installed atomic wallet. It works well. It has slightly higher transaction fees than bitcoin.com wallet, but they are also very low. It is a good wallet and you can hold your BCH there. You just need to write down your private key in case atomic wallet should not work.

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4 years ago

In atomic wallet you can export your private key and seed (12 word phrase).

https://support.atomicwallet.io/article/19-how-to-view-your-private-keys-backup-phrase

That's good. You can keep your BCH there. In any case you have to write down your BCH private key or atomic seed and keep it safe.

After the fork there might be a wallet for the new coin. Maybe it will be possible to import private keys or seeds in the new wallet.

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4 years ago

I willl keep record of the private key separately. Also I will transfer my few dollars worth other coins there. That way everything will be in one place and safe

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4 years ago

I have just imported the atomic wallet seed into the electron cash wallet. I have access to the BCH from the atomic wallet and see all transactions. Everything works fine. You cannot import the atomic seed into bitcoin.com wallet because bitcoin.com uses a different derivation path. You have to import it into electron cash wallet.

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4 years ago

That means I can see my balance at both the place. But can I transact from both the place.

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4 years ago

You will see in bitcoin.com amount zero. In elekton cash you will be able to see and send full amount.

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4 years ago

Ok sir,got it.

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4 years ago

Ok, I will then do the same.

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4 years ago

Good. Do you have a PC?

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4 years ago

Yes, infact I do all the writing in PC.

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4 years ago

The electron cash version for PC has much more functionality than the Smartphone App. Here you can find very good tutorials how to use it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ8BXrzAwDQ&list=PL6P_87NPp72aMQeOiSO4Pq8u_yeOcY6K7&index=1

I have imported the atomic seed into the Android app so far, but with the PC software it will definitely work. There is only one thing you have to consider. The atomic wallet always sends the remaining money to the same Bitcoin cash address, the electronic wallet always sends it to a new one. If you send BCH with electron cash, it will most likely be invisible to atomic wallet.

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4 years ago

Ok sir, I will have to keep that in mind.

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4 years ago

If you have problems, ask me. If you have your seed (and / or) your private key, you are always on the safe side. There are several wallets where you can import your seed, but I use electron cash for PC because it is definitely the best.

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4 years ago

Sure sir, you are my problem solver.

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4 years ago

I have just seen that you can select in the electron cash app whether change addresses should be used. If you disable this, you can use atomic wallet in electron cash wallet on your smartphone at the same time. Both wallets will then see the same transactions and access the same address.

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4 years ago

That's a good thing, same thing will show in both place.

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4 years ago

I highly recommend that you keep your bch in a wallet where you know your seed (or private key). On the PC electron cash is the absolute best wallet. It is also available for Android but on Android I like bitcoin.com better. If you know your seed, you are always on the safe side. Even if your PC or smartphone breaks down. You can always reinstall the wallet, enter your seed and you have immediate access to your bch.

Read my article.

https://read.cash/@Telesfor/how-does-bitcoin-cash-wallet-work-27adaff4

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4 years ago

You 'like' to be alone but you dont feel lonely. That is the point for not feeling lonely. After my early retirement, now I also dont interact with many people, rather I avoid it until required. I also dont feel lonely being alone.

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4 years ago

For me it is enough to know that I can turn to my family members when I need them. But I do not have to turn to them. I know that someone is there. That is enough for me. I don't know what it would be like not to have a family. Maybe I would be lonely too.

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4 years ago

That is a big support to know that someone is there as a backup/ support. Those without this would surely go into depression.

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4 years ago

Very well explained dear. I appreciate it. Loneliness actually affects us deadly. Loneliness often causes people to have bad thoughts like suicide. Feel good to read your article. Keep it up

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4 years ago

Thank you for liking it. It is indeed a silent killer.

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4 years ago

You are most welcome dear 😊

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4 years ago

There are times we feel lonely and sometimes we just can't help it. But surely we'll have to break through

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4 years ago

Yes no one can escape the feeling sometime in life. How we deal with it is important.

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4 years ago

True, or fall into depression causing someone else to be sad and eventually lonely and the whole cycle continues

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4 years ago

True

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4 years ago

i dont like to be alone. Loneliness is a big but very underestimated problem in society. Individuals are supposed to be more lonely in modern times than ever before.

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4 years ago

yes you are right.

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4 years ago