Catcalling: The compliment it isn't

This article has been stuck in my drafts for months now so it will be hard to pick up where I left off. Also, the irritation I was feeling when I started writing this faded already as I had not encountered any catcallers since I mostly stay inside.

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As many of us know, catcalling is probably something that will happen when we walk by the streets with people hanging around.

The catcalls vary from a joking "angel/ganda (beautiful)" to something more disturbing. This is usually accompanied by a collection of laughters from others.

If you happen to be a brave one and confront them, the lot of them have a weird logic of "you should be happy we are complimenting you". Something that I had never understood.

Catcalls are a big part of the reason why I do not go out as much. And even if I did, I try to make sure that I wear something that is comfortable on me like jogger pants and hoodies (not that it deters the catcalls).

I am sure that I am not alone when I say that catcalls are not compliments nor do they feel good to receive. I have never met someone who is happy to share how a group of strangers shouted lewd things at them as he/she is passing by.

The times I encountered them I felt afraid

Imagine walking alone in a mostly empty street and the you passed by a group of strangers looking at you. Then, they started saying disturbing things to get your attention.

There is no one else there so they must be talking to you. What would you do?

For me, I usually just try to walk faster and that is saying something because I usually walk fast. So what walking faster is to me is kinda sprinting but not, just on the verge of it.

Sometimes it deters them as they do not want to get up from their place on the street. But most times, part of their group stood up to follow.

These guys will get extremely close for comfort, surrounding me as I try to just ignore them.

I am short, so they almost always tower over me.

The feeling of being surrounded with the cheers of their friends in the background is sickening.

But still, I try to walk away without even giving a glance in any of their direction which always seemed to piss them off.

If I had to endure an uncomfortable situation then I will make damn sure that they are irritated as much as I can make them. I refuse to be the only one who will leave the "interaction" in a bad mood.

If they have yet to stop following me, I go in the direction that I know will have more people even if it was not where I am going. They usually tend to stop following once they realized where I am walking.

There was another time when I was wearing a skirt and long sleeves when someone passing by stopped in their tracks and tried to talk to me.

"May boyfriend ka na ba?" (Do you already have a boyfriend?)

When I moved so I can go to a place with more people he followed me and continue trying to talk to me even when I had shown no interest in talking with him.

The area was not busy as it was weekend and I was around a school. The gates were locked so I could not exactly go inside.

He was getting closer and bolder because he can see that I was realizing there is no one around. But thankfully the friend I was waiting for finally came and chased away the creepy dude.

And then there are this frequent catcallers that I encounter a lot of times before the pandemic.

They are the ones that stay mostly out on our street so I had no choice but to walk there. I have since learned when they are out so I make sure to always try to not go out or go home during that time.

They are mostly annoying as when they tried to touch my arm to listen to them, I slapped the guys thar tried. I slapped him hard. And walked away.

After that they keep to just jeering but not tried to touch me again.

Of course there are more instances but I do not want to ruin a good day thinking about those times. So I will stop here.

I just don't understand

Why are there people who think catcalls are just jokes or compliments?

It is also not just done by men but also by women.

I just find it so weird that people still think catcalling others will make them fall for you or whatever it is they are trying to do. It just does not work.

Anyway, this article is just really to say I hate catcallers. I have never felt complimented when someone catcalls me. On the contrary, I felt bad and guilty for maybe wearing clothes I wanted to wear or doing my hair or something.

I don't know. But the point is I used to blame myself for getting their attention. Now I know that their actions have nothing to do with me and more to do with them.

The catcalls do not stop no matter what I am wearing even when I am wearing unflattering clothes or even if I go out without brushing my hair.

So it is not me that I should be placing pressure on. I just wish that someone who knows a catcaller can call them out when they are doing it because they are more likely to listen to the people they know than strangers.

Thank you for reading this article!

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