Have you ever wondered how someone could be so mean? How they can view others as below them and just kick them harder when they are down? Did you ever ask yourself if someone like that has been a bully since birth or did society molds them to become one?

Today I wanted to share my opinion about what goes on in a bully's mind. Just a quick disclaimer that I am in no means an expert and my opinion is not based on any scientific research nor do I have the data to back up my claims. This is an opinion formed though observations of the bully that I encountered throughout my life.

This is also not an article that will condemn someone, especially children, for what they are doing but rather this is more of a self-conversation where I share my ideas with you that maybe could help you out if your child is showing signs of being a bully and you want to understand somehow. Reading scientific researches about this topic is of course my main advice, instead of taking the word of some random person on the internet from it (yes, I am referring to myself).

Sometimes, a child bully grows up to be a kindhearted human being, who reaches out to those they bullied in their youth. But most times, they grow up to be an adult bully. In a society where being rude is praised for being real, the bullies get high off bringing someone down. The scenario is familiar. You might have even saw it first hand, like a brief flash to high school, but this time it is happening in the "real-world". You would wonder why the teachers never warn you about this.

Let us breakdown the reasons for why a child grew up to be a bully. These are the reasons that I have observed when I encounter a bully.

Environment

Children are impressionable, what they see is what they try to imitate. So if a child grows up in the company of adult bullies? Well, it is quite obvious that they will think bringing someone down is done all in good fun. They might not even realize that it is a bad thing because it is what they grew up with.

Attention

Sometimes, being a bully is only a cry for attention. This is done because they never received any acknowledgment and when they found that being a bully garners attention, well? They don't care whether it is good or bad attention. As long as someone will pay attention to them. Also, being part of the mean group feels great right? It makes you feel better than huddling in the corner, reading a book.

That might be the things that run through a bully's mind crying for attention. They might be doing this because at home, they do not receive any kind of interaction so they try to catch their parents' attention by misbehaving.

Sadness

This is related to the reason above. When one is suffering from lack of attention they become sad. As a child, it is easy to think that maybe making someone else more miserable would make them feel better. And it would work until they have to go home and experience the sadness again. This leads to a never-ending cycle.

Society

Remember when adults tell us as a child that if some guy is mean to you that means they like you?

I think it is one of the reasons why bullies ran rampant everywhere. It is because society is teaching them that being mean is the right way to act and to express themselves. They expected the world to understand where they are coming from because it is what is taught to us as children.

Society breeds a culture where bullies are praised for being brave and the bullied are punished for defending themselves when they finally snapped. This unfair system would then lead to the bullied being bullies too.

Because if society will condemn you for defending yourself, then what is the point of trying to be a good person when a bad one is rewarded?

I have listed the short list of my ideas of what goes through a bully's mind. Now, I want to share my realizations one night when I realized that I might have been a bully for someone else.

High school is a tough world for many of us. This is where we encounter a lot of people that we will disagree with, people who just seem to tick us off often, and this is the time when we go through the process of getting to know who we are as a person. Hence, drama is almost inevitable. I would like to say that I am a matured person who never had any fights with someone but that would be a lie.

As a teen, there is a need in me to fit in to some group, to find a place I belong. While the group of friends I have is not the mean group of the batch, we also engaged in activities that are immature and also riddled with being a bully, behind someone's back.

Okay, sure, you might be thinking that talking bad about someone is not bullying or it is a normal part of life. You might be right, but my point is that it should not have happened. We should not have had to engage in conversations trying to bring someone down because we were bored. We should not have had to discuss who in our batch mates as if they were not people but mere things.

Bullying takes a lot of forms aside from the obvious physical attacks. Verbal attacks are also considered bullying. Saying mean things to someone within earshot then pretending you did not know is bullying. Manipulation is also another form of bullying. When you try to get others to hate the person you hate, and gather around to make the life of that person a nightmare, well congratulations you are a certified bully.

Knowing these forms might help you evaluate yourself if you are a bully to someone else or if you know someone who is bullying or maybe know if you are being bullied. For children or adults, bullying still takes place so it is important to know what to do in this scenario. The best thing to do is try to compliment the person being mean to you. They are expecting a fight or some argument, they are not expecting to be complimented and they will lose their momentum because of their shock.

Remember to always be kind, but do not be afraid to fight back. But if you do fight back, make sure you cover your bases well so that they cannot turn the situation back on you.