Why I Feel Alone & Weak

" Lonely is not being alone, it's the feeling that no one cares." ~Unknown

Howdy my read dot cash family!!!

How are you doing lovely read mate writers??? I hope you are doing well and enjoying your day. I'm also well just feeling little bit hurt. Sometimes the behavior of people in our surroundings disturbed us more than challenges that we face towards our destination. We are human always has limits of patience. Today limits of patience broke down and I burst into tears loudly. Actually I realized that how I'm alone in my life. Today I had french leave from university because there was just one class today.

Following are things that making me more alone and weak :

Family's Attitude ;

Family has been my first priority in life. I always afraid of loosing my family. I am always up to protect and standby my family. We have been living in rented home after my father's death since 2007. I give up my studies and do multiple jobs to arrange money for sister's marriage and dower. Later on I burnt midnight oil to save some Money for home and last week I bought 680 Square Feet Patch of land to construct home. I didn't even insist to register the land on my title. Although I don't have money now to start construction but family is forcing me to leave the study that I re-joined 2 Months ago. She wants me to arrange the construction expenses as early possible. I asked for sometime to Mom but nothing works before the authoritarian parents.

I followed Mom's will always. She rejected the man I choose to marry. I betrayed myself as obedience to my mother but I always get humiliation. Aaaah! I really missed dad perhaps he could understand me well. It's hard for daughter to mange everything as son. Now I am feeling like fish in two water because of my family compulsions and my education.

Comments About My Physique ;

" You define beauty yourself. Society doesn't define your beauty." ~Lady Gaga

Body shaming by people really hurts. Nowadays we assumed the meaning of beauty with one's physique, looks and color. We look for the perfect person in our surroundings and ignores many because they are too tall, too short, too skinny and too bony. We even descriminate each other on the base of their skin color. How rediculous we are???? If someone has acne marks and scares as birth mark we reject them by declaring them ugly.

Fat, fat and fat..these are the words that I am hearing for being too skinny. I know obesity is important as to subject of healthy life while it shouldn't be declared as the measure of beauty. I'm really feeling myself down because of body shaming by the people in my surroundings. I'm trying to control exceeding obesity but I don't want to make fun of others. Why don't people think that everyone is beautiful in their own way.

" Judging person doesn't define who they are, It defines who you are. ~Wayne Dyer

No Time For Personal Space ;

"You are in my personal space, so get out of it." ~Unknown

Relationship and responsibilities matters but personal space is also important. I'm working almost 15 hours a day. Daily two and half hour spend in travelling from home to university. 8-2 O'clock I had classes in university and later on 4-9 O'clock had part time job. I didn't have time to comfort my mind around the greenery. I don't have enough time to watch movies and hang out with friends.

These were the things that added to my worries and felt me alone and weak. Perhaps I don't have anyone in my surroundings to understand my feelings that's why I am sharing this with my dot family. I hope you will help me to stay strong and guide me to choose what is good option. Let me know the way how I may dealt the problems.

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