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Too exhausted! Do I deserved this?

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Written by   448
2 months ago

I am too exhausted 😭 Do I deserved this? Been so drained this past few days , nahh..not past few days but months. Even if I want to breath and relax , how can I do that. Earlier I was too tired , cleaning the house , cooking our food and taking good care of the kids.

While I am cleaning the house I shouted , I am too exhausted! Do I deserved this? Then my husband laugh at me. I was so tired. It's been twelve in the afternoon and still I am cleaning the house. I was exhausted to the point that I already pour a water on my head while I am brushing the floor in the dogs area.

It seems that I am joking but I am truly tired of everything. I don't have a problem with myself but the people around me have it and I am the one who suffered now. How to be selfish anyway? I don't know how to be like that.

It's 2 PM in the afternoon when we finished to shower. I asked my husband if he can look after the kids because I will cook some of the potato balls. I need to cook it because the ham will be spoiled because it was bought earlier. I told him not to make the kids asleep because I am the one who will do it and because I need to write an article when they asleep. You know , that's the only time I am free to do some stuff.

While I'm cooking potato balls I checked the room but it was locked. I thought the kids are playing but I'm wrong. They are asleep and I was annoyed because my husband allowed the kids to sleep. Here's our conversation. I make it in Filipino .

Bakit mo naman hinayaan matulog? Sabi ko ako magpapatulog e.

E nakatulog sila ng kusa . Ano magagawa ko.

Siguro pinahiga mo na kaya mga natulog.

E paano gagawin nila e naglalaro nag aaway lang.

Konting oras lang naman hinihingi ko diba? Lutuin ko lang yung potato balls.

Edi gigisingin ko , tapos patulugin mo ulit.

Sa tingin mo kapag nagising yan matutulog ulit?

E ano ba kasi problema kung natulog na.

Alam mo naman kapag tulog sila doon ako nagsusulat at nagpapahinga diba.

Then he woke up my son and my niece.

Gumising kayo. Tara sa labas maglilibot tayo.

I shouted , why he woke up the kids then I exploded. I throw the cellphone in the bed and asked him if he didn't understand me. I am only asking for a little time to make the kids not to fall asleep but he didn't. Before I leave the room and go to the kitchen my husband was watching a movie and wearing an earphone. Maybe he didn't noticed that the kids were already sleeping.

Then he went to the Sala and whispering claiming that it was his fault but in a sarcastic way. I heard also that he was hitting or punching something. It was my free time that time but I no longer have the courage to write and I have no topic as well because of what happened. I just feel like I am numb and I want want to hit my head in the wall.

Please tell me. Am I wrong? Maybe I am wrong because I am hot tempered that time. I am in the good mood before it happened. I am cooking some potato balls and I want him to taste it after I cooked it. Then that incident happened.

Because of lot of stress, I am always hot tempered. I am always not in the mood. I don't know if I'm still okay. I am having a hard time because of this. You know the feeling that seems no one understand you. Even if you want to be positive , it's not easy.

I'm a too exhausted but they didn't know that. I'm am too exhausted but I never complained to them. I'm a too exhausted and I just want even a little rest but nothing. Everyday same cycle. Everyday I tried to be okay. Everyday I said to myself that I can but the truth is I don't really know if how long can I stand. I don't want this kind of feeling. I don't want that time will come that I will choose to give up on everything.

I apologized for being so dramatic. It's just that my feelings is so heavy.

After an h0ur..

I went to the Sala and hug my husband. I hug him without a single word coming to my mouth. I just hug him while crying. He hugged me back and said sorry. I still didn't talk just crying. He wiped my tears and said

I thought you will write an article?

How can I write now after what happened?

We went to the bedroom and take a nap for a minute while hugging each other. We woke up because pur son woke up already and then we ate the potato balls.

Thank you for reading . God bless.

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Written by   448
2 months ago
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Comments

Hugs mumsh. Kapag nag accumulate talaga yung stress and frustrations minsan di talaga maiiwasan sumabog.

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2 months ago

Buti nga madam ung hubby mo napatulog sa anak mo, ung anako ko kapag katabi ang tatay nya naku kulitan lng sila

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2 months ago

Ayun nga gusto ko libangin nya e haha

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Lol...how could you expect from a father to keep children awake.hehehe I can understand your frustration with the same routine, you should have some rest but it would be impossible due to your responsibilities, right. But I am glad you have a supporting husband.

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2 months ago

Yahhh. What should I expect that hays.

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

sa sobrang stress minsan bigla nalang talaga tayo sasabog eh noh, relax kalang ate and take a deep breathe, it's good din kasi naipalabas mo sa hubby mo yung nararamdaman mo

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2 months ago

Nung Umaga pa Kasi. Alam mo Yung pagod na pagod kna physical at mental jusko

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Relate sis. May ganyang mga episodes din ako dito sa bahay.

Lalo na kapag yung pagod na pagod ka na ngang maglinis, tapos makikita mo sila kasama ng asawa mo na relax na relax sa sala habang busy sa pagkakalat ang mga anak mo.Pero hindi kasi ako vocal na tulad mo ..hehehe..

Uumpisahan ko yan sa pagdadabog..Pag nagdabog na ako, alam na yan ng asawa ko..it's either iiwas sya or tutulungan nya ako sa paglilinis. Minsan sinasabihan nya pa ang mga anak ko "Oh ligpit na ligpit galit na si mama ninyo"

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2 months ago

Konting oras lanf Kasi hiningi ko. Akala ko Naman lilibangin nya. Kung sa paglilinis okay lang kahit pagod Hindi ko sya inuubliga unless magkusa sya kase nga ako Yung babae at duties ko Yun. Ayun lang Yung konting oras na pinabantayan ko. Hindi Naman Yun matutulog kung nilibang nya e

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Truth sis.. Baka nawala din sa isip nya

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2 months ago

Sorry na madam, natatawa ako ako kada nababanggit mo ung potato balls huehue. Ang serious kasi tas potato balls huehue.

Pero ramdam ko naman anh pagod mo, ang hirap rin talagang maging ina at asawa ano kaya ako naku talaga. Nag iisip ka din kasi ng todo ee. Try mo kalma ang kautakan mo. And chill lang ng kaunti, deserve mo yan kaya gawin mo.

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2 months ago

Haysss madam. Ng dahil sa potato balls haha

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Huhu madam. Bat ako naiyak sa last part 😭😭 Minsan tlga hndi natn maiiwasan mag burst out lalo na kpg burnt out na katawan natn. Namgyari na yan skn..pro buti at understanding ang asawa mo..hirap tlga maging ina. 😢

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2 months ago

Oo Ganon lang Yun , never ako pinatulan non . Kapag naiinis na Yun lalayo lang Yun sakin.

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

I can feel you mommy, di tlga biro yung araw2 na gawain ntin. Gnyan din ako super stress kaya madalang nalng makapag online. Yung tipong konting time lng naman sana hinihingi natin, minsan okay madalas tlga wala kaya ang ending ngiging short tempered tayo at madalas pa ma misunderstood. Nung nkaraan gnyan din ako eh, hayss. Pero at the end of the day ang mahalaga napag usapan at naging okay din. Hugs Mommy ❤️

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2 months ago

Sobra mommy nakakadrain haysss. Yung tipong ako nalang magtrabaho , kayo dito pero Hindi ko pwede sabihin yon Kasi kailangan ko iembrace pagiging housewife ko though Hindi nga Lang tyo Kasi housewife lang diba.

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

gnyan din feeling ko these days, ako lng din lahat. Pero iniisip ko nlng na pglaki ng mga bata magkakatime ndin tlga ako. Hirap pa sa ngayon, pagtulog lng sla gaya mu ako nakakaonline. Madalas gawaing bahay pa muna inuuna ko kaya ang ending di na makaonline.

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2 months ago

Syang sya mommy haha Kaya kapag saglit Lang tulog nila saglit Lang din makakafocus dito.

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Masyado na mabigat momshie ang dala dala mo. And I think nakatulong yung paglabas mo ng hinanakit sa asawa mo, although sa hindi magandang paraan. And most importantly, nagkaayos kayo.

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2 months ago

Oo mommy. Yun Lang din problem sakin kapag napuno ako Wala nakong pakialam . Hays.

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Kaya importante un nailalabas mo yan momsh para di ka bigkang sumasabog na lang

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2 months ago

It must have been too heavy for you na my yen. That just means to say na your bottle is now full so the emotions took over on that situation. You tell him about how your truly feel. It's normal for us humans to get tired.

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2 months ago

Alam naaman nya Yun e. Minsan lang tlga Hindi ko na kayang ihandle emotions ko. Tp the point na ganon nangyayari.

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Hehe we get to that point at times, sis. Stress yan :D Take it slow and pause if you need to. Don't push too hard on yourself :) Buti mabait si hubby no? :D

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2 months ago

Oo haha. Kapag alam nyang Ganon lumalayo na yon.

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Ng dahil sa potato balls sis. Hehe

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2 months ago

Oo hahaha. Dahil baka umasim Ang ham haha

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

In my thinking, nagkakaganyan tayu lahat LOL, of course may family matters kayu I knew from previous writes and I think its also because we been over thinker. You know sometimes nakakapagod kasi if yung utak natin ang naeestress kaysa katawan.

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2 months ago

Totoo. Yung Parang bakit sinalo Kona lahat haha. Grabe , sobrang bigat na ng dalahin ko nagkasabay sabay

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

0 my dear You are on my mind.This happens to me sometimes.When my homework is not over. Then I also shout like this with my husband.relax my mate.

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2 months ago

I will try to be relax and not do it again

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago