Loosing a good friend 😢

I have a friend during my High School days. He's a good friend of mine back then. He's the clown of our section because of his cheerful personality and a lot of punch lines than makes the entire classroom laughs.

We separated our ways after High School. He studied in FEATI University and I studied in PUP Sta Mesa but after a year I transferred on the University near our hometown. We have no communication from time to time. We just updated each other through facebook and had a meet up during holy weeks and new years eve.

May 2013. That the last time we had a picture together. Its our High School get together and we had experienced a lot of fun that time. It was like we were still classmates even its been 5 years since we have been graduated.

After the get together, the set up turns back to normal. We still updated each other on Facebook and do meet ups when he got home in province. The unending stories while taking a shot of alcohol inside our friends backyards. Thats our typical bonding when we met and eating a goto ( rice porridge with beef intestine ) after we drink to loosen the effects of alcohol.

Sept 2013. He is one of the happiest person when he knew that his good friend and I having a relationship. I was also happy that time because it's easy for me to make a bond with my boyfriend friends. I am always present when they meet up and it's make me more happier and worry free because I know that my boyfriend was in good hands. I mean good friends.

May 2014 . His friend and I broke up. He's the one of the happiest person when he knew that we had a relationship but when we broke up, he's the one who showed dissapointment to us.

A month after his friend and I broke up. I entered into a new relationship again. He showed his dissapointment to me because I have a new boyfriend not knowing the whole story why his friend and I broke up. Maybe he tought that I am the one who broke up with his friend because of third party but the truth is, his friend broke up with me for no valid reason. He just left me hanging and his friends didnt know about that.

We had a long fights on the comment section on Facebook where I posted the photo of my new boyfriend. After that incident, I unfriend him because I am so hurt that he judged me and give his side to my ex.

Years passed, I dont want to meet him anymore even though I missed him alrrady. My pride controls me. I refused to go on my friends house because he's there. I unfriended all my ex boyfriends friends and also his classmates during High School. I cut all the connections to them.

And today, I received a message coming from my friend asking me if Ivan already passed away. She's not even sure so I searched his name and find out that he's gone 😢

I stalked his account and find out that he has a valvular heart disease and he admitted on the hospital last September 7 and I dont have any idea about that because I unfriended him 😭😭😭😭

He's friend organized fund raising, my High School batch mates shared it a lot of times but I didnt noticed it on my newsfeed because I am not opening my facebook from time to time.

I staked his account and I saw this poem.

This poem makes me cry because I know this guy has a big heart. He's a good man and a good friend. I am now in tears thinking that he passed away and yet we didnt fixed our misunderstandings in the past 😭😭😭

He changed his profile picture a year ago and look at the caption. It's like saying goodbye and an ending 😭😭😭😭 Is this a co incidence? It is September now.

We are planning to visit his wake once he arrived in their home which is in our province. I want to see him for the last time. I want to say that I feel so sorry. Maybe if we settled our misunderstandings in the past, there's a lot of memories that can be added before this day came. Tulala padin ako hanggang ngayon.

Truly, we never know what happened next. Maybe now my friend already left and tomorrow we dont know who's next. It is also a reminder for me that if you have misunderstanding with someone, fix it as long as possible because we never know what will happened like what happened to me and my friend. Life is too short so dont let your pride controls you. If you can humble yourself and fix the problem, do it.

No more pain my friend. Rest in peace and thank you for all the memories. See you in the next life. You will be missed.