We had a long tiring today because we visited my in-laws today. Supposedly my husband is the only one who will make a visit but he asked me if I want to visit too but I told him how can we able to go we don't have a motorcycle with sidecar but he told me that it is not strict nowadays so we can travel with a single motorcycle that's why I said yes to him. To be honest I only said yes to him because I want my son to meet his grandparents and also his cousins there but for me. Oh well nevermind. We travel around 9 in the morning. It's already hot outside that time and it also hard to travel because the road is under construction causing a heavy traffic in the main road.
Then as usual when we arrived since my in-laws were both senior citizen , the house is dirty and it's like a pre Halloween set up because of the spider webs all over the house. Yeah , my in-laws were living in the house by themselves and yeah they waited for us to live there but I don't want. I don't want for now. I don't want because of many reason but I convinced myself little by little that we will live there in the future.
So everytime we went there , thier neighborhood keeps on asking when we will live there and I always answered different alibis. Some of the neighborhoods were like that but some of the neighbor understand me why I don't want to live there. I know I am so mean why I don't want to live in my in-laws house but I don't want to enter in a situation that make me regret after. My husband and I talked about it already. I know he was hurt when I always keep on saying no but I know he also understand my reason because of the toxic vibes in thier house.
I want a privacy and I can't get it when I live there. Even though my in-laws live thier by themselves , his elder brother build a little room in the side of the house. We called it sibi in our language. They don't have own comfort room , electricity and water and they can enter the house every time they want resulting that you can't get the privacy there.
I want to decorate the house but I can't do it there. It is because my mother inlaw has some Alzheimer's disease and anything that she saw she always put it in her room. Last year we live there for five months because my husband was jobless and our set up there is that everytime we cook and finished eating we will keep the food in our room because if we let it stay on the kitchen my mother inlaw will touch it by her hands and sometimes her hands is not clean because she always also touch the garbage.
I cant express the true me. Yeah , I'm still a good girl in thier eyes as they didn't see my bad sides yet. You know being a strict mom or a strict person when it comes on the house belongings or house set up. Like hey , don't put the garbage in the window because the niece of my husband always did that. Or my mother in-law always wear her slippers full of sand when she enter the house. I don't want those kind of act but how can I tell them don't do it.
I can't cook what I want. We have an issue before because of my father in-law. It happened when we live there last year. So I will cook sinigang na baboy and here in our house we preffered to put some camote tops or water spinach instead of pechay but my father in-law said " pechay daw nilalagay sa sinigang at hindi kangkong " . And because I am maldita , I answered him " Sa amin po kasi kangkong nilalagay e. " . Then when I cook adobo , he has some say again. Hindi daw nilalagyan ng asukal adobo. Then I didn't rebut to it anymore but like what I always said to my father , cooking has no limitation as long as the taste complimenting to each other. I am a fan of sweet adobo then I will be the one who adjust because they don't want it.
Though I also pity my in-laws because they are already senior citizen and they need someone who will take care of them. Yeah , my husband has two siblings who lives beside my in-laws house but it seems they don't have care. Then also my mother inlaw and father in-law is not in good terms. I am they back stabbing each other , they didn't talk to each other and when you heard them talk for sure it's an argument.
So what do you expect for me? Decide to live there even if I know that I will be stress and uncomfortable. But my husband said when I said it to him. If you love me you will accept the situation of my family. I want to tell him that me and your son is your priority now but I can't tell it that because my family has problems too that's why we are staying here. Instead I told him live in your parents house so that you can take good care of them and I will live here so that I can take care of my niece.
Gulo no? Haysss.