Signs That Your Romantic Relationship Won't Last.... (1)

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1 year ago

'The worst pain isn't that of child birth but putting your all in a relationship and all your got is an heartbreak. - Dr. Wrinkle.

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Following my previous series of how to make your relationship romantic, today I will be discussing on an entirely different topic.  Everyone wants a happy and fulfilled relationship, void of quarrels, heart breaks, fights and chaos. Most times what we dream of doesn't come to reality or last. And we are left in the dark once again, the once person who makes you happy, smile and cheerful is now the person whose appearance gives you a sudden lump in your throat. 

Most times we often ignore those little signals at the beginning of our relationship, forgetting those signs points to someone quite serious. The usual love proverb 'love is blind' comes to play. This is a period were I refer to as the 'emotional surge era' . No matter how your partner behaves, you will not see fault and you won't complain because the love is still fresh and its glowing.  The next era is 'Emotional Balance Era', during this period you get to notice your partner's flaws but still carried away by your relationship. You are in a confuse state and so continues in your relationship.

The last phase is 'Emotional Deficit era' , period where all signs and little mistakes you overlooked before becomes so vital and magnified. Relationships entering this phase are often preserved through understanding and also with changes from the partner. Today I will be listing out signs that a relationship won't last, and I want you all to read knowing what listed below are not 100% guaranteed, which means you don't have to walk out of your relationship if your partner does them but you could, if it becomes an habit in your relationship.

1)If It Is Based On Romance Alone : If we could recall in my previous series I had mentioned, relationships without romance is bound to fail, and here am also telling us, relationship based on romance is a sign it won't last. This statement clarifies the saying too much of everything becomes a problem. Basing your relationship only on kisses, hugs, s*x without other things to complement it may not last. This shows that relationship also requires other factors to relate with, like sharing a common goal, interest or having other things done together. You stand the chance of losing out, when all you offer is your body (pardon me) but someday your partner will be tired of it. So Let they be other things shared together between both parties. It could be music, choice of career or food. You don't need to base it on romance alone.

2)  Their Friends Irritates You :  it is often said show me your friend and I will tell who you are. The beginning of a relationship flaws, behaviors and attittludes could be hid totally but most times your partner's friends may not want to change or pretend when they share moments with both of you. They still talk, behave and act the way they do, without being concern about your presence while your partner acts all holy and innocent. Because of this, you tend to dislike his friends, scared they might corrupt your good partner. Permit me to ask you this, what if your partner is their leader what will you do?.  In most cases it turns out your partner is worst than them, that could make your happy relationship hit rock bottom.

3) Indecisiveness : Previous series suggested you spending much time with your partner, doing a lot of things together. This could be a threat to your relationship when all your decisions and actions are engineered by your partner. Nobody wants to spend their life with someone, who can't make decisions on their own. Am not saying you should be independent but try to give useful ideas and suggestions when needed.  Am sorry I just love talking about my man, we take decisions from our collective ideas. I still remember when we wanted renting an apartment, he chose a location which I didn't liked, I had to tell him and give him my reasons. He saw they were authentic and had to get it in another location. You don't have to accept all what your partner puts to you, learn to give reason for your refusal. And please do it in a way, you don't hurt each other's feelings.

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4) The Love Is One Sided : No matter how much you love each other, there is always bound to be a party who loves the other the more. This results from us, having different mindsets, emotions and priorities. When this gap becomes too glaring then insecurity sets in. Nobody wants to stay in such a relationship where one party doesn't return something similar to the same amount of time and affection. Everyone gets jealous at some point. I can't be doing all the texting or callings while you are just there. One day I will be tired and leave.

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5) Wants To Change Everything About You : There is song by pink sweats$ "at my worst" which expresses how individuals will want to be treated by their partner. Everyone has flaws, challenges and different personalities but when your partner keeps on showing displeasure and always wants you to be perfect, looks perfect, then you are not in a relationship but some form of mental stress. Am not saying you should bundle all your bad behaviors and characters to someone, all am talking about here is changing your appearance, fashion taste and sometimes hobbies just to fit into your partner's taste. Of course if you have bad behaviors like excessive alcohol, multiple partners and other bad traits, you should change for the smooth sailing of your relationship. 

Imagine eating too much so to gain weight or losing too much weight just to fit into their desired features of a partner.  It is absolutely unacceptable but please learn to change bad habits and addictions, if you can't change alone, explain it to your partner and they will assist your shed such habits off.

To be continued……

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1 year ago

Comments

what I know now is I have to stay strong for my family even if the relationship with my husband is the not the ideal relationship that i wish

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1 year ago

Yeah, you have to be strong for them...

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1 year ago

Great points! I am lucky that his friends respect me as much as they respect him. Also, our relationship isn't about love alone, but we have a good foundation of communication, trust, and consistency.

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1 year ago

That was very insightful, my dear sister. Relationships are not all flowers and butterflies, we got to be prepared for the worst as well.

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1 year ago

Yes sister, how is the family and how are you ?

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1 year ago

The family is doing well, sister. Thanks for asking. Just a little busy since my partner is now working full-time. I am always tired at the end of the day so I sleep rather than get online. The toddler's getting so prickly lol.

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1 year ago

Relationship nowadays is base on sex nothing more. I wish the world could read this and know what to do for their relationship to last and not end up divorcing each other when they are married.

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1 year ago

I've witness and seen a lot of parents that stays together just for the sake of their son/daughters.. Yes it was given that they are living in the same roof so we define them us a family but I think you can say the family as family when both of the parents are loving each other.. By the way this is so out of topic but I want it to share.. Hehe

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1 year ago

I get your point, but then its wrong to stay when you know your heart is no longer there

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1 year ago

I agree with all what you said. I'm in a relationship with my partner for more than six years and luckily he haven't tried to change me.

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1 year ago

Another awesome pill from you milady. You perfectly made sense with all the points.

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1 year ago

All these are correct. I've seen a lot Relationship go down because the main focuse was s*x. This happens most times to students, all they gear their relationship to is pleasure.

Also, when love is one sided and its obvious, the attention giver is bound to give up easily

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1 year ago

Yes , they are relatable happenings in real life.. That's why it is not good to base our relationship on just romance

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1 year ago

A person could not change anything about himself at least this thing he should understand that he is unique himself and this is major one for breakage of relationships

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1 year ago

Yes, knowing and accepting someone the way they are is a sign of maturity

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1 year ago

You are right with all that you have listed. When our partner wants to change everything about us it's a sign the relationship won't last for real and also being in love with one-sided attention, it won't work at all. Thanks for sharing this.

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1 year ago

You are welcomed dear friend.

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1 year ago

I have picked some important point from your writing. The particular one I really emphasize is if all is base on romantic it wouldn't last. I have agreed with you because if it's only kisses, hugs and sex without any other thing to contribute into the success of the relationship. Such relationship won't last.

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1 year ago

Why do you agree so easily with me, have you experienced such ?

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1 year ago

Yes friend, I have experienced it.

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1 year ago

Wow, this article made me analyze many things that I honestly didn't pay much attention to, the romance thing shocked me, because I'm very romantic and the time I wanted the most was with that kind of love. Many times I have a hard time deciding between romance and healthy relationship.

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1 year ago

And I hope you will be able to decide now....

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1 year ago