A Note To My Younger Self

Dear self, it is with great joy filled with experience that I am writing this note to you. Life over here is so challenging that sometimes I just want to break down and cry the whole day. 

Before I begin to bore you with my unnecessary rants and advice you will never apply. I just want to seize this opportunity to appreciate all you did for me. It was your tireless effort that brought me this far. I still remember the days I had to go to bed hungry so I could wake to study, it was one of the interesting techniques I had to employ just to get this far. 

Do you still remember all the guys we crushed on when we were young. I know you must have forgotten a lot of them, let me remind you about some of them. 

They was this guy that was transferred from another school to ours. All the girls got their eyes on him because he was handsome, tall and fluent with the English language. I had no chance to talk to him because I was a bit shy and felt uneasy around guys.  Everytime I summoned up courage to do so I was always discouraged by his looks, his friends generally and the thought of being turned down by him. I had crushes but he was unique to me. 

Let's not talk about our crushes, let's focus on what we had always wanted to achieve which became possible as we age. 

Do you still remember those beautiful moment i visited the airport and when I saw the beautifully dressed Air hostess. I ran home to tell mom, I wanted to become an air hostess, it was such a funny moment when I sit to recall such moments. Before this time I had planned on becoming an engineer so I could repair and build roads, bridges and construct dams.

I think what was wrong with me was being fluid and that really affected my choice of decisions back then. I later settled to become a doctor when I realised how important it was to save lives. I just want to thank you for the sacrifices you made to make this a reality even in days I was tired and discouraged. 

That wasn't the main reason I chose to write you this note, I just wanted to tell you it isn't easy living the life I had in mind. We had a lot of bad days, a lot of challenges and even set backs. At some point in life I had wanted to throw in the towel and walk away but our past story of how we achieved great things, I could not give up. I really want to appreciate you for the woman you built out of me and I want to promise you that I will always represent you well. 

I am still menstruating and it is still painful though I am getting used to it by now. I still crave some chocolates during their period but I know how silly it is to take sugary things during such period. I also fell in love, made few mistakes but I still bounced out with few scars to show. I have been heartbroken, abused and taken for granted several times but I had to wade it off like nothing happened. I still remember those words from grandma ' hard times chases us but experience shapes us'. Thank you for never giving up on your dreams.

My final words are just promises I made since I was five, regardless of what life throws at me, made me felt bad about. I still promise to make it up to you, I will keep on doing all that will make you proud. You laid the foundation block, all I have to do right now is continue building from where you stopped.

I love you so much dear self.

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