Expectations vs.Reality

• How can you do this to me?

• I thought you love me?Why?

• What do you expect from your friend? That he/she will always be loyal and honest, that you will not discover secrets abd they will always be the best.

What do you expect from your children?

That after they finished school, they will be having a stable job and pay back their educational expenses. It hurts!

• What do you expect from your husband?

My husband should provide for my needs and build a house. That he will treat me like a queen and that he will always be the best Mr. Right for me, and I'm the only one for him forever.

A lot of times we became upset or disappointed because we set too many expectations for people. Even with the online store or fast food delivery. For example, we order chicken and drinks but when it was delivered the food was spoiled out on the bus. How would we react? Of course, we get mad. We expect that they will be serving us in a good way because we pay them right. After that, we will post on social media about that matter and everyone can read it. Does it happen to you? It happens to my friend and that is her first move of letting out her feelings.

But afterwards she felt bad and guilty because she became disrespect and unkind to the person.It affects her emotionally and ask forgiveness just like the delivery man did to her.

Sometimes our expectations are way too far from reality, because we expect to receive always the good, best, and what we want.

"There's always a curve line in the road."

• In marriage life, sometimes the point of expectations will be based on our influence with our family Like if we grow up seeing our father and mother as good role models in the family. It will come to our mind to expect that our husband or wife will do the same thing as our mother and father did to us.

• EXPECTATIONS 1.

When I and my husband are already dating, he tells some things that seem like a view of a good future because his family was having a good educational background. And being an immature person at that time I set my expectations that we can have a good life after marriage.

• REALITY

After we got married, he thought they will help us to start our living but expectations failed. We suffer because we're both unemployed and don't know what to do. That's why we strive harder to survive daily.

• EXPECTATIONS 2.

We're both Christian who served in the church, and that's what I dream of when I'm having a family. But we have fought and disagreements almost every day because of simple to complicated reasons. I expect that we will have a smooth relationship but we have gone through rough days. And if not by God's grace we didn't stay for long.

• Expectations are the scenarios that we desired and want to achieve in life as long as life. Most of these are a positive thing which is appropriate and positive in our perspective.

• Realities are the actual happenings that sometimes we cannot comprehend or control. A result of someone's actions, response towards our relationship, and dealing with people.

• Another scenario.

This happens to me, and to many who graduated but doesn't achieve a good job.An honor student but after graduation got married and have kids and didn't find a job.I know not just one , two but many of us have suffered this situation.Parents have treat the husband unlikely because they were upset to their daughter/son who failed with their career.Suffers bullying and rejection,mocking by some friends and neighbors because of failed expectations.

• MY expectation baggage

For how many years I've been carrying baggage deep inside the expectations of my family, friends with me. They expect me to become a successful teacher or an employed person who receives a monthly salary but unfortunately, I didn't achieve it. It's like a chain that I always bring in my life. Until one day, I got sick, and then I realized that God sets a purpose for us. People don't have the same destiny and purpose, we varied for different reasons, that's why expectations are always having unexpected results.

• Famous lines of expectations

• How can you do this to me?

• I thought you love me?

As I've mentioned above.

For real,I already used this lines , yes.Just like teleserye with dramatic eyes in my marriage life.Most of the time, women are very emotional , easy to cry a,nd got hurt.

Entering into marriage doesn't mean that we always expect that our spouse is always the best. What matters for me is what I can give to him which can fulfill my purpose as a wife.

• IN MY OPINION

Some expectations are reasonable and unreasonable. Reasonable for the matter which considers as the right thing in the law of the land and with God.

Like;(reasonable expectation)

• Loyalty, this concerned with husbands towards their wives or both. A spouse would expect that their love would stay faithful with marriage and not to betray or commit any infidelity actions. For me, it's acceptable to expect in this matter.

• Obedience-We expects that our kids will respect us as their parents and will listen to our advice but most of the time they will neglect this. Like what happen recently which the kids are mostly spending their time with online games. They have become neglect their responsibility as a student. And I think as parents, we have the reason to expect this.

• Unreasonable expectation

One of the unreasonable expectations for me as a wife that a wife will expect that her husband will build a dream house even if he doesn't have enough budget for that, or let me say demand things that are hard to achieve immediately.

Expectations are our desired happenings in the future, a good tomorrow, that we dreamed of. But in reality, today that we are in a pandemic situation, I think it's time to lower down our expectations.

The more we expect the more we got hurt. Some of the negative behavioral reactions are a result of failed expectations.

And being a daughter experienced this situation, now I learn to be realistic with my kids, no pressure with their studies and give them freedom what they want to do with their life like career or course.I know how it feels like to be controlled and pressure ,that's I learned freedom.

Live in reality, and consider the true things in the present.

• Face the Reality

That life today is hard.

That marriage life is not easy.

A happy life doesn't depend materially.

We are all prone to danger.

Life is short.

That we all pass away.

That virus exists.

Life is full of threats.

Positive

Our family is the one that loved us the most.

We can be happy each day.

Enjoy our family.

Be thankful always.

Be wise in spending your time.

That love makes us happy.

We can do a change.

That God knows everything.

We are free to expect, just a reminder that every human being has weaknesses.No one is perfect. We all commit mistakes. We all fail. But the word sorry and forgiveness is always available.

Life is not always a happy ending, not a fairytale, learn to be real, and do what matters.

• REMEDY

LOWER DOWN or LIMIT YOUR EXPECTATIONS AS LONG AS POSSIBLE(Maybe possible to eliminate)

ENCOURAGE, APPRECIATE POSITIVE ACTIONS

It's a good reinforcement to our family, like children, parents, and friends.

Your, not 100%, sometimes we do have a low portion of the action.

Be realistic, as always.

God bless you.