Does fathering children makes one a man

“I know some [boys] who say, 'I have a daughter who lives here and a son who lives there,' and they don't seem to care, as they say.

EVERY year in the United States, nearly a million teenagers become pregnant. The vast majority of children from these mothers are born out of wedlock. Of these teenage mothers, one in four will have a second child in the next two years. Atlantic Monthly says, “If current trends continue, fewer than half of all children born today will continuously live with their own parents during childhood. Most American children spend several years in a single-parent family. ""

Although teenage pregnancies are much higher in the US than in other developed countries, the problem of extra-marital births is global. In some European countries such as England and France, birth rates are comparable to those in the USA. In some countries in Africa and South America, the youth birth rate is almost twice that of the United States. What is driving this epidemic?

Behind the epidemic

This largely reflects the moral deterioration of the "critical times" in which we live. (2 Timothy 3: 1-5) Divorce rates have skyrocketed in recent decades. Homosexual lifestyles and other alternative lifestyles have reached the mainstream. Young people have been the target of a deluge of media advertising: suggestive music and music videos, frightening articles and ads in magazines, television programs and films that glorify casual sex. Easy access to abortion and birth control services has also contributed to the widespread belief among young people that sex has no consequences. A single father says, "I want sex without responsibility." "Sex is fun and playful," says another.

These attitudes can be particularly prevalent among poor young people. Researcher Elijah Anderson conducted in-depth interviews with young people from slums and stated: “For many children, sex is an important symbol of local social status. Sexual conquest becomes so many notches on the belt. “In fact, a single father has Awake! That sexual conquests are generally viewed as "trophies" to put on your jacket. "What explains this insensitive attitude?" Anderson explains that in many cases the most important people in a favela's life are “members of their peer group. They set standards for their behavior and it is important that they live up to those standards. ""

Anderson notes that for many young people, sexual conquest is nothing more than a game "whose goal is to be smarter than the other, especially the young woman". He adds that "the game is made up of the child's full representation, including their clothes, toilet, appearance, ability to dance and speak". More than one child is skilled enough to win this "game". But Anderson notes, "When the girl becomes pregnant, the boy has a tendency to move away from her." - Young Single Parents: Role Changing and Emerging Politics, edited by Robert Lerman and Theodora Ooms.

God's vision

But does raising a child really make someone a man? Is Sex Just A Game? Not after our Creator, Jehovah God. In His Word, the Bible, God clearly states that sex has a high purpose. After discussing the creation of the first man and the first woman, the Bible says: “God blessed them and said to them: Be fruitful, be many, and fill the earth.” - Genesis 1:27, 28. God's purpose for children to be abandoned by their parents. He united the first man and woman in permanent marriage. (Genesis 2:24) Hence, it was His will that every child should have a mother and a father.

In a short time, however, the men had several wives. (Genesis 4:19) Genesis 6: 2 tells us that even some angelic creatures "noticed that the daughters of men were beautiful". After materializing as human beings, women "went and took" and eagerly took "what they wanted". Noah's flood forced these demons to return to the spiritual realm. However, the Bible shows that they are now limited to the neighborhoods of the earth. (Revelation 12: 9-12) Satan and his demons have a powerful influence on people today. (Ephesians 2: 2) Young people inadvertently yield to this evil influence when they have unwanted and unloved children.

Scripture rightly says: “This is what God wants, his sanctification, to avoid fornication; May each of you know how to take possession of your own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in a greedy sexual appetite such as those nations that do not know God have; Do not let anyone go so far as to interfere in this matter and usurp his brother's rights, for it is Jehovah who punishes all these things. ”- 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-6.

"Refrain from fornication"? Lots of young people can laugh at this idea. After all, they are young and their desires are strong! Note, however, that fornication involves "violating and usurping the rights" of others. Doesn't it hurt a girl to leave her with a baby but without the support of a man? What about the risks of contracting a sexually transmitted disease such as genital herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, or AIDS? Of course, it is sometimes possible to avoid these consequences. Even so, premarital sex continues to violate the girl's right to maintain a good reputation and marry a virgin. Refraining from fornication is therefore sensible and shows maturity. It is true that it takes self-control and determination to "own your own boat" and to abstain from sex before marriage. But as Isaiah 48:17, 18 tells us, God teaches us through His laws to "take advantage of them."

"Further than men"

However, how can a young man prove that he is a real man? Certainly no illegitimate children. The Bible admonishes: “Stay awake, stand firm, carry on like men, get strong. May all your affairs be conducted with love. ”- 1 Corinthians 16:13, 14.

Remember that “going on as a man” means being vigilant, firm in faith, brave, and loving. Of course, these principles apply to men and women of equal strength. But when you develop these spiritual qualities, people have good reason to respect and admire you as a real man. Learn a lesson from the greatest man who ever lived - Jesus Christ. Just think of your manly and courageous demeanor in the face of torture and even death. But how did Jesus behave with the opposite sex?

Jesus certainly had the opportunity to enjoy the company of women. He had many followers, some of whom "served [him and his apostles] with what they had". (Luke 8: 3) He was particularly close to the two sisters of Lazarus. In fact, the Bible says: "Jesus loved Martha and her sister." (John 11: 5) Did Jesus use his intelligence, charm or good physical appearance, which he undoubtedly had as a perfect man, to induce these women to commit immoral acts? On the contrary, the Bible says of Jesus that "he did not commit any sin". (1 Peter 2:22.) He did not behave inappropriately even when a woman widely known as a sinner, perhaps a prostitute, "cried and began to wet her feet with tears and wipe them away. With her hair. Her head "(Luke 7:37, 38). Jesus never even thought of taking advantage of this vulnerable woman! He demonstrated his ability to control his emotions, the mark of a real man. sexual objects, but as individuals who deserve love and respect.

If you are a young Christian who is following the example of Christ and not that of some of your co-workers, it will prevent you from "violating and usurping the rights of others." It will also protect you from the sad tragedy of having an illegitimate child. It is true that others make fun of you in order not to fornate. But in the long run it will do you more good to gain God's favor than the temporary favor of your companions (Proverbs 27:11).

But what if a young man has led an immoral life in the past but has already deviated from his immoral behavior and has really repented? In this case, like repentant King David who was also involved in sexual misconduct, you can be sure of God's forgiveness.