Being in a relationship with someone you love and who reciprocates that love equally or even more can be very beautiful. A relationship with someone you feel free to talk to/ with about anything and everything, someone who respects you, someone who cares deeply for you and shows it, someone who brings you a lot of joy and happiness. A satisfying feeling right.? Yes it is.
On the other hand, a relationship with someone who doesn't love you or value you or respect you, someone who only brings you tears, pain and a lot of sorrow. That can be extremely painful. Such relationships are toxic and extremely unhealthy to one's mental and emotional health.
If you haven't experienced it before then you're probably finding it absurd and wondering why anyone would find themselves in such relationships in the first place. Well, most of the time, the relationship didn't start like that. At first, it was all beautiful and rosy as all relationships are in their early stages, but unfortunately, not all relationships remain beautiful and rosy. Something suddenly happens, probably one person did something wrong or the other person just starts loosing interest all of a sudden. And then you wake up one morning and realize, there's nothing but toxicity left in your relationship.
Now you're probably wondering why they would remain in such unhealthy relationships. Why can't they just leave.? Well, its not that easy, if it were, we'd have a larger number of happy people in the world today. Most of them have reasons which they think are strong enough to keep them in that environment. I'll give you some of the strongest reasons which I've come across.
First and most common reason is love. I was a victim of this one too. Now you're probably wondering how one can love a person that constantly abuses them and puts them to misery. Hmm. Love is very strong and extremely complex. It could drive you to do things that you wouldn't ordinarily do, to endure things you are ordinarily against. It could drive you to make excuses for your abuser, to hold on hoping that one day he or she would change. This is the major reason you see very successful men and women in toxic relationships.
Another reason could be what they stand to gain from the relationship. Probably there are benefits from the relationship such as financial support or family support or academic/ career support or some other kind of support which they're afraid they'd loose if they walked away.
Another reason could be the other people who'd get affected by the ending the relationship. For instance one's children. They are afraid of the effect it would have on their kids.
Another reason is fear. Some people are afraid of being alone, fear of not being able to thrive without them. You've been with this person for so long that you can't just picture yourself without them, so you stay even if it brings nothing but pure mystery.
If you're in one and you feel you have a strong reason which I may not have mentioned above, I'm here to tell you that no reason or excuse is good enough to justify your unhappiness. If its love, let go. You will love again, you'll find someone that loves and appreciates, someone that would be willing to fight for you. But you can't find that if you're too busy being loyal to a relationship that harms you.
If it the fear of being alone, you're yourselfs best friend and its better to be alone and happy than miserable with someone. If its fear of not being able to live without them, you are strong, you don't know how string you are. I assure you that you can and will be able to live without them.
If its your children, I'm certain that they'll thrive better, grow into happier children when they feel their parents are happy even if its away from each other. Children are able to sense the tension and they'll do better in an environment without such tension.
If it's what you'll loose by leaving the relationship, I need you to know that you're worth everything and nothing is worth loosing yourself and joy for.
Maybe you blame yourself for your failed relationship. You probably cheated or lied or did something wrong at some point that you feel turned your partner off or turned them against you, and now you hold onto that relationship because you feel its their fault and you deserve it. If this is your reason, then please forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes; you made yours and you regret it and if your partner is unwilling to see this and forgive you, then, do you honestly want to keep going in that kind of relationship?
Leaving a toxic relationship requires a lot of courage, and maybe you feel you don't have that courage. That's a lie.. You are strong, extremely strong. I need you to reach into yourself and pull out that strength, the courage you need. If you feel that's not enough, then turn to friends and family to also support you. It'll hurt, I know, trust me I do, but you'll heal, you'll forget about him/her, the pain will fade and then you'll come out bigger and stronger than you ever were. Please take that step today and remember, you're worth everything. Don't let anyone treat you less. I love you all ❤.
Thank you guys for staying till the end, it means a lot to me. If you have questions or anything to add, pls leave it in the comment session. Let's support and be there for one another. Watch out for my next post where I'll be talking about the importance of realizing self worth. Till then, stay safe guys. I love you all😘.
There will never be love for a person who will neglect me, who will not evaluate my love, who will not evaluate me, who will insult me in front of everyone, in many relationships there is a lot of love at first, care but gradually it ends It's a difficult time to go, he can't be forgotten, he can't be found again,