My journey towards silence: the importance of shutting it.

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Avatar for Ulquiorra
2 years ago

Knowing when to shut the f*ck up has helped me in countless instances including reducing drastically the amounts of fu*k ups I have found myself in. I realized this at a very early age in life when I observed that there's no quicker way to blow up beautiful things than saying messed up stuff. Empty vessels make the loudest noise they say, well, they couldn't be more right!

When it comes to maintaining boundaries in relationships, it is indispensable to know when and where to keep quiet. Conversations can easily stir in a totally different direction and if you're still a novice in knowing when to shut up or is susceptible to, as my friend will say "vomiting rubbish", this can prove extremely difficult but we can start off by knowing when to talk.

In the seventeen years of my life, there were times I messed up owing to my mouth that used to run like a tap. I am a good keeper of secrets but anytime there's a get together among friends, most of whom are older than me, I talk alot and I mean alot!! It used to be a bad habit and people started taking me less seriously because of the irrelevances and unwelcomed "truths" I keep on talking. I realized later in life that one of the most beneficial knowledge one can ever acquire is the knowledge of silence.

Silence is chaotic.

I started my journey towards silence about a year ago. I first of all withdrew from most of my friends, those that make me say unnecessary things and learnt to value my personal time more. I became extremely silent that people started thinking I was depressed, I admit there was a time I became depressed because of the change I started encountering. I became more of a slowpoke when it came to talking because I had to process everything before letting a word come out of my oral orifice. I started appearing weird both to myself and my circle of friends so I had to become introverted. In class, I found it hard to concentrate and not only did I stop engaging in unnecessary conversations and saying unnecessary things, but also started ignoring people when they talk to me. I withdrew from group discussions as I became more sensitive to any form of noise. It was like a cocoon was slowly forming around me, making me feel isolated.

Silence is uncertain.

Although the duration of my depressive state was brief, it was also deep and painful. I started having thoughts of uncertainty that what I was doing was doing wasn't right and my friends would end up leaving me alone and I'd end up without friends. Thousands of thoughts like that kept on resurfacing and I became sure that what I was doing doesn't make any sense. I tried to become more like my former self as some of my friends have abandoned me but something inside me didn't allow me to become that person anymore. As much as I wanted to become that person, it still felt entirely scary to be that person, although I wasn't even sure why I was scared.

Silence is sentient.

As I grew more silent, I grew more observant. I became able to detect things and listen more to things I am quite sure I wouldn't pay attention to if it had been my former self. As I grew more silent, I took the backseat and I mean it literally. I used to sit in the front seat but I started sitting at the back since not many people there. I had to distance myself from people if I am to distance myself from noise. It was like a veil suddenly lifted and I saw things....

.... things that I would discuss in my next article.


Thanks for reading.

Ulquiorra,

👻👻👻

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