Outer silence, inner turmoil.

Have you imagined a seemingly still water body with crashing waves just beneath the stillness? That was the next stage I encountered. The more I grew silent, the more I made more noise within. I started over thinking and as we all know, overthinking leads to depression. As I sank deeper into this state on a fateful day reality suddenly dawned, I didn't think it through, I didn't contemplate it, it just happened out of the blue like some sort of inspiration. It dawned on me that that's been my inner state all along: the always chattering, always thinking, always talking voice. All my outward noisiness were an attempt to ignore the work that needed to be done within. It had been all an attempt to quieten all the thoughts, but now that I no longer talk much, I decided to embark on the journey.

We get so absorbed in the outside walk that we sometimes forget the mess we've creating or are still creating on the inside. Things happen that we blame on others without considering that we might be the cause of the problem from day one.

Silence is peace:

It's no surprise that many people who seem to be happy are the saddest people on earth. You see a man gisting with friends, laughing with them, throwing parties and getting everyone drunk, a man who always has that charming killer smile a few days back, is suddenly reported to have committed suicide the next day and you just can wrap your head around why a "happy" man like that killed himself. You might even think that it is a lie and it's all staged murder to make it look like suicide.

Peace. He had no peace. His heart is always racing even with that smile, his thoughts are killing him and the reason he gets drunk is to bury those thoughts to prevent them from haunting him.

In the journey towards silence, we find that the real and lasting silence is that of the mind. Silence of the mind leads to clarity, clarity leads to wisdom and understanding. When this wisdom becomes deeply grounded in your heart, you become an enlightened being.

I must admit that it wasn't easy at all. I began my journey and to God be the glory, I had this gift of consistency. I dug into books regarding the topic and was lucky enough to get a Sufi online mentor. With time, it started becoming quieter and calmer inside. Also, I started facing alot of tests and temptations but I knew better than to throw it all away and prayed for the strength to keep on going. I soon reach a stage where I started seeing things. That was the point when the veil was lifted. I saw things in a go that would take normal people a lot of time to see. My brain became sharper and I felt lighter, my skin became lighter too and I felt happier. People thought that I suddenly became a genius little did they know that I just became brave enough to tap into what everyone already has deeply buried inside them : the ever flowing fountain of wisdom and love. I smiled whenever they say things like that without bothering to explain for they'd think that I have become some sort of Buddhist or enlightenment freak..

Silence is God:

In this state, you start seeing wonders. For God to manifest His presence within you you'll have to prepare your heart for Him and Him alone. Perform a general sanitation on your heart and mind. Unlearn past beliefs, rid your mind of toxic thoughts and unnecessary fantasies for it is in such hearts God finds a dwelling place. What more is there? You become an tools for God's work. Your ability to love without expectations increase unbelievably thereby freeing you from the shackles of one of human's most limiting flaws : expectations. You become happier and your energy levels increases. You might even feel it flowing out of you at times.

After all these, I got back to my social life but this time around, I am more self aware and know whatever the f**k is coming out of my mouth. Even my tone changed to become a calmer one. I became the person I have always wanted to be... A happy young man!

Thanks for reading.

Ulquiorra,

👻👻👻