I write with a heart full of pain and sadness(close to tears, but no worries I will be fine). I don't really get, is resorting to violence really the way to solve issues?😟

I was just on WhatsApp few minutes ago and I came across a video on a group. In the video, a lady was seen being dragged away by a guy with her long braids while still beating her mercilessly 😡(not sure if they were married, it doesn't look like it). I really wish I could share the video here. Honestly it's painful, i'm a lady myself and I know how painful it is installing braids not to talk of being dragged around by it.

I mean what could she have done to warrant such ill treatment? And the most annoying thing is nobody was coming to her aid, instead they were filming it. What if she gave up the ghost? I know they might be trying to mind their businesses and all or they might have tried interfacing before and then it didn't go well. I don't just know, it so sad really😞.

Just few days ago, a Gospel singer was reported to have died from domestic violence. It was after the deed has been done that her co-singers came out to start warning people especially fellow Christians to walk out of toxic marriages/relationships before then all we heard was a woman has to make her marriage work. The common slang was if the marriage wasn't working, it's the fault of the woman. And this has made most women withstand toxic relationships even though it's killing them mentally, physically, spiritually, etc because of the fear of what the society will say or think about them.

I feel some male gender reading this right now might feel/think, ehn ehn they've come again, when it comes to them we won't hear word😂 . Nobody is talking about the fact that men are also going through this violence.

I know men go through this too, and i'm sorry you have to go through that and I know it hard to speak up because the society would think you're not man enough. But really, gone are the arrear of keeping mute when it's really breaking you inwardly. We are in the soro soke generation🗣. According to wikipedia 'males die by suicide three to four times more often than do females'. Please speak up your mental health is important.

Although, in this article I will be focusing more on the female gender.

Origination of domestic violence from my POV

1. From the family: Any male child either elder or younger brother who grow up beating his sisters(elder or younger) will most likely end up being a woman beater. Hey! Don't get me wrong o, i'm not saying it's not good to discipline your siblings(younger siblings of course) but you know that moment they began turning into women(puberty development), yeah, it's time to change the course of things. Imagine a man of 28 years old being at war with his sister of 22years old all in the name of discipline( none of them would want to give in to the other). To me it's like beating one's wife because i'm sure that may be the age gap between couples.

2. School, community/society: At school or environment where a male child gets involve in fight with females every now and then, is also an example of where/how it all started out. Lack of respect for the opposite gender. Hey! Don't get me wrong, I know some girls can be very annoying but there are ways to deal with things like this. E.g reporting or walking away from the scene(easier said than done,right?) But it's very much possible.

These are the two reasons out of many that I think it all started from. Why didn't I add from the parents? Well I feel a man/boy who has been trained from childhood to respect girls, ladies and women will grow up with that in mind(and vice versa)

In summary

I feel there are better ways to resolve issues and communicate effectively without resorting to violence.

Let's me drop a hint.

Before you go ahead to do something especially something that hurts, first put yourself in the person's shoe. If I were him/her would I want to be treated, disciplined or communicated to like this? That's what the bible mean by love your neighbor as yourself.

Conclusion

I hope I have been able to pass a message across(hopefully 🙏🏽)

Thanks for reading to this point, I really do appreciate.

And please do check out my previous articles you will find them enlighten as well.