Religion isn't conflict
While I was away, religion is one of the things that was rampant and that I have also looked forward to writing on.
Few weeks ago in Nigeria, there was a news about a christian girl who was stoned to death and her corpse set ablaze by her fellow students of the same department.
What was her crime? They said she blasphemed the name of prophet Muhammad.
According to news, it was said that Deborah, the girl in question had complained that her Course mates send too much of religion messages to the class whatsapp group.
That was all they claimed she said that made her deserve such cruel death.
One of those who carried out the act was bold enough to record a video of himself with the matches he used to set her corpse on fire, claiming he was the one who did it, like there would be an award for him or something.
Wow! Amazing!!
I'm not here to judge anyone or defend any religion, nah not at all.
Aim of this article
We all know that religion is believed to be the cause for many conflicts in today's world.
Before I continue let me share this...
Yes most people think religion is the source of war, when it is actually the opposite.
Religion only instructs us to love each other, how can that cause wars? Conflicts are usually centered on race, land, resources, culture and tradition etc. Religion refers to the love between human beings and their creator and therefore religion creates a harmonious situation within society. Countless wars were created because of greed for resources. Religion gives us the freedom to practice any belief without hurting anyone or imposing our beliefs on others. If we practiced what religion instructs us, there will be no war. Religion must continue to be a unifying factor in the world and therefore anyone who seeks to instigate war should not be allowed to speak in the name of religion.
I wish everyone could envision religion as **Mr Bello** one of the characters in one of **jamb novels** titled **sweet sixteen** authored by **Bolaji Abdullahi** as envisioned it.
Mr Bello to his daughter, Aliyah.
Everybody is entitled to his or her faith. If God had wanted, he could have made all of us Muslims or Christians, but He did not.
Why?
Because God knows that the most beautiful garden is the one that has different colors and different types of flowers.
So, the beauty of our country, like the rest of the world, is in the diversity of our people, not only in our religion , but also in our tribes and cultures.
Religion is not conflict, it's peace. We all have a right to our beliefs and to each their own. Before we judge one another, let us have the understanding that everyone has the right to be a human being. Respect one another because all of usare blessed.
We are all from one race, the human race!
Let us unite as a people and just fight for our rights as humans and for that, Life is sacred.
All life is sacred given by God Almighty and no one has the right to take away another's life.
We must all be united, as one people and share our resources as a whole to live together in peace and not be distracted by things that divide us by skin color or religion which only creates violence and hatred among us. Let us embrace each other because we are all one.
Conclusion
While religion can be a powerful force for good and it is also used to ease tensions between faiths, it can also be used to promote hate and terrorism.
The world's major religions have been put in the public spotlight in recent years as a result of political actions. Religion has become a divisive topic; something which impacts our daily lives on the national stage.
However, we need to start an open conversation about the role of religion in our world, why so many people are involved in these conflicts and create an understanding to bring peace to all mankind.
I hope I have been able to pass a thing or two across.
***Thanks for reading to this point, your views, comments, upvotes and likes are not taken for granted***
Happy new month
Happy new month fam!💃🏻 yep! I'm glad to be back on this platform.
The month of May was an hectic one for me. I battled with skin irritation and it took a whole lot to step out of my house each day with confidence, with my face looking like that of a leper. Honestly, it's was tough, using a lot of drugs recommmended by people who had gone through the same issue with none effective in fact they were actually producing the reverse of what they were meant to be doing in my system.
They were days I go out and people would asked me if I were using a cream I was reacting to or did something I wasn't supposed to do, some even go to the extent of asking if I don't take my bath, lol.
Some would give advice on what they did while they were in my shoes and others recommended herbs. God! It's so depressing, especially when you've spent all the money on you buying drugs and recommended stuff and none worked and it's frustrating when people keep asking questions like one is not doing anything about one's condition🤦🏽♀ and others trying to use the fact that something is up with one to exploit one.
Days I just sat back and cried or days I thought about where it all went wrong. Although things like such happens because i'm prone to acne but it has never gotten to that level.
Why not hospital?
Well I could have gone to a hospital, a general hospital close to where I reside because I can't afford a private hospital for now but getting an appointment with a doctor in a general hospital is a tug of war here, one has to go through some procedure before one can see a doctor, like getting a card and then fixing an appointment which can be in a month time, like the one I got for my glasses recently, imagine someone who could barely see with his/her eyes who came to see the doctor hoping to get a quick response but was told to come back in a month time, how do they except such person to see without his/her glasses for a month?! Yes that's how tough it can be here and it one of the things that discouraged me from going to the hospital.
Well, it all came to an end when I finally decided to go traditional. I was told it from the blood stream so I needed to treat it from the inside. I bought herbs (thank God it was affordable) and cooked it(first time in my entire life that i cooked herbs. if someone told me I would someday do such I would deny it, lol).
I drank it each morning and after some days it all dried off😊.
I'm currently dealing with the spots left tho, it's fading.
Couldn't achieve many of my goals for the month but I thank God for life.
Yep, so that was how May went for me.
I look forward to a better and friendlier June, I hope you do too.
Oh pardon my manners...
I was so consumed in talking about my May experience that I didn't send a new month greeting🤭...
Vote of thanks
To all who reached out to me during those tough time. My heartfelt gratitude goes to you and I don't take any of you for granted. ❤
Good evening FAM😃🖐🏼.
I hope you all have been fine. It's being awhile i've been here, about 4 or 5 days ago. Well, I haven't been too well health wise, i'm currently dealing with skin irritation, i think i'm reacting to something that I can't figure out yet. I have been taking some medications for a week which didn't work. I'm currently on one now, I pray it works.
To cut the long story short, I will be back on my feet soonest, so please do bare with me for the time being. Thanks for understanding🤗
Power of encouragement
Few weeks ago, I was opportune to be at an event with children and teenagers.
At the event, there are lot of games and shows e.g talent show, to participate in. Some of the teens I went with said they would like to show off their singing talent, well best of luck I said. While I was standing quietly at a corner, one of the girls, who was chosen by others to be the lead singer, came to me before it got to their turn telling me how scared she was, and that she didn't think she could do it as against what others thought and she kept ranting about her being not fit for the task.
I just stood there and watch her talk thinking of how best to make her believe in herself, when she was done. I held her still and gave her a hug, while still in that position, i spoken to her ears saying " you remember one of our mottos is shine your light, you've gotten everything it takes to do better than anyone here, I know you can and I believe so much in you" and I ended it with "go girl! the world awaits your manifestation". https://read.cash/@Tobias00/shine-your-light-8de79a1e
Their performance went amazingly well, even to my surprise. They got people on their feet, it's honestly superb. Through out our stay there and even while going home she and others kept receiving compliments from adults, children and teens alike. On our way home, she fell in pace with me and said even though she didn't win any trophy, the compliments are enough evidence that she did well.
That day I learned a lesson, which was power of encouragement.
Encouragement
Encouragement is the act of uplifting, as a person or group, to do or to continue doing some specific thing. Encouragement is power. It gives strength to continue, builds the will and can be an incentive for improvement. Learning happens through encouragement. Encouraged students learn more in a shorter time than those who are not encouraged. Encouragement causes one to strive. Encouragement helps one to build character, maturity and self esteem. Encouragement is one of the most important things in life, be it to others or oneself.
Encouragement/motivation/will power.
These words may be mistaken to mean the same but they have their difference.
**Encouragement** as we've learnt can also mean the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.
While **motivation** is reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way.
And **willpower** is the control exerted to do something or restrain impulses. Word similar to it is determination. When motivation and encouragement are gone will power is what keeps you pushing.
Let me share this; although I have shared it before in one of my articles. https://read.cash/@Tobias00/more-than-they-say-or-assume-344feea0
Triggers for encouragement
As we've read above, it can be triggered by **[1]**external events (that is verbal encouragement). **[2]**signals from within the individual, such as an emotion or a memory.
Form of encouragement
Encouragement may come in many forms, including praise, words of affirmation, or expressions of love and support.
encouragement is much more powerful than any kind of force in the world. It makes someone to do his/her best at work, especially for teenagers, youth and adult that are still in school. There must be someone who is willing to help them on their way to success
It's one of the attributes of an empathic leader and as earlier stated it's word of affirmation, one of the five types of love languages. https://read.cash/@Tobias00/empathetic-leadership-762876d0 https://read.cash/@Tobias00/love-languages-2-6624ed12
Conclusion
Encouraging others won't take a dim from ones pockets and as we all know we live in a world where negativity over shadows positivity particular on the internet. There are a lot of people who spend their time trying to make one feel bad about oneself. Its tough.
One of the reasons, we need to encourage more and criticize less.
As the common saying goes *behind every successful man there is a woman.* Let me rephrase it by saying ***behind every success person be it man or woman there is a tribe of encouragers.***
To me another way of showing humanity is through encouragement.
Vote of thanks
***My heart felt gratitude goes to everyone who view, like, upvote and comment on my articles, also to my sponsors (please do check them out, they write enlighten articles) You're all are tribes of encouragers.***
N.B; the hypertexts are links to my articles on those topic. Feel free to check them out and comment. I look forward to hearing from you🤗.
Love languages 2
Hi FAM! Yes i'm back to continue from where we stopped. I hope you all have been good. I have been tho, in case you're wondering.
If you're just joining on this topic's journey, welcome i'm glad to have you join us and do well to visit my previous article in order to catch the train. https://read.cash/@Tobias00/love-languages-1db9ca82
With that said let's dive right in, shall we?
What is a love language?
According to American English dictionary **love [1]** *is a profound and caring affection towards someone.* **[2]***A deep or abiding liking for something; an enthusiasm for something*. **[3]** *A thing, activity etc which is the object of one's deep liking or enthusiasm.*
**Language** according to the same dictionary is **[1]** *The expression of thought (the communication of meaning) in a specified way*. **[2]** *Manner of expression*
Therefore; from these two words, my own definition is...
love language is the expression of enthusiasm. That is a Language that arose deep enthusiasm(interest) from within.
Let's me expanciate.
For instance, if you want that crush of yours to develop feelings for you, you must be ready to strike his/her mumu button. That button is you knowing his/her love language and speaking it to him/her, that one thing that will make him/her show interest in you.
I hope this makes sense. As we move deep you will understand what i'm trying to pass across.
Types of love language.
There are 5 love languages like Mrs W mentioned in my previous article and they include; https://read.cash/@Tobias00/love-languages-1db9ca82
**Word of affirmation**: This is one in which words build a person up. That is he/she thrives on spoken affection, praise, encouragement, and compliments. Harsh words and criticism bothers such person for a long time. We all have that one person that can still vividly remember the harsh word spoken about 100 years(assumption tho). If you observe such person you would realize he/she belongs to this category. Those friends that are always on cloud nine when you post them on any of your social media handles with lengthy praises to back it up. Yes those also fall in this category.
**Acts of Service:** This is one in which rendering a helping hand speaks volume for someone**.** Such person feels loved and cared for when his/her workload is eased. In contrary, unfulfilled promises or slothfulness can make such person feel unimportant. An example of such is Mr Banky W in my previous article.
**Receiving gifts:** This one in which a thoughtful gift lightens you up. Under this category are people that showering them with thoughtful gifts shows that they are loved to the core. On the other hand, fuzzy gifts and forgotten special occasions have the opposite impact. This love language isn’t necessarily materialistic, it could be as simple as receiving one favourite snack/drinks after a bad day. That one person that won't stop speaking or remembering a gift, if you observer such person falls under those category
**Quality time:** This is one in which giving them undivided attention makes them feel important. Example of such is Mrs W in my previous article.
**Physical touch**: This doesn't necessarily means romance. Holding hands, kisses, hugs, pecks and other touches are preferred way to show and receive love. Appropriate touches convey warmth and safety. Refusal to act as such leads to one under this category to feel unloved. For instance, some children prefer this especially in their adolescent stage. Also some friends preferred to be hugged instead of shaking hands with them when exchanging pleasantries.
With this I hope you can now tell between different types of love languages.
Myths & Facts about love languages
*It is believed that love languages only exist between couples.*
No, it doesn't. It also exist between;
**parents and their children;**
Child: (teary) my parents are never there for me, they are just never at home, all they ever did is shower me with tons of gifts and luxuries. That's not what I want.
Parents:(frustrated) what else do you want, we are trying our best to give you the best of everything, some children out there would kill just to have a glimpse of what you have!
Such misunderstanding is as a result of not under each others love languages.
Friends
Siblings
Coworkers/neighbors
Teachers & students/pupils. (*As the common saying a teaching career isn't just a career but a calling. To get along with your students/pupils you need to speak the language they understand.*)
Classmates, roommate etc.
*It is also believed that a person is only entitled to a love language*
Nope, a person can have more than one love language just as you can speak your dialect and English or any official language of your country.
Important of love language.
It fosters relationships.
From the talk with the W's in my previous article. Such misunderstanding between them could have led to a divorce. The lack of understanding each other's love languages is one of the major reasons why divorce rate skyrocket each year.
Probably, if you've taken your time to understand the love language of that friend/girlfriend/ boyfriend of yours both of you might still be together.
Perhaps, if you've taken your time to understand your grandparents, parents, children, siblings or cousins' love languages you all might not end up in disagreement every now and then.
One of the keys to any successful *-ship(* *relationship, friendship, parentship...)* is love language.
Conclusion
Phew! Finally I'm done. Apologizes that it's lengthy, I don't want to have to write a part 3 of this, that's why, so as not to bore you all.
***Thank you all for reading up till now and following through from the very first one, your views, likes, upvotes and comments, gingered me to write this one. I really appreciate and I don't take you all for granted.***
@Tomi-Ajax to answer your question, the other one is words of affirmation😉.
Love languages
Yeah it's me again the inconsistent writer😄. I really don't have an excuse to make because I know everyone here has a life too outside this wall. But please do pardon me for my on and off attitude, I will change with time,pinky fingers🤙🏻. Thanks for understanding🤗.
So with that said let's dive right into today's article.
Sometime ago...
I was scrolling through YouTube and I came across a video of Adesuwa Etomi(now Mrs Banky) and Bankole Wellington's (popularly known as Banky W) video.
Brief one about the couple
They are couple celebrity here in Nigeria. They were both celebrities before they got married. While Adesuwa was an actress who had featured in a lot of movies and won lots of awards for her roles in different movies, Banky W was a song writer and musician who graduated as an engineer in a university outside Nigeria (they both did actually) but one way or the other ended up as a musician. They came together and made an awesome couple(both are now into music as well as acting)
Image source: myjoyonline.com https://www.myjoyonline.com/banky-w-adesua-etomi-welcome-baby-boy/
One of the interesting movies they both acted in that I think you should watch is ***the wedding party.***
Image source : Wikipedia https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wedding_Party_(2016_film)
**Back to the video.**
In the video, they shared some of their marriage experiences and struggles so far especially during the period they were looking to God for a child. As interesting as it is to watch/talk about couple celebrity who were being honest about their being together and not being showy about only the sweetness in their marriage, I will only be writing a part of the video that relates with the title of this article.
Let's hear from the horses' mouths...
Banky W: Marriage is not beans, prior to our marriage, Adesuwa came to talk to me about love languages. Being the strong intelligent ignorant coconut head Afican man that I am. I said please please please I don't believe in all these, I love you, you love me, let's move on.
Adesuwa: (she stated the 5 major love languages there is -I will be talking on those soonest). I was trying to have a conversation with him about how I like to be loved. He gave the reply as stated above. And I was like it's really important because what happens is that you start speaking a language that the other person doesn't understand. Now my love language is ***quality time***, you can't say you love me and not spend time with me, you can buy me everything...
Banky W: (interrupted) which I tried to do.
Adesuwa: (cuts in) and it doesn't work for me, that's not my love language but his love language is ***acts of service***. There was a particular time at home, we were not fighting but it was like a cold war, you know when you're not really saying anything but with the attitudes you can already tell that something is going on. He was really busy doing that period, I think it was during the election campaign time, so he was going out a lot and I was just like campaign is great, i'm really happy for you and I support you 150%, but you can't not just spend time with your family?
Prior to that he has been speaking his love language, that is ***acts of service***, he would wake up early and make breakfast for me, arrange the house and the likes. I was like that's great but you're still not speaking my language. By then he was already getting frustrated, you know in the sense that he is trying to show that he loves me but I wasn't buying that.
Banky W: so on this particular day I tried to make breakfast for her, arrange some couple of things in the house and I was getting ready but she was still in the mood and I was like what's wrong with this woman, you know i'm trying, i'm into business, i'm campaigning and i'm still doing some stuff for you and you're till carrying strong face for me. At that point I was vexed and it has gotten to the point of if we are going to fight let's fight.
I was in the bathroom and I was getting ready to go when God spoke to me and said *"you know you're speaking different languages and I froze and he said it's like two people arguing,one person is speaking Greek and the other is speaking Chinese. You're not hearing each other because you're speaking different languages. In your act of service, you've been speaking your language, how about you speak hers because out of everything you're doing, the one thing you are not giving her is the one thing she understands because when you're not spending time with her she feels like you don't love her".*
I heard and I froze and repented right there, took my shirt and tie off and said you know what? let me cancel my meetings and I got into bed and I held my wife and she bursted out into tears No word needed to be spoken.
Awwn! What an amazing session with the W's.
Well I would have loved to complete this in a single article but at this point, it's best to continue in another article in order not to bore you and I won't like to exceed a 4mins read(sadly, I already did).
In the next article I will be sheding more light on love languages, lessons from the short videos, etc.
***Do anticipate.***
*I also look forward to your comment, lessons learned and opinions on the short scene shared above.*
*Thanks for reading to this point, your view is very much appreciated.*
Styles of parenting
I remember one of the first topics we did back then in SS1 specifically civic education was type of parenting (or something of such) ever since we've been taught the topic, I have been on the look out to find out about the parenting types in reality.
A short story.
Today while in church, a girl brought a puppy to the children department, I was shocked to see it but then I kept quiet, I only made sure that others, who by then have gotten carried away by the dog,attention was brought back to what we were talking about before the girl walked in.
Few minutes into the continuation of what we were discussing, the mother walked in surprised to see the girl with the puppy. She then asked her why she brought it to church and the daughter pointed to her elder sister who was also sitting close by saying it was her(elder sister) who told her to bring it along.
The woman started rebuking them both and threatened to give them Tfare to return the dog, knowing that their house is quite far. Well she later pardoned them and let them keep it.
Not long after that, a parent came and started asking after the puppy, saying her children ran from the children department because of a dog, so she came to verify for herself why there is a dog in the class. When she found it with one of the girls she threatened to kill the dog and even blamed we the teachers for allowing such (we didn't but since the mother has reproved them we didn't think it was necessary for us to do that again), when she was done talking she left, we later found out from the teacher who teaches her children's class that her children were never in class to begin with, even before the girl came in with the puppy. (This department can be frustrating at times😄)
Well, after that the girl's mother, who i think must have sensed what the other woman came for, came to collect the puppy and took it to the car with windows down and asked the girls' younger brother to sit with it in the car.
They came in a car?!
Yes they did which simply means an adult was aware that the children took the puppy with them, I mean they can't drive on their own someone definitely drove them down and it turned out to be their father.
Surprised,right?
Seeing the way their mother reproved them only shows that she won't allow such but their father did. And in my conclusion with everything that happened today, he is to blame, these children didn't know that what they were about to do before they left home was wrong but i'm sure he does and he didn't reprimand them for such.
And this leads me to the title of this article.
Styles of parenting
We all know that training/raising a child doesn't come with a manual, if it does i'm sure raising children will be an easy walk. There are four known style/type of parenting. And they include;
**Permissive Parent:** This is the type of parent who allows children decide for themselves, hardly set rules, they are highly responsive and low demanding. They go the extreme to make they children happy and play a friendship role rather than a parenting role.
Examples of such; the father in the story above.
**Neglectful parent**: This is the type of parent who never have time for their children, they allow their children fend for themselves, they are low demanding and low in responsiveness. They don't even bother about rules. They can be known as the I don't care kind of parent. This type of parenting is most common in Africa where couples give birth to lot of children and leave them to fend for themselves. Under this type we have the owanbe parents who will rather spend their money buying expensive party clothes than fend for or send their children to school.
**Authoritative parent:** This is the type of parent who communicate with their children from time to time, they take into thought their children's opinion and emotions, they are highly responsive and highly demanding, they make rules and expectations while also being pliable and understanding. Under this type we have parents who allow they children go through natural consequences and use such opportunities to teach their children. Children under this parenting tend to be discipline and have a mind of their own.
Examples of such parent I can think of is Sonya Carson, mother of the famous neurosurgeon Ben Carson(found out about this in his book **think big**)
**Authoritarian parent:** This is the type of parenting where communication is mostly one-way, that is from the parent. They set strict rules with little to no consideration of their children's thoughts, emotions or feelings. They are highly demanding and low in responsiveness. Also known as the no nonsense parents. Under this type are children who see their parents coming and run for dear life😄. I really don't need to give an instance, most of us can relate with this, especially here in Africa.
Which is the best style of parenting?
Well for me, I would go for Authoritative parenting but as the common saying goes one road/way doesn't lead to the market. The best would probably be knowing when to switch from one parenting style to another.
Conclusion
What your thought on the best style of parenting? And which style were you brought up with? Also which style would you raise your children with?
***I look forward to your comments.***
***And thank you for taking your precious time to read through this.***
*And don't mind the* ***today*** *in the story above I started typing this an hour or two to 12am. I don't want to change it tho.*
Getting better
Happy new month from me to you💃🏻, I know it's coming late, but it's better late than never.
It's been four days, I have been here last and it looks like forever to me. Being a newbie(I don't think that counts anymore since i'm now one month plus user🕺🏽) not being consistent is a bad thing to start with. I do try to be but then there are lot more things outside this wall and it's so difficult to keep up with all, never the less I just have to find a way around it.
Let's dive right into today's article.
Like I said earlier, i'm now a month plus user. My first article here was titled **getting started** where I wrote about my experience, how I found it difficult to start out, you should check out if you haven't, especially if you're a first timer here, it should be of help with starting your journey here. https://read.cash/@Tobias00/getting-started-2be20307
Why the title getting better?
Well, this is basically just an article to recount my one month journey on this platform.
I had preciously thought about what to write but honestly nothing is coming to mind but while looking through my previous articles and I decided to settle for a continuous version of my first article with a title suggested by a friend.
Having written the first article I felt relaxed a bit that I did something I thought I couldn't, I was told to go ahead and write the second one, the very next day or so. I was kind of terrified then because i didn't know i have to keep writing back to back as such.
Well I wrote the second one, it wasn't as encouraging as the first, I blamed myself because I thought I had the whole thing in my head but I didn't just expressed it well in words. https://read.cash/@Tobias00/more-than-they-say-or-assume-344feea0
I went ahead and met with friends I made here, asked them how they fare well on this platform. They were of great help, they gave me a few hint which are engaging, upvoting and subscribing to others article. They also recommended users whose articles would be of help. For instance @Aimure whose article on how to use readcash features and tools helped me get familiarized with readcash environment and has made writing an easy walk. They also told me the dos and don'ts of the platform. https://read.cash/@Aimure/how-to-use-readcash-its-features-and-tools-for-better-experience-part-1-2f3562f8
What challenges have I encountered so far?
They're not much of challenges tho.
It's been easy subscribing to other writers but it hasn't been easy engaging on articles like i would like to. With the amount of writers I have subscribed to, my notification bell is always in red no matter how hard I try to make it colorless.
Also the feeling of intimidation😄( not really) when i see others publish article day by day and they got paid for it. I used to feel bad about it until I read newbie delight the road to success on readcash by one of the big bosses on this platform. https://read.cash/@Fexonice1/newbie-delight-the-road-to-success-on-readcash-f1a08aed
Also, when I see other newbies who are also now one month plus users have 50+ subscribers and I don't have up to that knowing i'm also on the same page with them, but then I realized it has to do with consistency and engaging on others articles which I haven't really been doing.
What lessons have I learned so far?
I learned that read cash isn't just about writing and getting paid. There is much more to it than that.
I learned that if you want others to be there for you, you've got to be there for them. That's the essence of engaging in others article.
I learned that we are limitless, we are only limited by the barriers we create for ourselves. That's the essence of the non-tolerance for plagiarism. Who could have thought one could come up with ideas without someone else's work involved especially in the era where search engines are at one disposal?🤷🏽♀ well maybe me
I learned that the more one write the more easier it becomes. When I started I spend 3hours or so writing but now the timing has reduced.
It's has also helped me in improving my writing and thinking skills(if there is anything as such).
And lot more but I will stop here for now.
Have I really been getting better?
Well, so far I have written 10 articles for the month of April. I will say I have gotten better by 45%(rough estimate) not much but it means something to me comparing to the first time I was here. And I hope to write much more this month.
Conclusion.
Having said all that maybe in the nearest future there will be a much more getting better version of this but for now I will drop my pen or let's say remove my fingers off my keypad.
***Thank you all for reading to this point***
Self-imposed kidnapping.
Went for a gathering today where we all were strangers, it was an open place meeting at a park.
After the meeting everyone departed and we all went our separate ways.
On my way home,I found out that two others(a guy and a lady) from the meeting were also heading in the direction I was going, so we bordered bus together to our first stop.
When we alighted, the lady said she wanted to withdraw money using ATM while the guy said he wanted to transfer money to someone using the ATM as well.
Well, for me I didn't have anything to do with the bank and I wanted to be on my way, when the guy asked if i would like to go with them, I Initially wanted to decline but as courtesy to show appreciation for the payment of the bus we alighted from (the guy paid), I decided to go with them since the bank is also in an open area.
The gist.
On our way going the lady started talking about how she doesn't want to use POS because of the experienced her mom had using such transaction. She said she was in school the day her mom called her to asked if she transferred money from her account and she wondered how she who was in school magically got home to transfer money from her mom's account. We all laughed while she continued. She said she told her mom no and her mom also asked her other siblings who gave the same answer. It was later found out after her mom took the issue to the bank that it was the POS merchant she used that performed such act of withdrawing a sum of #150,000 from her bank account.
When she mentioned the amount I was surprised and I asked her that for her mom to call them, did she expect them to withdraw such a huge amount from her bank? She replied no but then she herself doesn't trust her brother when it comes to money. Then she began another story
Continuation
She said her brother once called from school and told their dad that he wanted to do a project and the father transfered 100k initially and the brother claimed that he hadn't seen it, the father transfered another one, making a sum of 200k. The father then later went to the bank and began fighting with them over the unseen money as claimed by the son. And the bank revealed that the person who the money was transferred to did see it and there was confusion in the air.
The brother later revealed that he did see the money that he only did that to extort from his father. The father out of anger over the way he went to embarrass himself at the bank told the son not to return back home from school. It was later said that the mother was the one who solved the issue. As the lady would conclude it, she said her father actually deserved it that it's hard to get a penny from him. From my part it's a wow!
After they had finished from the bank
When they were done, we continued on our journey. I can't remember what initiated this conversation.
She started telling us about how her sister's phone was stolen from her bag while it was on her shoulder and she cried for 3days before her mom offered to get her another one.
She also said she and her mom has been robbed before with their phones taking from them, according to her she said it's not the phones that was painful but the sum of money they withdrew from the bank using their ATM cards.
While we were at the bank, waiting for the guy to finish up, she had told me of one of her aunties who had a store where she have employees.
My POV
I was just wowed!!!
From everything she had said I don't need any other inform to know that her family is wealthy. Yes, it might just be a way of pretending to be from a wealthy home but from all that, she has put herself in trouble.
one could easily just kidnap her at the moment as a bait to get money from her family.
I mean who shares one's family details with strangers without caution.
Yes it's ok to want to be the spot light of a journey, still there are other things that could have been said that we all could gain from other than unconsciously sharing one's family details. Especially in the world where everyone wants to make hell of money as soon as possible in the easiest way possible.
Well, maybe I was just over thinking it. That's just my thoughts tho. Maybe that's the way people do but for me it was a new experience.
***Let's hear your pov(point of view)***
*Thanks for reading up till now, I look forward to knowing your thought on this*.
Shine your light.
Seated on the couch, legs stretched out while i lean backwards with my earpiece pucked in and eyes closed lost in the lyrics of the song I was listening to.
It's a Christian hip hop song by Mike Abdul ft David karnji and A'dam. Title: Kneel Down.
How does the song relate with the article's title? Let's see
Part of the chorus goes thus;
*No one lights a candle and hides it under the table.*
*So shine your light for the world to see Let them see*
The rest of the chores are in Yoruba (one of the languages we speak here in Nigeria).
Few days back, I visited IG and came across a post.
Listening to the song actually took me back to the post, with eyes closed I mediated and pondered on it. And I came up with words to my younger self which would be ***Shine your light****.*
I remember when I was younger I was just always too shy and scared to come out of my shell and show what I'm made up of, even though I knew I could do it, I would rather sit back and watch others do it while I cheer them up.
Then, I felt there were others who could do what I can do far better than I, so why not leave it to them?
I didn't know, we were all created for a purpose and we are all meant to shine our light differently. Some will shine brighter than others and it's no big deal because no matter how little a candle emits light, it will still brighten up it's surrounding.
Just like a tree can't make up a forest, so also a single candle light can't brighten a room, it will take a whole lot of them to do the job.
Have you ever been in a gathering before where a lot of candles are lighted or phones' touch are used in place of candles? Yeah, you see how memorizing such beautiful moments are?
I realize this is how we all are meant to contribute our quota to the world's brightness. We all have different roles and purposes to play.
A lot of us have gotten in us what the world have been waiting so long for, don't hide it, let the world see.
Some are meant to be the light that will lead others out of darkness, if they don't light up those they are meant to lead will perish.
There maybe discouragements here and there especially from people, that maybe hindering us from lighting up. In the word of Will Smith( in a movie tho)
''hey! Don't ever let somebody tell you, you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it, people can't do something themselves, they want to tell you, you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period!"
Refuse to be a voice in the background, shine your light let the world see.
Conclusion
With that said, back to the post I saw on IG.
***If you're to go back in time, what would you tell your younger self?***
*Remember, it's not too late to work on the message you have for your younger self.*
Thanks for reading to this point.
Empathetic leadership
Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position.
Wikipedia https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy
Types of empathy
**Affective empathy**: This is the ability to understand another person's emotions and respond appropriately. For instance, empathizing with someone who just lost a love one.
**Somatic empathy**: This is having a sort of physical reaction in response to what someone else is experiencing. For instance, empathizing with someone who is being tortured or injured or feeling embarrassed on behave of someone who is being embarrassed.
**Cognitive empathy**: The act of being able to understand another person's mental state and what they might be thinking in response to the situation. It's otherwise known as theory of mind in psychology.
Difference between empathy,compassion and sympathy
While sympathy and compassion are related to empathy, there are important differences.
Compassion and sympathy are often thought to involve more of a passive connection, while empathy generally involves a much more active attempt to understand another person.
What leadership is not
Leadership has nothing to do with seniority or one’s position in the hierarchy of a company, church,mosque, school or even within classroom walls.
Leadership has nothing to do with titles.
Leadership has nothing to do with personal attributes.
Leadership isn’t management**.**
Then,what exactly is leadership?
Let find out from famous men of our time.
**Peter Drucker**: “The only definition of a leader is someone who has followers.”
**Warren Bennis:** “Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.”
**Bill Gates:** “As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.”
**John Maxwell:** “Leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less.”
Leadership
Leadership is a process of social influence, which maximizes the efforts of others, towards the achievement of a goal.
forbes https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinkruse/2013/04/09/what-is-leadership/?sh=11b14c855b90
Having known the base of the words that make up *empathetic leadership.* Let's now look into the word itself.
What is empathetic leadership all about?
It is one of the values of leadership.
Empathetic leadership is a style of leadership that focuses on identifying with others and understanding their point of view.
Tonyrobbins https://www.tonyrobbins.com/what-is-leadership/empathetic-leadership-style/
Empathetic leadership means having the ability to understand the needs of others, and being aware of their feelings and thoughts.
Ccl https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/empathy-in-the-workplace-a-tool-for-effective-leadership/
Over the years, I have come to realize that one of the qualities of a successful leader is being a person-focused and being able to work well with people from different spheres of life.
The ability to be compassionate and connect with others is critical to our lives both personally and professionally.
Demonstrating empathy at work, social gatherings or during school project is a key part of emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness which also improves human interactions in general and can lead to more effective communication and positive outcomes.
One of the misconceptions about being a leader is that it's an opportunity to be served but in the real sense of it, it's a call to serve others.
Another of such, is it brings about respect but the truth is, respect is not to be brought but to be earned. One of the ways to earn it is by being an empathic leader.
How then can you empathize with others in order to skyrocket your leadership value?
Work on listening to people without interrupting.
Pay attention to body language and other types of nonverbal communication.
Try to understand people, even when you don't agree with them.
Ask people questions to learn more about them.
Imagine yourself in another person's shoes.
Conclusion
Having said all these, I believe that it will be of help in your leadership journey and there is assurance that I will see you at the top.
Vote of thanks
***My appreciation goes to everyone who took out of their busy schedule to celebrate me on my birthday in my previous*** ***article*** ***,the upvotes, comments,likes and views, all are not taken for granted.*** https://read.cash/@Tobias00/birthday-gift-df969b2d
***Also to my sponsors, I couldn't have gotten this far (now 1month old here🥳💃🏻)without you blessed humans.***
***To*** @Ellawrites ***who noticed I haven't published for awhile and checked up me and to*** @Tomi-Ajax ***who ginger me to keep going. You guys are friends indeed. Thank you for all you do.***
Birthday Gift
I got inspired to write this while I was in the bathroom 2 days to my birthday, so I recorded it instead of writing it down since I was taking my bath then and I was using my phone's touch. An idea gotten all thanks to this article by @Ellawrites . https://read.cash/@Ellawrites/write-immediately-the-inspiration-comes-21f27ee1
I pondered on publishing it tho, because i'm not the type who talks about herself, like I said in my introductory article here, you might probably want to check it out. Although, i'm learning. https://read.cash/@Tobias00/getting-started-0fb95e2c
Let's dive right in
So that particular year I heard a message by Pastor E.A Adeboye, the General Overseer of The Redeemed Christian Church of God. In the message he said God is so interested in you that He remembers your birthday even when your earthly parents forgot(Not the exact way he said it but something like this).
Being an inquisitive person who doesn't know how to ask people for birthday gifts nor talk about her birthday, and I felt it'd be much easier for me than posting a birthday to-do list on social media, so I decided to put the statement to test because I never believed God has a thing such as my birthday in mind, when He has a whole lot of more important things to attend to. Prior to that year, I had always celebrated my bday just as any other normal day.
So that day I took a journal and I began penning things I wanted Him to do on or before my birthday. So as not to overdo it, I penned down 21 things since my birthday was on the 21st. After that day I only checked on the journal once in a blue moon and I went about my normal activities.
Fast forward to the bday.
As at when I did that, I was an admission seeker who was tagged as Jamb customer. I wrote an article on that, you might want to check it out. Yes, you guessed right. https://read.cash/@Tobias00/dear-jambite-78f5a459
First on the list was to gain admission for my course of choice and that I wanted Jamb to congratulate me itself since all I have gotten from that exam body was disappointments.
On my birthday, I never posted on any SM nor told people about it but I was shocked to wake up to my name being tagged on a WhatsApp group I belonged to and several messages in my DM. I was scared because I thought I had done something wrong.
On opening the group, the first message I saw was 'who is so so so', while I wasn't online, others who knew me had tagged me and had inquired to know why he was asking. Then he replied by saying my name was the first and only name that had appeared on jamb admission list for my department, others had gone to verify, some even sent screenshots. I was excited when I read through and of course I went to my CAPS, to verify and confirm the admission too.
Coincidental?
It's hard to believe, I had also thought it was probably coincidental but 4 months after my birthday had passed. My name remained the only one on the list, even those who cut off point were far much higher than mine were yet to be on the list. Some their parents started getting worried, some came to my dm to ask for the juju(charm) I used, etc.
That's when it started setting in, that it was actually a birthday gift. It's a day I won't forget anytime soon.
Ever since then, I have a to-do list of what I want from Him as birthday gift and trust me He been faithful and it has been working. And now my birthday is something I looked forward to.
Were my other 20 requests granted? Yes they were, if I start writing about it all, I won't leave here anytime soon.
Yes! today is my birthday 💃🏻
Of course, there is a list that the contents have started manifestation.
Let me gist you a bit🤭
I woke up to birthday prayers, wishes and messages, some even asked for my bank account, some sent recharge cards on my WhatsApp, for a girl who didn't post/tell people about it. I was overwhelmed and I really wanted to show my gratitude to them. So, I sat with my mom and was planning on what to do. As at the time of planning God knows I had less than #100($0.24) in my account. Well, I just left it and went back replying messages on WhatsApp. Few minutes later, a friend asked for my bank account , lo and behold he sent the exact amount I needed to do what we were planning. And yes, it's part of what I wrote in my list.
***Truth be told, this has been my best birthday experience so far. It keeps getting better year by year.***
Conclusion
I don't know who this might be for, i just want you to know He is still in the business of granting birthday requests. Yes, it works, you can never know until you try.
If He can do mine, He can do yours as well.
***Thank you for reading to this point🤗, and I look forward to reading your birthday gift story as well☺.***
Forgiveness
**Forgiveness**, in a psychological sense, is the intentional and voluntary process by which one who may initially feel victimized, undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding a given offense, and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance
Wikipedia https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgiveness
**Forgiveness** means to stop blaming or being angry with someone for something that person has done, or not punishing them for something.
Cambridge https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/forgive
Forgiveness in the Bible is a “release” or a “dismissal” of something.
**Forms of forgiveness**
Unconditional forgiveness: This is said to be the highest form of forgiveness. As the name implies, it has to do with forgiving a person with no condition attached to starting the relationship afresh. That is,going about things as if the hurt never happened. The one we are familiar with as let bygones be bygones.
Conditional forgiveness: This is otherwise known as probational forgiveness. When the offender's trust is on probation.
Dismissive forgiveness: This is one in which the forgiver decide not to waste time, energy, or emotional space on the hurtful event and to put measures in place(boundaries, distance, or both)to ensure it never happens again.
It's a “whatever” attitude towards the hurt and just moving on with one's life in a positive direction.
it's involves terminating or intentionally reducing the closeness of a relationship. e.g quitting a job with a difficult boss or deciding to leave a dysfunctional marriage or partnership.
It is a decision that the offender no longer has the power to hurt you or the privilege of being a meaningful part of your life.
Grace: This is not ours to grant but (if you believe in God) God’s. For believers, God is the ultimate forgiver. And this form of forgiveness is the one we got through Jesus Christ. Reason for this season(Easter).
How can we forgive?
Address your inner pain: It’s important to figure out who has hurt you and how.
Develop a forgiving mind through empathy: Thinking about forgiving someone makes it much easier to go through the action itself in reality.
Find meaning in your suffering: For instance, someone who's a victim of rape can decide to advocate for others not to go through such.
When forgiveness is hard, call upon other strengths: One can go to one's secret place to pray about it, after all He said we should come to Him, all who are heavily laden. One can also seek support from trusted friends.
Forgive yourself: Forgiveness starts with you. Love yourself first that is why we are told to love our neighbor as ourselves not vice versa.
Develop a forgiving heart: Create a forgiving atmosphere around you.
Benefit of forgiveness
Forgiving a hurt can lead to the following
Improved mental health
Fewer symptoms of depression
Improved self-esteem
Less anxiety, stress and hostility
Improved heart health and immune system.
Healthier relationship.
My experience
Let me share my experience in order to spicy this up a bit.
On Saturday(16/04/22), we went for a walk as a church very early in the morning. When I woke up, I put on socks then a scarf on my head while I wrap its extending parts on my shoulders and I left for the walk.
As we continued, I was one of the officials and I was asked to video the event(we're much, more like battalion in training). Had to cross the road to have a full video. While doing that, the head coordinator jogged by me and shouted out to the woman that head my department saying "look at the way your official dressed like a boko haram". He was referring to the way i did my scarf. I laughed but deep down it hurts.
I don't get, can't I dress the way I want to without being called names? Boko haram of all names. Being reminded of it by others who were there after we were done, made it hurt more.
But then while I was pondering on it, I got reminded of how Christ (who was hurt and humiliated more than I was) on the cross at the point of death prayed to God to forgive his offenders because 'they don't know what they are doing'. Then, who I am not to forgive? I then realized that is the reason for this celebration of Easter.
Thank you for reading to this point and I hope you make use of this Easter celebration to forgive those who offend you too.
Happy Easter and a blessed week ahead.
Is domestic violence really the solution?
I write with a heart full of pain and sadness(close to tears, but no worries I will be fine). I don't really get, is resorting to violence really the way to solve issues?😟
I was just on WhatsApp few minutes ago and I came across a video on a group. In the video, a lady was seen being dragged away by a guy with her long braids while still beating her mercilessly 😡(not sure if they were married, it doesn't look like it). I really wish I could share the video here. Honestly it's painful, i'm a lady myself and I know how painful it is installing braids not to talk of being dragged around by it.
I mean what could she have done to warrant such ill treatment? And the most annoying thing is nobody was coming to her aid, instead they were filming it. What if she gave up the ghost? I know they might be trying to mind their businesses and all or they might have tried interfacing before and then it didn't go well. I don't just know, it so sad really😞.
Just few days ago, a Gospel singer was reported to have died from domestic violence. It was after the deed has been done that her co-singers came out to start warning people especially fellow Christians to walk out of toxic marriages/relationships before then all we heard was a woman has to make her marriage work. The common slang was if the marriage wasn't working, it's the fault of the woman. And this has made most women withstand toxic relationships even though it's killing them mentally, physically, spiritually, etc because of the fear of what the society will say or think about them.
I feel some male gender reading this right now might feel/think, *ehn ehn they've come again, when it comes to them we won't hear word😂 . Nobody is talking about the fact that men are also going through this violence.*
I know men go through this too, and i'm sorry you have to go through that and I know it hard to speak up because the society would think you're not man enough. But really, gone are the arrear of keeping mute when it's really breaking you inwardly. We are in the *soro soke* *generation🗣.* According to wikipedia *'*males die by suicide three to four times more often than do females'. Please speak up your mental health is important.
Although, in this article I will be focusing more on the female gender.
Origination of domestic violence from my POV
**From the family:** Any male child either elder or younger brother who grow up beating his sisters(elder or younger) will most likely end up being a woman beater. Hey! Don't get me wrong o, i'm not saying it's not good to discipline your siblings(younger siblings of course) but you know that moment they began turning into women(puberty development), yeah, it's time to change the course of things. Imagine a man of 28 years old being at war with his sister of 22years old all in the name of discipline( none of them would want to give in to the other). To me it's like beating one's wife because i'm sure that may be the age gap between couples.
**School, community/society**: At school or environment where a male child gets involve in fight with females every now and then, is also an example of where/how it all started out. Lack of respect for the opposite gender. Hey! Don't get me wrong, I know some girls can be very annoying but there are ways to deal with things like this. E.g reporting or walking away from the scene(easier said than done,right?) But it's very much possible.
These are the two reasons out of many that I think it all started from. Why didn't I add from the parents? Well I feel a man/boy who has been trained from childhood to respect girls, ladies and women will grow up with that in mind(and vice versa)
In summary
I feel there are better ways to resolve issues and communicate effectively without resorting to violence.
Let's me drop a hint.
Before you go ahead to do something especially something that hurts, first put yourself in the person's shoe. If I were him/her would I want to be treated, disciplined or communicated to like this? That's what the bible mean by **love your neighbor as yourself.**
Conclusion
I hope I have been able to pass a message across(hopefully 🙏🏽)
Thanks for reading to this point, I really do appreciate.
***And please do check out my previous articles you will find them enlighten as well.***
Is that all we are made for?
Today (10/04/22) was hectic, I hadn't really had time to sit by myself since morning except for now(10:48pm, i pray i finish this before 12am),it had been from one activity to the other. It's stressful but I thank God for the grace to be of use in the house of God. It's been awhile on this space(I have got tones of notifications😰, would take my time to go through them tho) tho my body is not in the mood to do anything at the moment but I have had it in mind to publish here today regardless. I don't even know if the title rhymes with the content but no better way to find out than doing the writing(I have had the topic saved up for awhile). So here I go😀.
One faithful evening
On a faithful evening, i was about going out but before stepping out, i went to meet my brother at the backyard of our house. I pleaded with him to assist with fetching water because we don't have electricity supply and by the time i would be back, the women selling water might not have any to sell.
Then a neighbor of ours heard our conversion and felt it was ok for her to meddle in. Then she began...
Neighbor: Ahn ahn, so your elder brother will be carrying water in the street?! no o, things ain't done like that, is that how you will do to your husband when you're married? (In my mind, I was like what's bad with him carrying water in the street🤷🏽♀, afterall he will use out of it.)
I tried to convince her, to make her see my point of view but she stood her ground on her idea and started telling me of how her husband doesn't assist in house chores and the rest of whatever she said. I just laughed it off and within me, I said everybody doesn't have to share the same mentality with you and your husband.
Astonished?
Was I surprise with such attitude of hers? No I wasn't. Why? Let me gist you a bit🤭
this Neighbor has two older kids out of 4, a son(9 years) and a daughter(10years). The son whose major house chores is to sweep and the daughter does the rest of the house chores.
This woman whenever she wants to discipline those two kids of hers. The convo goes thus.
**Neighbor whipping her daughter**: you're going to be a mother tomorrow(whip), you shouldn't be lazy(whip), you'll wake up early, cook for the family, bath your kids(whip), you will do a lot and you shouldn't be lagging from now (more whip).😂 (sorry I had to laugh, i'm always doing that whenever she starts because I don't just get).
**Neighbor whipping her son**: you're going to be a father(whip), have children, go to work(whip), pay school fee, make sure the family is financially OK(more whip).
Whenever such happens I laugh and feel bad about how those kids are being trained to view both gender. Shouldn't there be egalitarianism?
Is that all we are made for? Is that all we are called for? Isn't there much more to life than that?🤷🏽♀.
There is more where this came from but would love to stop here for now.
But it's everywhere she isn't the only one especially in the vicinity I reside and this get me thinking any time I experienced such.
Is this really all our purposes as male and female to end up being a father and mother respectively?
I just hope things change. And that these women realize that they are creating an inferiority complex for their girls who will beginning to think that they are meant to end up in the kitchen serving a man.
Gratitude
My vote of thanks goes to everyone who takes out of there precious time to read, like, comment and up vote my articles. You all are pillars of strength💪🏽. Thank you.
My very very special thanks goes to my new sponsor @MichaelBCH , thanks for trusting me on this. Same goes to @Ellawrites and @Tomi-Ajax .
Well turned out I didn't finish this before 12am but then I don't want to change a thing. It's a form of reminding myself in the nearest future of how I started out being a slow writer😂
Dear Jambite
I have been contemplating between publishing this article or another that i'm working on and i finally settled for this because the *almighty* *utme* exam is just by the corner(less than 30 days to the exam) and who knows maybe someone might find this useful.
First and Foremost...
I know in the world we are in presently, schooling is not really fancy like it used to be, especially in this part of the world where our leaders care less about education but still congratulations to have come of age to go into the higher institution(this might sound crazy😂 but it's true you're becoming an adult gradually and hope you know you're on your own when you finally get in😉). And to those who might have taken the exam a couple of time, i'm sorry you have to go through that who knows this might be your moment.
What does she know?
Well, you might be wondering what does she know to make her think she knows how it feels to have repeated an exam a couple of time. Yes, you're right, I know nothing at all i'm just learning myself but I do know what it feels like to be in that shoe because I have been there 😕
My experience.
Without beating around the bush, let me just go straight to the main reason this was published.
⚡I will be sharing bit of my experience with the exam.
⚡Tips on the exam that I have come to realized in my few years of taking it(that maybe useful in your forthcoming exam).
⚡And a bit of spur(if we can call it that tho because i'm hardly good at it)
So let's dive right in.
The journey all started in 2016, when I finished my secondary school.
While my friends were taking the famous utme form, I didn't because I thought the exam was quite different from waec and I needed a lot of months to prep for it, due to the way people talk about this Almighty exam(if only the school I attended had enlightened us about the exam, but nope they didn't, all they focused on was just waec, you know being a public school, I don't know if anyone here can relate) .
Although my family tried to make me take the exam, my mind was made up, I wasn't going to.
I started preparing for the 2017 version of the exam on my own from 2016, because I have always heard news about those who became the overall best in the exam and I wanted to be in that category too. I started my prep in july of 2016, without attending tutorial or anything as such, neither was it with the exam syllabus.
I sha read and read, treated past questions, I could remember vividly that I finished my biology past question before the exam, I visited my class mates that I knew were better than I in some of the subjects and the rest of what a student does while preparing for an exam.
I took 2017 jamb mock exam and I had 252, I wasn't satisfied with the score but I was happy that I could do better when the real exam comes.
To cut the long story short,exam day came, I was so ready for it, so I thought.
Wrote my exam,the result came out and I got the shock of my life, lol.
I had 210, I couldn't believe it. Oh my, oh my, I cried my eyes out, because I knew I read, I don't just understand what really transpired.
After my crying days were over and my family had done their best in consoling me, I was able to ginger myself back to my feet, knowing I picked Nigeria's premier university,UI. I sat up again and began reading for the university's postutme with such score😄🤦🏽♀(looking back I laugh at my own naivety)on my own, I was thinking maybe just maybe if I could just have a score of 100/100 maybe I would be considered for admission.😀 that's what misinformation caused.
I read like i won't read again, burnt candle even generator sef, nepa included and I prayed like ehn no be for here.
Omo exam came, sat for it.
1. I couldn't complete all the questions within the set time because honestly I didn't prep with timing in mind.
2. Tho the questions were simple I couldn't solve questions without the use of calculator because I didn't prep with that in mind as well.
And other things like that.
I sha got 52, again, I cried, lol.
I knew right then that they wouldn't give me my chosen course but I was hopeful maybe just maybe they could give me another course because mehn I don't want to sit at home while all my friends who wrote in 2016 had all been admitted for their courses of choice. So I don't want to be left behind.
Please i'm here to tell someone you're in no race with anyone but yourself.
I wasn't given any course, and I lost all hope because I thought I had done all I could to secure admission...
Yet to be completed.
It didn't end there(would not like to bore you in here)but if you would like to know what the outcome was, you can click the link below of an interview with an educational consult.
Continuation of my experience https://legitschoolgists.com.ng/i-wrote-jamb-four-consecutive-times-just-because-i-wanted-to-study-medicine-surgery-unilag-newly-admitted-student/
In case you're not a Nigerian or not familiar with Nigeria Educational system.
The Joint Admissions and Matriculations Board (JAMB) is **a Nigerian entrance examination board for tertiary-level institutions.**
The Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination(UTME) is a computer-based standardized examination for prospective undergraduates in Nigeria.
While **Jamb** is the governing body **utme** is the main exam.
Conclusion...
To anyone who has taken their time to go through the sent link, I hope you benefit from it and to those who couldn't but read to this point, thank you🤗.
Also @Ellawrites and @Tomi-Ajax ,thanks for the sponsorship, it means a whole lot🥰.
More than they say or assume.
Have you ever been in a community or organization where you're belittled?
Appreciation and recognition.
Before I proceed with this article my in-depth appreciation goes to @Tomi-Ajax @Ellawrites @Fexonice1 @MichaelBCH @Giddyboy @King_Gozie and everyone(I can't mention everyone's name,the support was massive and overwhelming) who took out of their time and busy schedule to read, like, comment and upvote my first article here. For a newbie I felt and still feel on cloud nine😄. Thank you all, I really appreciate and I don't take what you did for granted🙏🏽🙇🏻♀. You've all been sources of motivation. Pardon my manners, I didn't state in the article that i'm a lady😊
Sailing on⛴...
Have you ever been in a community or organization where you're belittled?
Growing up in a environment/community where all people see/say/assume is the opposite of who you are or who you will be, can be really demoralizing.
As teenagers we all had our moments. Yesterday(3/4/22) I was in a gathering, there we are expected to take children out for the forth coming easter camping(we've been on it for some time now). Having gone for the outing once myself I know how benefiting it was and the impact it had(still do) on me. Excited about the event I advocated for children and teenagers to go on the trip, because I really want them to experience what I experienced. Well, we were able to stir up quite a number of them to go for the trip, took their names down and presented it to the authority.
To my surprise, we were asked to start picking out some names from the list, those names where tagged not fit to be in such an event because those ones don't obey instructions, they were called the spoilt ones who lack home training. And since some other bigger people would be present in the event they don't want children that would go and tarnish our image. Wow! I was surprised because I thought our job is to reform these young ones and help them to see themselves beyond what the society think of them but instead we are doing exactly what the society is doing.
On the list are two boys, one whose father has gone to glory and another whose mother has also gone to glory. I myself can testify that these guys are stubborn but overtime I have come to relate with them because I was once like them(I used to be stubborn and I still do to some extent😄), I know how it feel like when people around don't understand you and just assume and also by applying some things i learnt from one of **Kenneth Hagin** books.
**The story I learned from in the book.**
After reading this, I realized it's true because one of those boys, was once always obeying and submissive when one of those in authority took him as a son and paid attention to him, I don't know what changed, the person became aggressive to him and he went back to being who he was known for.
Another of such is the ones on Twitter discovered by **chessinslums.eth**
Who could have ever thought that such a great mind would emerge from such hovel? I'm sure some people would have looked down on him while he was a bus conductor.
I have also had my share of such condemnation, if I were to add mine this would get longer than necessary. I'm certain most of us have our stories as well.
There is more to everyone than people(society) see, say or assume, if only they could treat others the way they want to be treated. If only they could believe in others the way they want to be believed in, then they would see others beyond the end of their noses.
Thank you for reading to this point. Your views are duly appreciated.
Oh! And if you don't mind I would like to know if you've experienced any form of condemnation🤗.
Getting Started
Here I am thinking deeply about how to get started on this platform(I've been doing that for some days now).
I'm a newbie here, introduced into this realm by an amazing friend of mine(@Tomi_ajax) who I really appreciate. I created an account here on march 25th and ever since it's been a kinda war on what to upload here and what not to.
Even now as I type I honestly don't have a clue on what exactly to say, i'm doing this now, all thanks to my friend who visited today and encouraged me to just get started. Because by this time last night(it's 9:04pm currently), I already gave up on writing anything here after I typed a lengthy story I was hoping to upload, after days of thinking but was advised not to since i'm just getting started that i needed some kind of intro, and i'm not good with introducing myself so I was clueless but here we are now😊.
Wait! Let's come to think of it. Why was I scared of getting started? 🤔
My thoughts were would my article or story be good enough? What would people have to say about it? Would I be judged? Would they benefit from it? How good am i as a writer?And the rest of what came to my mind then.
Presently...
I feel so good about this, just typing what comes to mind and letting it out and i'm like wow is not as difficult as I thought it would be😊. I'm glad i'm doing this.
So about me...
Well, i'm an undergraduate student of one of the prestigious universities here in Nigeria, i'm a lover of anything good, an introvert if I may add that( I so much love my space😁).
What else can i add to the intro?🤔
You see🤷🏽♀ I'm being honest when I said earlier that I suck at introducing myself🤦🏽♀. I sincerely don't know what else to say😄
Others...
So i guess this is the little I can do for now. Wow! I did it💪🏽. I was able to put some things together 💃🏻.
Thank you, yes I mean YOU! Thanks for reading up to this point.
I hope to do more of this on this platform while developing my writing skill and getting to meet and make more friends too🤗.
Continuation 🙁
I had hoped to conclude this article in the previous paragraph but after checking and asking my friend, I realized it's not up to 600 words or 3mins read yet😩, I have about 200 more words to go. so here we go again...
Your thought presently...
I presume you might be wondering right now that why didn't I just erase my initial conclusion? But nah I don't want to, I want you and those who will be reading this in the nearest future to see/know, what it was like for me to get started here and also for newbies like me to know that nobody started on a platter of gold, we all just had to get started and flow with it. And also to be a reminder to me of how I started out.
You might also want to know...
Yes! in case you might also be wandering, I showed this to my friend since it's my first article and he knows his way around here better than I do. And he gave me encouraging words **"you can do it"🤗.**
Clueless...
Ok, don't mind me i'm just trying to pass time and words in order to get to 3mins read.
Let's have a talk...
Since I am honestly running out of words presently 😄 because i'm already feeling sleepy(it's 10:56pm, life story of a newbie😄)but then I want to round this up before retiring for the day. I would have love to ask or start a conversation about what you know now that you wished you'd known while growing up?
Mine is wish I had known I could be anything I want to be as a child if i put my mind to it and not just limited to some things. Might write on this someday.
Finally💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
Like he said, I did it! 🕺🏽🥳 I surpass 600 words and got to 4mins read. Wawu! So I guess we are bringing this to a close. For you newbie reading this, just like me, put your fear aside and just **get started.**
For real this time, thank YOU for reading to this point, my heartfelt appreciation goes to YOU🙏🏽, you're valid!
Excited about publishing this🤭, let's see how it goes.
@Tobias00
