I took the test

"There's more than the bad things that happened" -nightbirde

Greetings to my wonderful sponsors. I always appreciate you all. God bless and stay healthy. 😘❤️

Today a lot of things happened. It's compose of good and bad things. But I want to remind myself of what nightbirde had said, that "there's more than the bad things that happened." And indeed it is. Bad things is part of life. Sometimes though we tend to see the bad things that cover up those good things behind it. Sometimes we fail to realize that there's more than those fine lines, that we call blessings. I hope we could appreciate and remind ourselves that " there's more than the bad things that happened".

My first day of march started blissful but of course we couldn't have those without experience some struggles. Life couldn't be more beautiful without it. My morning starts with a good news and I praise God he answered all my prayers and plant a hope within my doubtful heart. Within my worries and my pain. He reminded me today that He is working in my life little by little. And I believe yours as well. So, since he work his way through I work my part as well. Without second thought and without wasting time. I move letting things flow as it is. It's good to let things flow on its own ways. No worries, no frustration. To continue, I went downtown and took the test.

In between those times, I was tested as well. Physically,financially, and emotionally. The nurse that attended me get me irritated as her instructions wasn't clear and she seems off. She got this attitude that I don't like, not personally but the way she handled patients. She has this awra that tells you "since you need my service, I have more power over you" that feels. Not said but the actions says it all. I did not mind her at all. I am remain calm and obedient. You know what when you are showered with grace by the Lord you are all the more patient and kind. I waited for the urinalysis, the one that you need to pee for the test. When I told her I will pee. She told me am I sure? Cause if not she won't let me pee if it can't fill all the bottle that needed to be filled. I was hesitant, cause I don't know how big that bottle is. But feew more minutes I felt my kidney will blow any minute so I ask the nurses if I could pee. But they told me I will be assisted and the assistant was not there yet. Really? Oh my God. Still, I waited patiently trying to hold myself not to pee. Few minutes past, I already had goosebumps because of the urgency to pee. So I asked again. That moment I couldn't hold myself and I told them what I am feeling, my situation provoke me to be out of kindness and patient. The rest was history. To make the story short I peed and she told me to not stay longer in the comfort room and I told her I need a lot of time cause of I had a lot more urine to release. By the reason that they let me hold it for too long. After the test, and signing all the documents. I hurried myself out. I don't like the people there and I don't like how I become because of them.

Sometimes people will provoke you to become the worse version of yourself. Sometimes they are the reason why you will be out of your character and forget to become nice and polite. Please don't let them.

After letting myself breathe the air outside. I leave the place and forget everything. It doesn't ruined the mood. I don't want that to happen. Whatever the situation is, you are the one to decide how to handle it. I went straight to some place I wanted to visit to look for things I wanted to buy. Had some street foods to feed my hungry stomach and then head home.

I thought things will go smoothly. And things won't go wrong. My converted money from my earnings here was process successfully. I register for appointment tomorrow and I thought it will be successful too. But I'm wrong. I had a big mistake upon scheduling and I had separate schedule for different papers. I was out of myself and blame myself for such clamsiness that would cost me a lot of money. Good God, how can I be so fool. With much anger I hurt myself and cried it out.

Blaming doesn't do any good. It doesn't change things. So, I exercise proper breathing and tamed myself. Inhale, exhale. Breathe in, breathe out.

"It okay self. You tend to do lapses and it's not the end of the world."I say to myself. I calm myself and pacified by saying "I'm sorry self". After that I kneel down and pray.

Lord, take this feelings away from me. Heal myself. Forgive me. Let me forgive myself. I don't want this.

Few minutes of silence and I was okay.

Well, I may have different schedule for same agency but it's fine. My medical result would be out the same day as my next schedule. The Lord will put things in order. With faith I intrusted everything to the almighty God.

Today was a roller coaster emotions. But I have learned so much. From forgiving others to forgiving myself. From happiness that could spread more love and patients to anger and pacifying through praying.

My day end productive. More than the bad things that happened I believe I am blessed by the Lord. And that is more.

That would be all for today. Thank you for reading. God bless. Stay safe.