The Power Of Vulnerability

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2 years ago

Monday, 25th April

"If you cannot measure it, it doesn't exist"

For a while now, I've thought that there's a methodology to living and relating in the world and if that method can be understood, controlled or predicted, that if that method can be measured by way of understanding then life in itself, relating in the world as we know it would be less of a hassle. I've thought that it was possible to control and predicted human behaviour. Quite possibly to understand the human condition, why we are the way we are simply by reason of existence.

Boy, was I wrong!!!!

Now, I've grown to realise that in as much as we think we can control and predict human behaviour, it isn't always reality.

I'm learning now that our reason for our being, the reason why we are here, the reason we are who we are is simply Connection. The ability to feel connected to something, a belief, an idea or someone other than ourselves is what makes us who we are. Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives. Something we might not know we can have or realise is missing. But, in order for us to connect, in order for connection to happen we have to make ourselves seen. Really seen.

Now, this brings me to something else I'm learning. Shame. Shame in itself can mean different things to different people. It's relative to our struggles. To most others, Shame and fear is tantamount to excruciating vulnerability.

Shame- understand it to be the fear of disconnection. Shame is universal. The less you talk about shame, the more it grows.

So yeah, for connection to happen we have to make ourselves seen. To be really seen by others, by ourselves is to open ourselves up to the possibility of that by being Vulnerable.

Stay with me on this for a second...

So, shame boils down the feeling of worthiness or the lack thereof. Being worthy of connection or not. What people who feel worthy have in common (let's call them the Whole-hearted) is simply Worthiness, and what is that worthiness?

Worthiness- Having the courage of telling the story of who you really are with your whole heart, faults and all. Having the compassionate heart to see compassion in others and yourself. Having connection as a result of authenticity, which is unapologetically being yourself by way of embracing vulnerability.

Know this, vulnerability is the core of shame, fear and struggle for worthiness but it is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, love.

Trust me, I understand how scary it can be undertaking this particular journey of being vulnerable and even as we take on that journey, it isn't without its struggles.

We surely struggle with vulnerability in a plethora of ways. We do this sometimes by selectively numbing our emotions. By numbing vulnerability which we shouldn't do cause when we do that, we numb everything. Also, we do this by making the uncertain certain like we do we our beliefs and ideals of the world. We do this by perfecting. By perfecting, we refuse to acknowledge the imperfection that is, reality. We pretend too. We pretend like what we are doing doesn't have an effect on people. We choose not to see it.

On that note, I'll conclude this writeup by saying this;

Let ourselves be seen. Really seen.

Love with our whole heart even though there are no guarantees.

Practice love and joy in our daily lives.

Believe this; "I Am Enough"

Thank you very much for reading.

Image source: pixabay.com

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2 years ago

Comments

I love this writeup but I don't really agree that we need to be vulnerable to practice love whether to others or to ourselves. Total vulnerability is the reason why so many people get hurt, humans aren't predictable, we can't mostly choose who will hurt us or not, Being vulnerable to the wrong person is not something I'm sure anyone wants to experience.

Sometimes, we need to let our guard up and guide our feelings and emotions in order to practice self love. I think.

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2 years ago

This is a beautiful piece honestly .. from the start to the finish .. I think I understood the message you were trying to pass across thank you .. vulnerability is really a personal thing

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2 years ago

Vulnerability only shows that we are humans and are accustomed with different emotions and vulnerability is one of it.

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2 years ago