The thing that I struggle with the most...

The thing that I struggle with the most is CONFIDENCE.

There’s a feeling inside of me that I’m still unsure of my future. I have so many doubts about the things that I can do. The world seems too big and there are times I feel like I don’t exist.  I’m doubting myself and thinking that I’m going nowhere, that I cannot make it and it feels like I already failed.

There are times when people tell me that t they believe in me, and I get scared. It’s not because I don’t appreciate them and I don’t believe in myself also, but because they never see me at my lowest point. I keep all my failures. Not everything that they see is true, I always tend to say that I’m okay to shower out all of my frustrations over everything that is not going right. So, what if I fail them?

How I wish to be brave enough to tell people that their expectations drown me. That they put more weight on my shoulders and even give me a reason to doubt myself, that they make me scared of failing.

How I wish that I could tell them what I need are the silent cheers. The tap on the back, a prayer that gives me strength and the assurance that whatever happens and whatever it takes to all my battles in life they will end up crying on my way home, feeling their arms wrapping up to my shoulders and still be waiting to celebrate with me.

But then I realized…

That feeling of being scared that struggles me the most is somehow a beautiful thing to experience. That there are stages in my life that feel challenging, this could be a reason that we push ourselves to exceed what I have already accomplished and achieved.  So if confidence is a problem nowadays, then that’s then it makes me strive and push forward.

I should not let the expectations and opinions of other people affect me with all my decisions in life. It’s my life after all, not theirs. I should do what matters to me the most I should not let the expectations and ideas of others limit who I am. Because if I let them tell me what the things I should do and limit myself to do so because of their expectations, I’m living their reality not mine.

There is more to life than pleasing other people. There is more to life than following others’ prescribed paths. There is more about life than we can experience. You need to decide who you are not for other people but for yourself.

Be confident enough about yourself, you made this so far!

How about you? is there something that scares you the most?

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