Why Parents See Their Children As Their Retirement Plan?

“My children didn't choose to be born. I choose to have children. They owe me nothing. I owe them everything. ”

- Elon Mask

I've always wondering why parents in the Philippines are viewing their child as their retirement plan. It's a Toxic Filipino culture that still continues until the present times.

My mom and i had multiple arguments about this topic, and 'til now we've been arguing who's the person between her and my older sister has responsibilities to supports my needs and tuition fee when i turn into college. She's always saying to my older sister this line — “Kapag nakapag tapos ka na, ikaw ng bahala sa kapatid mong si (my name) kapag nasa college na.” Hell no, passing their responsibilities to my older sister na 'tumatayong panganay.'

Another thing, we've always fighting of my mom when she's always saying that we, her children, are obliged to pay back when we're working and earning for ourselves. “natural pinalaki ko kayo” — her infinitely reason over and over.

It's an exhausting to explain and complain that she must not pass their responsibilities nor believe that i owe everything i have right now. I don't owe my life in my mom, everything that i have right now. She chose this, she chose to born me and gave everything on me.

Literally guilt-tripping, saying to your child that “kayod ako ng kayod para lang mabuhay ka, tapos hindi mo man lang ako tutulungan pagtanda mo.” What the hell is that perception when you know in the first place that 'your child ain't ask you to born in this world'?

Second kind of guilt-tripping, words of encouragement. “Anak, magtapos ka ng pag-aaral. Ikaw nalang pag-asa namin dahil mga kuya mo —” That's still guilt-tripping, encouraging with the words “ikaw nalang pag-asa namin”? Still, manipulation.

Please, those thingy are a selfish move.

Because you just raised your kids, then it does mean that they're automatically obligated to pay back and walk as your retirement fund?

No, please.

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If parents see their child as a walking retirement plan, then the idea is 'the parents are constantly love their child when they could/will do something to parents benefits.'

Children shouldn't ever be responsible to their parents. If they give any help to their parents, it should be voluntary. And parents should be grateful if the child is voluntarily doing the 'pay back'. But if not, then it's still great.

No one is responsible to our life except us.

So to all parents that have read this, you need to let your kids laugh at their freedom. Don't be a burden to them. Don't be the driver of their depression, don't be the reason to work them in the job that they did not want. Be a true parent to your kids, please.

And to all future parents out there, when you choose to have kids, don't use the card “para may mag-alaga saakin pagtanda.”

It must be, we choose to have kids because we wanted to experience the joy of raising a child, not a retirement plan.