Christmas Won't Be The Same But I Am Happy You Are Now Safe

Who would not be excited for Christmas season? Everyone is waiting for this special day. Once we reached the start of BER months which is September, most of us are excited with the Christmas countdown.

But this Christmas will be the loneliest Christmas because our mother is no longer here to celbrate with us. It won't be the same without her. But I cannot forget those memories we have with her.

Of course, we should remember that Christmas is the day that the Christ was born. We will not exist if not for him. Let us thank God for the Christmas day and even everyday. It is all because of him. The spirit of Christmas is by giving and forgiving.

When I Was A Kid

Kids are the happiest during Christmas. They received gifts from their Godparents and even family as well.

Every Christmas season, my mother would buy me a new dress for the Christmas party in school. I will also wear it during Christmas day.

I made efforts in buying a nice gift for our exchange gifts in school. At the same time, I was also expecting a nice gift to receive.

But most of the time, reality hurts. I was expecting something but I will just receive others that I did not requested and which was less than the amount that we agreed upon.

I remember one of my classmates in elementary. I can still remember his name He was Orlando. My classmates said that he was rich. So during the exchange of gifts, he told us that he wanted a snake and ladder toy worth P50.00. Luckily, I got his name. I bought him that toy which was higher than the amount that we agreed upon. I looked from different stores to buy that exact toy that he wanted because I want him to use and enjoy my gift.

Then I found out that he got my name too. So I was excited because I expected a lot from him. I wanted a 'ping-pong" which was also P50.00 because I saw it in the market and its price.

I was also expecting an expensive gift knowing that he was rich. If it was not ping-pong, a badminton will do.

When our Christmas party happened and we exchanged gifts, he was happy with what he received from me. Then, when I receive the gift from him, I was also excited to open it. But to my surprise, his gift were school supplies and when l computed the total price of his gift, it did not reach the amount of P50.00.

School supplies are useful but since we were told by our teacher to write down the gifts we want to receive, I already mentioned that whoever got my name, a toy was what I prefer.

I felt bad with his gift Maybe it was my fault too because I was expecting from him.

During Christmas season, me and my cousins will go to our godparents and relatives for oir Christmas presents. I gave the money to my mother.

But when I grew up, i just stayed at home during Christmas but I still received presents from relatives and I kept the money by myself. I am already embarassed to go to houses to ask for presents.

First Christmas Without Her

But now, I am not excited for this coming Christmas. This is the first Christmas without my mother. Until now, I cannot believe that my mother is gone. It felt like she was just in the province enjoying with her relatives. We are now incomplete.

I know we are trying hard to be strong. I can feel it for my father. He is now the mother and father at home. I know his depression is still there every day. He decides what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He missed his wife, our mother. That is why whenever he was invited by his friends for a drink, I also wanted him to go. This isp for him to sleep fast after drinking. That he might forget his loneliness for the meantime. He is always on his bed most of the time playing games and watching videos using his cellphone.

I know my youngest brother missed my mother also. He is not showy with his feelings but whenver he is drunk, that is the time he will talk about our mother. I know how he missed our mother.

For myself, I still missed our mother. I can say that the quarantine we had with my whole family made us strong because we forgot the loneliness for a while. We have made a stronger bonding which made us happy even without our mother.

Now that Christmas is coming, I don't know how are we going to celebrate. My sister has her own family so I know that they will stsy in their house at 12am. My father, my younger brother and my son will be celebrating Christmas at home. My partner will also come if he has no duty. But I missed the previous cepebration with our mother. She will cook pasta, hotdogs, ham. lumpia and she will do it all by herself. Even it was just my parents, my son and my brother who celbrted last year, I still felt happy because we are complete. We are healthy.

But like what I've said, God has plans. He has better plans for us. I know I should not worry but I can't help thinking how are we going to survive. I am not sure how will this Christmas feels without our mother. December is also her birthday.

My Final Say

But there are still reasons to celebrate Christmas and life. I still have my family. There is my father, my sister, my brothers, my son, of course and my partner. I have my nieces and nephews and relatives and friemds. It may not be the same as before but we just need to live and love. I still have reasons to celebrate.

Thank you scottchbusiness, Yzza0625 and Olasquare for the sponsorships. You inspire me to write more.

Happy reading everyone.