Could have been

After 20 yrs, here we are chatting like it just happened yesterday.

Migs: I am sorry Anne If I was not able to fulfil my promises. If only I could turn back time...

I Met Migs when I was in my 4th-year High school. That was 2001. He was one of the missionaries sent to our province to evangelize. Since our province was around 10 hours from Manila, locals were very excited to meet new people from the city.

We were very happy waiting for them to arrive. As a leader of the youth group, we were in charge to help them with their activities in the province.

Then suddenly, a white Toyota Hiace Van stopped. Four young men around 21 to 25 years of age came out from the van, An African and 3 Filipinos. They introduced themselves and so are we. But Migs caught my attention. He was smiling at me, a 5'9 tall, typical Filipino colour and ahhhh yeah, good looking. Made my heart flutter a bit.

I was the on-call girl during their stay, miss hospitable awardee of the Philippines 😄 I can still remember every time he called my name when he needed something.

-Hey, Anne could you come with me to go to this barangay to distribute this magazine and reach out.

-Anne, could you accompany us to buy some stuff.

-By the way Anne, we will be needing some materials for kids could you help us do these things.

-Anne, can you teach me to cook Pinakbet?

Days went by so fast, I was not aware that every time he calls my name, my heart flutters a little more than usual. For his smile never fades. For the kindness, he gave to the locals especially the kids and poor ones. Really a good heart. Irresistible. But how could this City boy fall in love with me?

First thing, falling in love would never be his purpose of coming here. He is on a mission.

2nd, I possibly not her type 😄 I was just a typical Probinsyana girl.

I was surprised when I saw Migs waiting at my school gate. So I asked him who he was waiting for. He told me that he just want to accompany me going home.

That became a routine-- after their tasks for the day, he dropped by Infront my school instead of going directly to the house where they stayed. It was fun though I was not expecting anything. It was just a happy feeling, chatting while walking going home.

Graduation came but sadly the next day was the scheduled day of going back to Manila.

Some missionaries came before them and no communication after they left. Surely same with this. Mission accomplished. We were just part of the journey.

But why thinking of no more communication and goodbyes hurts me. For 3 months, he was a part of my daily routine. It was so beautiful to just stop. But do I have any choice?

On graduation day, I received a special gift from him, they were all invited to my celebration that night. As everybody was enjoying, we were sitting at the bench beside the Mango tree. The moonlights making a romantic ambience. Assuming as I am. 😆

He told me that He has 3 things he needs to tell me. I asked him to just tell and I will listen. I felt his sadness but that was just normal in saying goodbye to a friend.

• Anne, thank you for all your efforts in assisting us with this mission.

• I say goodbye but I promise to make an effort to communicate with you. I've seen a Telephone booth in the city, could you do a collect call every Saturday for me if you don't mind. ( I was just 🤐)

• Lastly, I want to say, I fell in love with you. I love you, Anne.

Me: 🤓🤗🥰😍🤩💕💗❤😅😅😚🙄😲😲😲

(Did I hear it right? Oh again again again, It felt so good.)- in my mind

He kissed me in my cheeks ( I allowed him) and that was my first and the sweetest. Innocent as maybe but so memorable.

Officially my boyfriend. Oops, my 1st boyfriend.

Communication continued. No cellphone yet that time so I need to go now and then in the city for telephone collect call. Simple and happy moments.

I got a scholarship in the big University in the City. I started receiving love letters from him in my dormitory. Later then, I was able to make my email address. I told her about my email address in my letter. In his last letter, he told me of his plans to leave the missionary. From then on I didn't receive a letter anymore.

I was checking my inbox yet no email from him. I don't know why I didn't get the contacts of the other missionaries. I was so down, After 2 years of continuous communication then suddenly stopped. I called the telephone number I had but no information where given. I was already on my 2nd year and I can't afford to lose my scholarship just because I was heartbroken. Hard as may be, I tried to numb this heart and focus on my studies.

It was a very busy month before the final exam, we have group study at my block mates house, sleepless, so tired and need to finish the left and right deadlines.

When I went back to my dormitory to change my uniform and rushing to go back again for my early class, the guard gave me a flower, he told me that the other guard on duty told him that somebody was waiting for the whole day yesterday. The card was missing in the bouquet, and I never bothered to check the logbook of visitors.

A shoebox that full of letters...

Letters that full of promises...

I will wait for you.

I love you always.

2021

I received a GC invite on my FB account. Common friends from the youth group way back in high school. One of my friends based in Italy made the GC. My world suddenly stop when I saw Migs name there.

Migs: How are you?

Me: Great ( so funny! Great?)😏

Migs: How's life? Married? It's been a long time.

Me: yes, happily married with a kid.

Migs: Good for you Anne, I've been staying here in the US, Divorced.

Me: oh, what happened?😕

Migs: Sorry, when we only have a Facebook that time it could have been us.😕😕

Me: I waited for you.🙄

Migs: I went there before my flight. I left you a flower. I waited the whole day, I wanted to see you. I emailed you many times but I didn't receive any reply.

Me: (speechless trying to remember and digest every word he was saying)

Migs: Sorry If I made you wait. If only I made some more efforts to find you.

Me: ( Checking the old email account which luckily still exist- no msgs on inbox, SPAM folder! There you go... Unopened email of more than 30 messages) shocked...

Subject: I will wait for you. ❤

Migs: Sorry.

Me: No, I am sorry, I don't know, you were the one who gave me the flowers back then. Sorry I was not able to read your email. 🥺

(I feel a pain inside my heart yet I don't know why? Or what exactly the reason)

Migs: No need to say sorry, It was all my fault. I easily gave up on us. I wish I could get back that time.

Me: If only, communication is as easy as this. But no used for regrets. Thank you that we were able to give answers to the questions we had. For the missing piesces of the story.

Migs: I am free, but you are not.

Me: No...Our story i believe will just end here. I am happy that I was able to talk with you again. I am sorry and thank you for everything.

Migs: Thank you for everything. I want you to know that it was real. The way I loved you and I waited too.

Me: I know, So do I. ---so much but all in the past 🙁Goodbye Migs.😢

THE END.