High standards: what if you are stealing from your life to be efficient and productive

Being a busy person who is an expert in different fields, who can also maintain good relations, who is successful in many areas of life, who looks good, uses his time efficiently and is productive is the point most of us want to reach in life.

Do you ever feel that you have difficulty trying to keep up with everything, put too much effort into maintaining the perfect order, and then criticize yourself harshly in a situation that doesn't go the way you want in the end?

You may be thinking that while we excel in every role we take on (parent, job, relationships, hobbies), we also need to be balanced and happy because productivity and success require them. Although being a busy person with busy plans is perceived as a status sign and something to be proud of in the researches on productivity and efficiency, they found that people who are obsessed with productivity and efficiency feel regret in the long run and cannot relax because they feel guilty even during vacation times. They revealed that the psychological pressure created by this situation reduces productivity, productivity and creativity and puts people in a vicious circle.

Why do people strive for efficiency and productivity to such an extent that they put pressure on them? The answer to this question actually lies in what we call high standards in schema therapy language. If we received love in return for being successful, if we were criticized for not meeting expectations, if our parents set a model with high standards, or we may have set ourselves a goal of “perfect” as a compensation for feelings such as inadequacy, worthlessness and loneliness in our lives. Regardless of the underlying cause, the high standards we set for ourselves and the obsession with being productive can lead us to a state of chronic anger and depression over time, leaving us alone with emotional pressure. Physical problems may arise due to intense stress.

There is only one reason why you cannot do everything perfectly, because we are human. There are certain limitations in the nature of being human, and most importantly, human is not an infinite substance with energy consisting only of flesh and bone. While efficiency forces us to progress in the material field in life, human beings cannot exist independently of their emotions. Being emotionally well is possible by reducing the pressure on us and accepting the most basic truth. The most basic truth is that you are a human being.

The first step to freeing yourself from the pressure of high standards is to discover the areas where you create this pressure for yourself and its origins. You can try to make it more balanced by measuring the time you spend being productive and productive. We can start looking for ways to add that emotion to our lives, if all this time is actually to compensate for the lack of emotion. Imagine what your life would be like when the pressure in your life was relieved.

When we seek balance, not perfection, it will be possible to feel good and achieve success at the same time.