Part of Me that I am trying to Get Rid Of

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Avatar for Ruffa
Written by
2 years ago

If some people are having a problem of letting go of their memories of their ex's or those hands of their labidabs mismo who already found their replacement. Or maybe having a hard time letting go of thier crushes after being rejected. Me on the other hand is still trying my best to let go of all these sh!tters that keep on stopping me to grow. I know it's really my fault why this is happening but truly, letting go is not really that easy if you're already used to and you just get used to it because you allow it. Me, in particular allowed it. Coz why not. I think that's the easiest thing to do.

If I can I want to let go of these things so that I can be a better version of myself. I just hope that time will cum where I can finally let go of all of these so that I can move forward and I can finally do the things that I want to do in my life. I am still not sure if I can really do it but there is no harm in trying right?

So what are there things that I want to let go to have a better life? Of course you have no idea about ir coz I'm still not spilling the tea. But here it is, I'm just about to do it.

Fears.

Fears of what can happen if I tried to go out on my comfort zone. I can't just let this fear fo even if I want to. I can't just set it aside just by saying "shooo" how I wish I can do that. How I wish fears is just like those insects that when you shoo them away they will fly fast. But this fear is like a soft poop that can't be wash away just by shooing it or just by washing it. You will really need a hard brush for it to be cleaned. I know fears is really in our system now specially if we want to try new things. Even when you are having a hard time pooping you will fear it coz you might get indigestion and you will fear about medication. But, if some will still take the risk and set aside their fears why can't I right? Why it's not easy for me to let go of this?

My Toxic Trait

You maybe think that I am a kindhearted person but you are so wrong with that. Maybe that's just how I want y'all want to see me? Maybe I am hiding to this kind of facade to show to all of you just to fit in or what? You just don't know but maybe I was just hiding into my Angelic, Diabolik ah let's just go with "this fvckin face" lol. But kidding aside, I am far from being kind. I am actually the other half of Mr. Devil or whatever the term you want to use for "Devil." I think bad about those people that I thought is "not good." I easily judge everyone. I love to bad mouth someone on my head and that I think is a bad and toxic traits that I should remove. But I can't easily let it go of those because this is me. Should I tell it to let go?

My Shyness

This is want I really want to eradicate in my whole being. I want to get rid of it and not just let go. Because of you let it go there is still a chance that it might come back. So getting rid of it is the key. I will just use Franky's Radical Beam to get rid of me and the shyness in me will be gone including my body for good then shyness no more. Yep, if possible I should just be reincarnated because this shyness in me is already severe na malalang malala pa sa pagmamahal mo sa taong di ka kayang mahalin pabalik! It can't be remove. I'm not sure if I can ever remove this in my system. I am so mayabang in virtual world but expect that I am not like that in personal. I will try my best to get rid of this I just hope I will be able to do so.

No Self Confidence

And you know what cause my shyness? It is because I have no confidence and that made me scared. I'm scared of criticism. I will just feel offended if ever someone pointed out to me my imperfections and all. And I hate that. I'd rather you not say to me at all. I know my own flaws and my own imperfection. No need to point it out to me. But yeah, I still need to work for my self confidence. But it is not easy. It's not easy when you yourself find your own imperfections as already a malignant one. It is already severe that there's little chance for it to improve. I mean 0.0001% is very impossible percent, My low self esteem is already that malala. But I'm still hoping that I can let it all go for good even if thr chance is low.


I wrote this for who knows when because I am not sure because I forgot to put a date on it. But I am sure thar it's been a months already, lol. I have a lot of draft article that SOME of them can't be seen in the first page, lol. I have to reload it for a lot of times before it shows. And while looking at my article this accidentally shows and I just open it to check and there it is. Because of this I don't have tk think anymore or what of write today, lol.

I am having a hard time thinking of a topic and this drafted one is a life saver. Before I can draft 1 to 2 article per day but they are about to be gone now because I am busy in two platforms aigooo. I might become less active sa kabila to focus more here. And I can't think of s topic to share on the other platform so might as well rest my mind and focus more here.

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Thanks for Reading!!

Thank You @foryoubtc09 for the renewal of sponsorship (◍•ᴗ•◍).


August 30, 2022

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Avatar for Ruffa
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2 years ago

Comments

The real question is... how does someone with 1360+ subscribers and a comment wall like yours NOT have self-confidence? You're rocking! Keep up the good work!

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Hahahaha OMG. I dunno, in real it is far different from here. 🙈😭🤧

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That sounds like you're hanging with the wrong crowd and that you find people with the save wavelength easier on here.

Seems you guys are mostly from the same countries though, you should organize get-togethers and dinners if you don't already.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hmmm , the way i see it. Everything is on the average. I mean all of us i guess has this what you call " pag-uugali" that make us differ from one another but not necessarily us being a bad ass. If you are honest enough to admit all such sh!++y stuff then you are aware that something has to be improve and that means you are not faking your kindness bhe. If people sees you as kind then it must be real. Yes self confidence , shyness can be improve in time but being kind is hard to fake. If that's what you want to show people it's because it"s who you are. It" s ok to trash talk people in your head coz i'm doing that too, hahaha! I guess lots of us do. Lol!

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Oh yass that pag uugali talaga. It's hard to change lalo parang naging gawain na talaga goodness, lol. Kahit manlang sa anpg tatrash talk sa kanila in our head makabawi tayo no, lol.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Tamaaa! kasi we are not really bad nga kaya ayaw din natin makasakit o maparambol ( mas malamang!) hahaha! Kaya sa sarili na lang natin sabihin. Pagamit saglit! Aiiigooooo! hahaha!

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Letting go is often hard, but better. So we shouldn't let anything to ruin our present. Good to know that you are working on your fears and shyness to get rid of them.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

All of us really have this negative traits that we wanted to get rid of. Ako naman I really wanted to get rid overthinking as this Keeps on frustrating me. I also wanted to get rid of my shyness as it is dragging my self confidence down. However I know that get ridding of them takes time and acceptance. So I think, just like what we used to do, to those people who leaves us after loving them sincerely, we should also starts loving this negative traits, so they would leave us as well.. charrrr 😂😂

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yan din, maigi lang wala ako nyan. Pero I experience kaya I know how if feels when ur overthinking. Nakakaloka no aigooo. Yan din di sya basta basta maalis hahaha sana talaga ganon lang kadali, aigooo. HAHAHAHS LT last part ahahaha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I always believe that we have our good and bad sides and I think your "kindness" is genuine not a facade 😊

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Pero mas madalas kasi nalabas ang pagla demonyita ko hahahs

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Haha lahat nmn tau ata may time n judgemental at laitera nde lng nten bino voice out lol. Ako nga pinpatay kobs utak ko ung mga letseng kriminal napapnood ko s news 😂😂😂

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Bwahahaha ay relate ahaha tas torture pa, makaganti man laang sa krimen na ginawa nila ano aigoo

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I feel you ate, these things that you mentioned are things that I want to get rid off too. Especially the fear and the no self -confidence. Nagiging hindrance tlaga to sa pag grow natin. Hays prayers for you ate! God bless :)

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Diba, aigoooo maganda sana if madali syang alisin ee kaso aigooo parang nasa sistema na talaga natin sya

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Excluding shyness, I want to get rid of these things from my life too.

I always had a fear of doing things wrong and was a little insecure about myself that's why till now I can't take my own decisions. Hehe, It's not only your toxic trait cutie but I am also so down-to-earth I always try to do my best for people around me but if they did wrong to me I can easily forgive them without taking any revenge. Well, tbh Now I am working on my self-confidence through the help and appreciation of my friend coz being a university student every day I have new tasks, presentations, and some other stuff to deal with.

Well, don't worry about it, just try to subtract these traits from your life slowly but surely with new hope.

Greetings Dear.

$ 0.07
2 years ago

That fears, it's hard to get rid of them completely right. We are overthinking too much that we are fears those what we always think. In the end it is us who alway suffers. With our self confidence let's try to work on that 🥰

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yup, I know it's hard to do but also I believe it's not an impossible Task.

"In the end, it's us who always suffer"

But in the end, it's only we who assemble and grow ourselves by combatting these fears and coming up even stronger next time.

Stay blessed dear😁

$ 0.00
2 years ago

One thing is certain. Self discipline, it is. We can let go of all of these when we learn to discipline ourselves and take actions immediately.

Fear, shyness, lack of confidence etc are what I am trying to let go completely because they hinder our progress in one way.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yep, that is really that one thing we need. But you know sometimes even if we have that, when fears take over our body, those we practice will just be forgotten and we will go back again to zero. We have to start again on gaining those what we lost. 😔

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I can relate to some of these. We all have that fear...that tendency to be toxic and get so destructive when angry...as long as we are living, we just have to try and be better than we used to be. It takes a mind that is willing to change to admit all these truth to himself or herself...

$ 0.02
2 years ago

This is really what I am afraid. I can still stop myself feeling that but not always. By I'm hanging here so I'm still good. Really just want to be better version of myself this time.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

You have a good attitude to learning and that's why I believe you can be better...just as we should all try to be better too.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I also have that attitude of badmouthing someone in my head sometimes. I don't know if I have the control to stop it or not. Lol

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hahaha same with me breadcrumbs huehue i think thats better than say ot loudly haha.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hi, Pan pan! Ako rin I have toxic traits e pero I am trying to change it naman hehe. Shy rin me e in real life. :)

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hehehe dito lang kumakapal fez ko sa virtual world, ikaw din ba jay jay ugh. Ahahaha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Okay lang Yan sis not everyone is perfect we have our own flaws. As long as Wala kang tinatapakang tao it's okay to have those quirks. It makes you special.

Hahahha we are all somehow an introvert here 😅

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Ehehe sabagay, wag na natin baguhin huehue charr . Ang hirap nya bagang baguhin aigooi

Super introvert na ako jahaha ayaw ko na mag nilabas ng bahay

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahahhahahah nalabas ka naman pagbibiling pancit ah😅😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I hope someday maovercome mo to lahat madam

$ 0.00
User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Kaya nga madam ee sana sana

$ 0.00
2 years ago

We should come out from our shell and explore more about ourself baka in that way we can clearly see our future, charing 😂

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hahaha ayt seryos ang bata nanibago akl ah. Hahaha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ako aminado akong may toxic traits din ako ate. Kaya buti nalang nawwork out ko na ngayon sa tulong ng jowa ko hehe. Sya nagpapakalma sa akin eh

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Awiehhh, need ko na din ata ng sariling pampakalma ko charmy charmy huehue

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I believe we all have flaws. If it harms our existence its best to try getting rid of them.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

True, that's the best thing to do 😁

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I really want to see going out from your comfort zone madam...you might be stuck there forever

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Stuck na di na maka usad no, aigooo

$ 0.00
2 years ago

If you slowly let them go baka you will discover more about yourself sis. Though I am sure mahirap talaga gawin pero I'm sure slowly you can do it.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yeah, slowly lang I will get there din soon

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Trust yourself

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Relate ako sayo sis ruffa. May mga bagay talaga gusto natin i-let go na part na katauhan natin pero sobrang hirap dahil yan ang totoong tayo. Yung fears din talaga sakin sis ruffa kasi grabe talaga yung fears ko.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Kaya nga ee, part na natin kaya mejo mahirap ng anuhin no. Aigoo

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oo sis ruffa. Mahirap talaga sis.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

don't worry teh, ako rin mabilis magjudge eh depende sya sa nakikita ko sa tao

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hahaha judger tayo hahahah

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I am little bit different from you. I am shy but I have confident on myself in doing things. You never looked kind to me sister 😂.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Oh that's cool, being confident on what you love on doing is actually good.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Kaya nga sis ruff masaya ako na may platform gaya nito para sa tulad natin na mailap,dito kasi na e express natin kung ano yung feelings natin na walang judgement at tanggap tayo sa kung ano yung kaya nating ilabas sa loob natin.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Totoo yan, mas maganda mag express dito diba. Dito full force ko nalalabas kalokohan ko ee ahahah

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yung no self confident talaga no dahil nauunahan ng iya at negative agad ang maiisip😁

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Oo yan na nga, hirap nya tanggalin ah

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You said it right Ruffa that people know me as such i want to show them here. Mostly we're different here and in our real life. Similarly people think I'm not an aggressive girl but that's only my homies know how much aggressive I'm!!!!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yeah, sometimes fears is what's stopping us to show the us. Fears of criticism and all.

$ 0.00
2 years ago