I happened to have a conversation with my friend recently.
She was planning on calling it quit with her boyfriend of 4years because he refused to get married to her.
There are several reasons why marriages get delayed.
Some are ready, but there are no partners.
Some have partners, but there's no money.
And some are not just serious about it.
Probably due to past experiences or some other reasons.
For those that are delaying getting married because of money
This is understandable but I will like our mindset to change on this. I used to think this way too but not anymore. Money is good and important but I feel we're idolising it. Many of us have been saying for years that it's until we make money that we'll marry. Years have gone, partner dey but money never come. We should frankly ask ourselves when that would be😀
I think the solution to this is to keep COUNTING OUR COST.
I don't know how it works for others, but for me, I don't believe there's a year or time one will make all the money one wants. My usual advice to people, have a stable job and with a reasonable income or good financial prospect (self employment or whichever).
If it's your business, you both should ensure it's organized and well structured before the wedding, sort your accomodation, plan your wedding according to your capacity and plan your lives as a couple on the same note too. I really don't know where we got this culture of wedding night and 9 months after wedding for delivery. These things are myths creating issues for many homes.
If you'll have to suspend giving birth for a year or more after your wedding, do so. It's your family, anybody can say whatever they like. If you'll have to do family planning, do it and let's stop living according to the desires of people to do things we can't manage. That's one of the reasons our Parents and Ministers of God don't see sense in many delay we do. We keep delaying without good plans. Even if you have to delay for financial reasons, let there be a plan else at the end of the day the delay will be a WASTE OF TIME. Who says you must plan a wedding that Heaven and Earth will know and attend or one you'll feed hundreds of people when your financial capacity cannot bear.
Who says immediately after wedding you must release your address to everyone for visit?
We have to be wise and stop copying people.
Also, be well planned and organized on the steps to take at every time, businesses to do, side income etc.
People are being affected mostly with the issue of delay in Marriage, but there's a way around it if only we can be disciplined.
Photography and events planning has made me see several ways weddings can be planned on a low cost budget and it would appear like a lot was spent and also life after wedding for a new couple. But advice people, they won't listen but will be demanding for a talk of the town event and paradise life when nothing is in their account. So reason niyen😀(that's the reason)
Why is it That Most Guys Don't Know How to do Home Chores? Most Especially Cooking.
This looks like a gbas-gbos on the guys😀.
Okay! I think it's largely for two reasons and I will share my experience too.
Family (societal) culture and laziness on the guy's part could be a major cause of this.
Many families don't train their males to be responsible to home chores. Most especially when they have females.
Also, some families do but this males are lazy.
For my family, I was the only female and my parents ensured that all my brothers could do house chores. In fact they do it well.
Cleaning, washing, weeding, fetching and some other ones.
But one of my brothers, despite loving every other chores, wasn't good at cooking while growing. And laziness to that caused it.
Mom and Dad would complain several times but he wouldn't listen. He just hated being in the kitchen for minutes or hours and standing to prepare meals.
The year he understood what they've been saying, he learnt in a hard way. He got admission to study in the University and the first day he arrived in school he said he wanted to prepare jollof rice. The rice he didn't know how to prepare from home😀.
The excitement of school and being in a new environment was all over so he washed about 5 cups of rice. The adaku(foodie) in him was at work😀.
But brethren in da Lord, kama forogun(without making the story long) he spoilt everything with salt that he couldn't eat a plate out of it😂.
He was pained, poured it away and then promised himself to learn cooking. He learnt it and is still learning😀.
In fact, cooking and hospitality is one of his hobbies. Whenever he comes home from school he is always doing the cooking.
So any guy who isn't good with home chores isn't doing well, to be honest. You have no excuse.
How do you help your wife?
How do you teach your children with what you don't know?
And Why Is It That They Don't Know How to Support Their Wives?
About SUPPORT?
This is important.
One of the hallmark of a good husband and father is support.
I respect women so much, and how my mum trained us made me know the great work mothers are doing in homes in order to keep the family.
First to wake, last to sleep.
What other way can we appreciate them if not to support them. You may not always be around as an husband, but whenever you are, she must enjoy every bit of the time.
Truly, this generation of Men isn't doing well with this, and that's why we are here.
The culture of someone is a male and he shouldn't be made to do chores must not be embraced in this tribe we are raising.
We must all be useful and responsible. God is helping us.
Basic life survival should be taught to every kid. We can't always have someone to rely on so it's best that we know some things if not a lot of things.
It's true that we need money to build a family and you are right, we don't have to rush into things. We have to be sure what we are secure and the family that we build will always be secure financially.