Cheating on a Spouse

Avatar for QueenRay
3 years ago

Just as @JonicaBradley quoted:

There is a saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." I hope this saying is not true for all, but I'm my experience it is.

If you sense anything odd in your relationship and it feels like cheating, infidelity, or adultery to you, then it is.

Infidelity or cheating in any way which are betrayals of the expectations which one has of the other person.

Mostly, cheating is a bridge in trust and it comes with various signs.

Trust

Trust is the foundation of all marriages, but once it is broken, it often remains that way. A spouse might forgive, but that painful experience will forever be in the offended spouse’s mind. They wouldn't want to let down their guards for fear that it might happen again. For some people, it is very easy to forgive than to forget.

Distrust

Distrust is very common between the spouses when one of them has cheated on the other. Distrust is like having a mindset to lessen the blow if cheating happens again. On the other hand, it is certainly not impossible to trust again, but it usually does not happen easily or quickly.

Lives which may be Affected

Cheating does not only affect the marriage. Cheaters create a gap in the relationships between them and their children, loving friends, other close family members, and themselves. All the cheaters families will suffer from pain, embarrassment, and gossip all around them.

Blaming the Innocent Spouse

The cheating couple has a tendency of casting blames on the innocent spouse(s) in order to throw off their own feelings of guilt. Sometimes they will engage in fights with their partners to keep the innocent party from getting any form of financial help from them and even may convince themselves that any children in the marriage are better off staying with them. They play the game of making the innocent spouse the culprit.

Guilt

Guilt is like a poisonous sore which grows and gets worse as time passes. Soon it begins to fill up the mind, invade thoughts when it is not wanted. It also causes worry, regret, and shame. This kind of thoughts certainly do not add to the happiness of any relationship. The cheating spouse may think about going to his wife and rekindling his marriage afresh. Particularly a spouse from a Christian background may fear God’s judgment, end the affair, and seek forgiveness.

Vengeance(Pay-back)

There is always a chance that someone who is obsessed, and could be anyone in the triangle, may want to inflict bodily harm on his/her partner, the mistress/lover, or the cheater due to desperation and a need to be in control. The mistress may also try various manipulations to make the wife angry and move out of her home in reactions to the anger, in order to break up the marriage. A desperate mistress could even be a great threat to the wife's life.

Consequences of Cheating

Many cheaters think that they can repair damages to their marriage if their spouses discover their infidelities. They think that it is just a matter of getting the offended party to forgive them. It could happen, but it may not always be that easy or simple. Some of the consequences below could be long-term or irreparable in a marriage, home, and family after a spouse has been caught cheating:

  • Trust

  • Dysfunctional family

  • Low self-esteem

  • Severe depression

  • Defamation of character

  • Alienation of affection lawsuit

  • Divorce

  • Major financial changes due to a divorce settlement

  • Contraction of incurable sexually transmitted diseases

  • Unwanted outside pregnancy

  • Child support payments that might take money away from the household, spouse, and children

  • Mistress's problems that could affect spouse and family's wellbeing

  • Stalking

  • Threatening or harassing phone calls

  • Severe violence and risk of imprisonment

Outcomes of Cheating

The two ovaries involved will need to communicate, in no uncertain terms, understandably discuss what you both define as cheating, infidelity, and any other behavior that doesn't augur well with you.

While it may not be a very easy discussion (as your personal views may differ), it's still best to talk it out and share your feelings regardless of how your partner may respond.

Conclusion

Cheating is not and will never be right in any relationship, and excuses can not be tolerated. The consequences are very devastating for all that are involved, especially the partner who has been offended and children.

Even the cheater will gently endure the negative consequences of their poor choices. They may be left alone or separated from by family and friends and they may have to undergo a financial change due to divorce and settlements.

The victims should realize that no matter how guilty they feel, they are not responsible for the affair.

A family with broken relationship or communication gap is a broken home, a dysfunctional home, and no one should be forced to endure the trauma that transpires there.

This article is written in respect to the Fourth weekly Prompt by @JonicaBradley Titled "Darkness".

I will like My new friends on this platform @Gaftek @King_Gozie and  @Willtravis  to give this a try.

The prompt was initiated to help people with ideas of what to write on. So many times most of us are short of ideas or topics to write on. This is meant to help us with it.

It's isn't compulsory, accept only if you feel like giving it a try. If you decide on writing on the prompt-

The rules are simple:

  1. Write about darkness

  2. Write 100% original content

  3. Write at least 600 words

  4.  @JonicaBradley

  5. Have fun.

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3 years ago
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Comments

I always believe that cheating is a choice, it is never an accident or anything, it is what it is you can't justify it by simply reasoning you're drunk or what crap reason it is. I believe also that if cheaters are just willing to change I think it's possible that they will not be a cheater for life. Well anyways great article.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Nice contribution. Cheaters need to be willing to change.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Good writing, good content, good prompt. Cheating leads to many things and it completely ends a relationship only few are still standing today, many dont understand what relationship is and what should be built around that word. I would work on something soon, thank you for the invite to the prompt series.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You are so correct.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Cheating is one of the things I hate most in my entire life,for me,my trust for the person have reduce and i don't think i can do as usual with the person. Truly there is room for change but hmmmm,its hard for me to accept them oo. Thanks for the invite,i have written on the prompt before,but i think another meaning is coming up

$ 0.02
3 years ago

We need to try as much as possible to accept them when they come seeking forgiveness.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Sure,thanks ma

$ 0.00
3 years ago

People can change and stay faithful after cheating, but it takes some work. The cheating spouse has to be able to come to terms with why they cheated and not blame the other spouse. Trust can be rebuilt if both are willing to work on it and love each other. Serial cheaters, on the other hand, are likely to keep doing the same thing over and over.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You are absolutely right. Passing blames on the other party is the bedrock of the failure of such marriage.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

True that, sis!

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It's always risk to cheat on once spouse, so many have came across death through such an and it also regrettable

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You are right sir.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Cheating can never be justified by whatever reasons. It brings mostly ruin and destruction not only to the immediate persons doing it, but to their circle too. Great is the man/woman who wins against the urge to cheat :)

Awesome write up!

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Thank you. Should we also say great is the man/woman who owns up to their wrong and seek forgiveness after being caught.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Cheating brings no good in any aspect in life. It only brings destruction to a relationship. I still don't understand why people choose to cheat despite of knowing the consequences afterwards.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Many consciences are dead.

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3 years ago

What must cheaters do is to try to put the blame on the other party. It's takes lot of courage to free oneself from the blames

$ 0.02
3 years ago

That's so true. Instead of admitting that they are wrong

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3 years ago

OK dear, I'll see to the challenge

$ 0.01
3 years ago

It's never easy to deal with cheating. One should have all the strength and courage to make the right decision. It's heartbreaking but it's not the end.

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3 years ago

Yes, it always doesn't end well. I've never experienced it on a personal level but I've seen lots of movies on it.

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3 years ago