Siblings Rivalry

March 26th, 2022.

I have all seen sibling rivalry in one form or another.

What are the causes of sibling rivalry?

Why do siblings fight?

And how do we settle rivalry between siblings?

Sibling rivalry is an emotional feud between siblings. Siblings may compete for love, attention, and other rewards associated with living within a family system. Rivalry can also arise from competition for scarce resources like parental time, love, and money.

One of the most common causes of rivalry between siblings is competition for the parents' attention. Adolescents may feel neglected by their parents and then react with rebellion, anger and jealousy in response to their siblings.

The best way to settle rivalry between siblings is through communication.

If a problem arises, have a talk with your children and encourage them to find a solution together. You could also involve your children in activities that interest each of them.

The second best way to settle sibling rivalry is to enforce rules.

One of my friends applied this method when she had two boys who were constantly fighting. She made a rule that if they fought fiercely, the one who started should apologize to the other and make a peace offering.

In addition, the sibling relationship can be improved by giving each child space and freedom to develop their hobbies and interests.

Consequently, if you wish to prevent sibling rivalry, give each child enough attention and allow them to develop their own interests apart from one another.

Psychology experts say that rivalry between siblings begins from a young age; even from the womb. It may be due to lack of attention from the parents, so a child assumes that the parents love them less because they are being favored.

On the other hand, some experts say that rivalry is caused by different personalities of siblings.

Rebel baby and a calm baby will always fall into arguments over everything. Also, there are times when siblings become rivals due to jealousy. Children who have the same toys, clothes, and attention are most likely to fall into rivalry.

Sibling rivalry is a common occurrence in a family. In most cases, however, they grow to be close, loving siblings. You may think that rivalry is something that is created by parents.

The truth is, rivalry is not entirely caused by parenting styles. The main cause for sibling rivalry is actually the competition for parental attention.

When siblings argue and fight with each other, it's important to teach children how to handle these conflicts in constructive ways.

Sibling rivalry can be depicted in a variety of works:

Our war-cries may be identical, but somewhere along the line, our paths diverged.

Sibling rivalry is a universal phenomenon, at least in our experience with our two sons. It seems to be a natural part of growing up and the dynamics of family life.

In many ways, it follows the familiar "follow the leader" rule; if one child gets something new, the other will want it too, even if it's not needed or wanted.

Having some competition is a good thing. It keeps you honest, it pushes you to try harder and to stay on your toes. Competition is what drives innovation.

However, when it comes to your siblings, it can be a bit much at times. But it’s all in good fun right? Sure, but sometimes you just have to cut your brother or sister some slack because they do have a big impact on you.

And if one child has a great grade on his or her report card, well then, the other child needs to do better. Young children seem to know instinctively that competition is at the root of sibling rivalry.

The best way to deal with sibling rivalry is to talk about it. Use an "I" instead of a "you" when talking about what's going on with your children. For example, instead of saying, "You're being silly," say, "I feel silly when you do that." Instead of saying, "You are trying to make me look bad," say, "I feel bad when you do that."

Sibling rivalry is often based on feelings of inadequacy.

So it's important to praise and affirm your children as much as possible-and not just when they win or get rewarded.

Appreciate them every day.

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