Good morning my dear friends.How are you doing? I am feeling great today.
Today began the magical December.I hope you will enjoy holidays and reading my article too.So lets start.....
What was not accepted, but was precious to us, must be wept and comforted. Only from a final reputation can new hope develop. We return to where unfulfilled dreams are buried until a painless farewell is possible.
Any family can come to the brink of collapse sooner or later. The fate of a relationship also depends on you. It is possible that communication with a partner will not be eternal or happy if there are differences between you in vital values, attitudes, goals, and expectations. The decision as to whether the time of farewell has come must be considered. With the decision alone, of course, you don’t need to rush too fast and thereby perhaps ruin your happiness.
Why do we find it so hard to part lovingly, why so much bitterness, resentment, hatred, and inconsolable despair?
We learn separation as children, and if we don’t know how to say goodbye to a man who wants to leave us today, then it means we don’t feel like adults. We still live in a past when we were helpless and unable to survive without our guardian.
We all want a harmonious, confidential, safe and gradual separation from the mother and later from the father ... as children. But we didn’t usually experience this by walking strengthened and encouraged. Only from a safe lap, from the fullness of contact, can we wish to leave. They should let us go with love, with faith in our power, they should show us that they know how to stay alone and connected with us at a distance, but firmly and confidentially.
The world, the unknown, the loneliness in distress before us is shown to us through the eyes of the mother, life invites us with the voice of the father. Mother sets us free and convinces us that we are wonderful, while Dad tells us that there are other people out there who will make us happy and with whom we will be able to connect for common goals, explore and create. If that hasn’t happened, we have another chance: we can do it as adults. True, healing secession is therefore possible at any time and also without the participation of parents, but only on the condition that we face the experience we carry within us, our truth.
We must first learn how we experienced our limits and saying goodbye to the position of the baby. Separation from the mother will be possible (today) only if we feel both ourselves and her very well. The condition of mature secession is that we come to the full truth about our mother, about her life and the hidden feelings she had as we grew up, without illusions and self-deception. In addition, it is necessary to get to the full truth about your current (in) dependence, as expressed in personal relationships. Truth, however, lives in the senses, in our primordial body. This body usually only needs to be liberated, otherwise it cannot tell us what form of independence it is missing, where it wants to go and with whom.
We need to discover the strong emotions that accompany our life-threatening (fear, anger, hatred, despair ...), and then the immense love that bound us to mother and father. We didn’t love them because they were good or perfect, but because they were our parents. This love can be recognized and endured today, even if it has been rejected. We couldn't do it once. If our parents did not respond with an equally strong and committed love for us and our independence, we replaced it with desperate disappointment with different feelings. Today it can come to life again, we can direct it first to ourselves, and then to others and to life.
True, it is important to admit that we hate parents, but then it is equally important to experience the truth about the love we felt for them as children.
We will know how to say goodbye to other people only when we say goodbye to our parents with love, cleansed of memory, tempered in fiery tears. The fountain of love we carry within us came to life when they touched us - even though that touch said they were incapable of love.
Our first experience was that we are able to love the one who does not love us. Even today, we can see that this is so. We are able to forgive and walk away from people who don’t love us or don’t want us anymore when we realize we are something other than what others are doing to us.
The greatest autonomy is in the ability not to grieve and not to hate anymore and to be able to have peace and warmth of heart towards the people who have done us a lot of harm. Each of us can experience this if we want it with all our heart. Life always helps us when we express a desire that saves.
Photos in this article are taken from google.com.
Thank you for reading my article.
I send love and greetings to all from @Purebeauty.
I stayed very young without both parents