Who's here again?

Hello my lovelies! Look who's here again? It's me Probinsyana. It's been awhile since I haven't visited here nor written any article as I am trying to unwind adding the responsibility that I have right now. But now I choose to be back as I missed you all, and in fact I want to be productive again where I can engage people through this platform.

As I have posted almost 2 months ago, I spill the tea about me as a new mom. Yes, if you haven't seen it, you read it right now. I am having this beautiful yet tiring responsibility. I want to share with you all how my life was when I chose the focus on myself and so does my baby. Maybe, some of you already know how exhausted mom's work is, especially those who are already mothers.

• Sleepless Nights, can't deny the fact that way back then I really loved sleeping, my escapade in the reality where I can be what I really want to be. But now, everything changes. I have to spend more time taking care of her. Waking up from time to time to breastfeed her, even though I was too exhausted to get out of bed but I have to.

• Stress, as all you know when a woman gives birth mostly they experience this called "postpartum depression" where it really needs pure and genuine understanding. Where the self -esteem became too low that end up sometimes suicide. I can't say I really have that too much but I'll admit there are times I experienced that I am doing enough for my baby, that all I think I did was wrong, that my body features change a lot especially that I am now into eating food since I always feel hungry whenever I nurse my baby.

• Body Ache, I don't know of some experience it but I do. The aches that I have from head to toe, especially my breast where it's really painful during the 1st to 2nd week of giving birth.

• Can't take a bath at the right time, this is so true especially when she wakes up early and chooses not to sleep and so I have to look for her. I have to tickle her and entertain so she won't get bored and end up crying. Gez! I really don't want to see her cry as I treasure and love her so much.

• Can't look when she gets vaccinated, when it's time for her to get that vaccine I don't look co'z I felt the pain that she is experiencing. The needle that was pushed into her body made me shiver and wanted to cry. I may look overreacting but it's just that I don't want her to experience pain. But again, that's crucial for her to be healthy.

• She gets but I have, this is not about the food that I was eating or drinks that I drank but it's also about the feeling that I felt when I am not okay. When I got a runny nose, so did she. That's why I am taking care of myself but it's still inevitable to not get sick as I have those sleepless nights and my health isn't that good.

See? I am into something right now, which is new to me. Something that made me experience the other feeling, the feeling of having a baby that is half me and half the person I love. The responsibility that I have to accomplish properly so she won't suffer. The duty that I am willing to fulfill. She is now my world, my everything even if things change when she comes.

Lead image is mine unless otherwise stated

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