When overthinking hits, it's different as it kills me slowly. To the moment where all I want is to cry and just isolate myself from everything or anyone. When I'm in the most high-pressure situation, all I want is to be quiet. When heartbreak hits I just want to lay down and die. My life isn't perfect (no one is), my life is full of surprises where it totally surprised me to the bone. Things came that we hadn't expected, all I wanted to be just a dream, to be just a nightmare but here the reality again, woahh it snapped at me. My choice is only to just let it happen and just simply go with the flow.
We've been in a situation right now where it really tests how strong our relationship is. Challenges that put us under too much pressure might be the reason why one of us will possibly give up. Reality where we need to embrace even though it's hard, co'z we can't do anything about it. We've been struggling a lot lately that affects both of us, emotionally. We are both tired of what's happening around us, it drains us physically. On my part, I'm not that strong woman, I am fragile, I easily cry. I am too weak especially when my mind is in chaos and can't think right. All I wanted was to just hide and cry in pain. Asking if I truly deserve it? Mood swings affect me when I'm stressed, from happy to extremely sad yet I choose to not show it to anyone. From excitement to boring and from being kulit to cold. I am his total opposite. I have this pride where it almost destroys what we had. I know I am wrong and so he does but I don't usually do the first move. He is somehow the clingy and understanding one. He still shows how much he loves me when I show how much I hate him. He still cares for me when I can't even care for myself. He chose to lower his pride. He isn't perfect but ain't weak. He is my man who loves me behind my moody and unacceptable ego. A man who always gives extra effort just to make me happy and so does my tummy. His hugs and kisses mean a lot to me. Forehead kisses hit differently.
If I die early, then I ask God to let me live again and I will find him wherever he is. I will find the person that made my life this memorable, I will find the person who stands through ups and down. I will find the man who accepts and loves me at my worst and I will find him no matter how hard it may be. I promise to stay and love him forever and I will. There is no perfect relationship, we fall but choose to fix it. We might fail on something but we make sure we succeed on others. We try to push harder to be better, to understand and to just continue but we started. We never were happy like this in our past, we cried a lot, we experienced being dumped and just left hanging. We experience being cheated and we both know how painful it is. With that, we choose to never commit it. We promise and we will try our best to never break it. But if things happen unexpectedly then we still choose to find each other. I love him like how I love myself. I value him just like I value myself. I will put an effort like how I did for myself. We aren't married yet but we will be there soon. When God allowed it to happen. When He let our heart become one and when this is my story ends - to be with him.
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Check out their article too it's worth to read ❤️Gonna flex my little achievement ☺️
You feel so deeply and it's not a bad thing. He is strong and understanding and that's good. You both should learn from the strength of each other and try to make it easier for each other. Your story ends when you finally marry him since the search is over but that's when another journey starts, another story where maturity and more understanding is needed and it won't just be from him but from you as well. I know how amazing you can be and I know you will embrace this new status when it finally happens and give your best to it. Keep being awesome, my friend.