Rush in and regret.

“Marry in haste, repent at leisure”.

Samuel Johnson

I saw a chat last night which I also sent to my KP. In the chat, the young girl just clocked 26 years and celebrated her birthday. Her sister, I think sent a message to her wishing her a happy birthday and reminding her that she is 26 already and the next thing is for her to bring home a husband.

Do you know what the young girl replied to her? According to her, she told her sister she is still patient because she wouldn't want to select wrongly and in the end beg her siblings to help take care of her kids just like her sister. She said to her sister that she can't listen to any advice from her because she is an example of a marital demotivating factor.

Wow! That word is too much to say to her sister. Maybe the sister rushed into marriage and now begging her siblings to help take care of her children. Though it was not right to insult her like that, that's too much from her. I want to ask a question “Does a certain age determine when to get married actually?”

Well, this topic isn't new to us anymore as we have seen and heard many stories of people who rush into marriage as if it is something interesting and easy, but they realized how they expected it to be isn't the way it is and they start to regret.

My parents gave birth to five of us, and I would tell you that we all lived with different Aunts to my Father. Though we were doing fine, their capacity couldn't take them to train us for higher education.

I have a friend we both graduated from the college of education. Though I graduated before her and the next year in 2016, she graduated too and the next thing I know was that she was pregnant for her fiance. She would always say once she graduates, she would go and marry.

Was that the next thing for her then? She has her decision and it's her life.

A few months after getting married, her father died. Till today, she hasn't balanced herself.

Every time she chat me up, she would always demand some money from me and I would give it to her on some days but right now, it's getting too much and I see that if I don't stop and give my limit, she would always come around to ask for more.

When I see her picture, I felt for her but what do I do? I have my own problems I am dealing with too. She has two kids now and many times, she would tell me to send her money to get some diapers, baby's food etc and I would be like “Is your husband not working?”

Her husband's work isn't that stable again while she is working in a school. Right now, she needs my help as she is planning to own a school. What do I have? Is that even another next thing to opt in for? Just like I said, it's her life and decision.

What am I trying to say here? Remember I told you how my Dad and maternal grandmother were pestering my life to bring home a husband just because I have finished school and also become 28 years old? I simply told them to wait for God's time and besides, we aren't in a haste.

They will not come to live with me in my husband's house and I would be the one carrying my cross there. So, I should wait and choose rightly than rush to get married when I have nothing to help me survive.

Questions we should ask ourselves are “Am I ready for this new beginning and the journey I am entering into?” “Do I have all resources to keep me going in my matrimonial home?”

If you can give a reply to these questions, then I think you have gotten the right direction for yourself.

Just because you are getting older and past the 20-30 years of age doesn't guarantee the time for marriage. We need to be patient and open our eyes to choose rightly and make sure we have all it takes to be in a marriage because it is not an easy journey.

Once you dip your feet into it, there's no going out again except if you want to divorce which doesn't speak well.

I think God is taking His time in my life so I wouldn't suffer in a man's house and while doing that, I should continue to work hard and imbibe good habits and attitudes that will make me the best woman.

I don't want my children to be scattered everywhere to the extent that I would always receive the worst insult of my life. I don't want to start begging all my life to survive in a man's house. I need to get it right now before it's too late.

There is no age limit to getting married. You aren't in a haste. There will never be latecomers in marriage. Wait for your time so you don't regret it.

Start working on yourself now as a single man or lady especially, and gather as many experiences to aid your journey to marriage. Above all, put God first in all you do and you will never regret it.

Thanks for reading

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[July 14, 2022] (No 195 articles for the year)