Two Fold Life.

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3 years ago

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We have to take the good with the bad where life is concerned. Everything won't always go the way we planned it but we just have to go on to live it anyway. For every dark cloud, they say there is a silver lining. There is light at the end of the tunnel they always say too. There is no need to mention light if there was no darkness. Life is in two folds and we need to recognize this so we can be aware of it. Being aware of it doesn't mean we are inviting the worst to happen but whether we like it or not, there would be moments that would make us happy and some unexpected turn of events that would make us sad. No one wants bad things to happen but when they do, what can we do? We have to try and move on, no matter how hard it is.

I grew up with the idea that life will go on forever. I was naive and I didn't plan for the events that happened in my life's journey that got me here. Who would have imagined that my dad that I was so close to would go away from earth without warning? My friends in school were even more scared for me than I was for myself. I once shared how my dad would help me deliver a love letter or card to my childhood love then - that's to paint a picture to you guys how close we were. He would always visit me back then in school and he would never come without goodies for my friends.

My friends and roommates would always leap for joy when I tell them my dad would be visiting. They would never stay back after lectures the moment they heard that he is coming. They quickly rush back to the lodge to meet with him and shake hands with him when he comes around. He always comes around 4 pm to 5 pm. It was just a 30 minutes drive from where we stay to my school but still, I hardly visit home. I can count the number of times I travelled home especially when I think about the stress of going to the student affairs office to request an exeat. You can only travel once a month though...except there is an emergency. That's the life of a private university.

So, he would come around with a medium-sized cooler of food and drinks and of course, a lot of money for my friends and myself. My friends would know their dinner has been sorted out anytime he visits, so when he died, they were scared as to how I will cope and we were to write my 3rd-year exam in 2 weeks. He passed on without seeing me being a finalist - 4th year. I didn't even know how I wrote the exams but I know I didn't fail any course but it affected my CGPA anyway.

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What was I saying? That's life. You can't be too prepared either. It comes expected and even unexpected too but we have to understand this. Life is in two folds because some will like you while some won't. We make the mistake of focusing on those who don't like us. I always shove them aside like the donkey that fell inside a ditch. For every dirt they were throwing at him, he was shoving it aside while using it to climb up till the owner was able to rescue it. I don't hear their critics over the applause. We often allow the noise to override the cheers. I intentionally magnify the cheers so I can reduce the effect of the noise.

There would be days of excitement and days that there won't be much to be excited about. There are days we have to listen and there would be days we have to speak. We all have different views of life and we can only share them from our lens. We have different choices too and that's fine. We need to learn to choose our focus because whatever we focus on gets magnified. If you focus on the things that aren't working, it would prevent you from achieving anything meaningful because only those things that aren't working would be gravitating towards you. After all, that's what you choose to see.

Not everyone would love you. We are a product of our choices and preferences. Don't live your life trying to earn the approval of another person. The truth is, you will always have those who will cheer you as well as those who will criticize you. Choose your focus right. Some people are fueled with drama and that doesn't mean you have to attend the party. Be intentional about the kind of things you allow into your space for the sake of your sanity.

We have different people - those who are genuinely happy for you and those who are a box full of trouble that nothing you do can ever impress them. They want to topple you and they take delight to see you wobble. They don't care as long as you stumble because they want to see you fumble. This has nothing to do with whatever you did wrong, some people are just naturally bitter while some people have trained themselves to be happy for others and for that, they are better.

Hold your peace, guard your heart and don't become like those who hurt you. You have to understand that life is in two folds. You need courage to thrive in a world like this. There will be happy moments and sad ones. While we celebrate the birth of newborns we would always have people dying. We have the young and the old, the rich and the poor, the privileged and the challenged and so on. Learn to understand the seasons of life and the things that can rob you of your peace won't have that much of a stronghold on you anymore. Go on and be productive because there would always be side distractions along the way and how much attention you give to them would determine how much speed you can have.

Thank you for your time.

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3 years ago
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Comments

Hmm, I took a deep breath after reading your article, that's just the adventure of life, we keep on solving it like a puzzle, some puzzles are very difficult to solve while some are easy to solve , while some puzzle can not be understood.

We just have to accept anything that life bring to us, during the days when your dad was visiting you often , I know you'll never thought " what if he's no more, how will the world be?" But it's happened without even giving you a quick notice. Never to see him again but in the next word. might be in dream anyway.

I Know you'll never want to loose your dad, but just like you say, there's time for everything, time to be born and of death, we are all stranger, one day we will all go back home. Time to cry and time to laugh, to of sorrow, sadness and Time of joy.

Everything can not be as we planned, when the worst come to the worse we just have to accept it, some days are bad while some days are good, but we should always Allow the joy of the good days to overcome the bad days.

This is a nice dose @olasquare👍

$ 0.05
3 years ago

What a brilliant comment and you spoke so much truth there. Thank you for your kind words and true, life happens. That is life. We don't sometimes see it coming...

I really appreciate this.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Life is unpredictable indeed. Thank you for sharing this to us. And I'm sorry about your father. He was a great father.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

He was a great man, very true. Thanks a lot for your kind words. 🤗

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I think that's the beauty of life, us not knowing what comes next and it would just surprise us good or bad. If we know what's coming then what's there to be excited about or look forward to?

And you're precise when you said all those facts or truths about life. Sad to read about your dad leaving without saying goodbye to you but knowing he made a great impact on you and your friends is kind of consoling too.

And yes, let us be intentional with how we live our lives, what we take in and give space to. Thanks for this Ola :)

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I am so delighted and always delighted to read from you. Thank you so much and I really appreciate you.

Absolutely, we need to be more intentional and guard our space too. The beauty of life is indeed in the unexpected.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Aw! Thank you Ola, and I appreciate you too :)

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3 years ago

"Don't live your life trying to earn the approval of another person."

I absolutely love this one, and everything about this article. Thank you so much for imparting your experiences and wonderful insights. This deserves a share.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I feel blessed and privileged. Thank you so much. 🤗🤗🤗

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Predicting or assuming life would go a particular way for us is a big mistake because life pulls up it surprises when you are not expecting it

Really sorry about your dad, he is a great man who values his children. I never had to the opportunity to have this fatherly love and it made me really determined to give my kids the best love they need to be good and great

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Thank you so much, brother and I am really sorry about not experiencing that. That's the thing about life, what we lacked while growing up, we can make up for it with our children and I love your standpoint on that. You will make an amazing father. You are an incredible being.

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3 years ago