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Do It My Way.
Image Source. https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-talking-with-mother-outdoors-12887066/ This is a fictional story but it doesn't mean a lot of people are not going through this, if not worse. There is a lot going on based human choices, culture and so many human influenced decisions. This story touched most aspect some families go through. "***You should know better, it's never done here. No one has ever done this and it won't start with you, my child, I'm sorry. We won't allow it.***" Said **Tofunmi**'s mother. **Tofunmi** was insistent. She wouldn't back out of this fight that would prevent her from marrying the man of her dreams all because he is from another tribe. "***I would leave you all then and marry him outside the country if that's all it takes***" **Tofunmi** retorted. "***You dare not!...except you want to carry a curse for life***" fired back the mother. "***I would rather carry a curse and marry Alex than spend my life without him.***" **Tofunmi** still won't back down as she storms out of the room into the living room. Her mother raced after her and wouldn't stop her insistence on keeping her daughter away from Alex. "***Have you been living inside the hole? Didn't you see what happened to Alake that married from another tribe? She didn't spend a year in that marriage before she died during childbirth. Or you have forgotten Ayo who did the same and married a lady from another tribe? Didn't you see it was less than a year too that we heard they were involved in a ghastly accident and both died on the spot?***" Said the mother. "***We have a different destiny. You can't compare people's lives together without understanding their stories and what led them to that point. There are coincidences in this life and everything is not as you think they are.***" **Tofunmi** said. "***I won't allow myself to be schooled by someone who hasn't seen enough in this life. You are having temporary amnesia since that's how it works with those in love. You are in love and you can't think straight, so you will say anything to avoid the voice of reason. Most people in love have temporary amnesia that makes them forget that there are others in this world that they can love.***" **Tofunmi**'s mother continued her lecture. "***If you know anything about love, mum then you will understand better. We don't live in the era where you hand over a lady to a man as they did for you.***" Tofunmi said as the mother landed a hot slap on her face. The mother got up angrily and went into her room with **Tofunmi**'s words ringing in her head. It was true because she was handed over to **Tofunmi**'s dad. After all, they are from the same tribe. She also loved someone from another tribe and she was dissuaded from marrying the man which is something she's trying to do with her daughter as well. The man she was to marry from another tribe left and became a hot shot in another city while her husband still works on the farm. **Tofunmi** wanted to break the cycle and enjoy the life her mother never enjoyed by marrying the person she loved. She was desperate to follow her heart but her mother wouldn't allow it and the father would always go with any decision the mother makes so **Tofunmi** knows her father would never be of help in this matter. **Alex** was facing the same pressure from his parents too. They kicked against him marrying **Tofunmi** and forbade him from ever seeing her. These two love birds were secretly communicating without the knowledge of their parents. Being a talented artist who can carve out every detail of any object or human, **Alex** soon got recognized for his incredible talent and as God would have it, he got an offer overseas which he didn't disclose to anyone except **Tofunmi**. They are both 26 years old and wouldn't need parental consent to make decisions on their own. Their plans clicked and they both left the country without informing any of their parents. Both sets of parents were at loggerheads with each other, accusing the opposing child of influencing the run-off but still the children kept away for over a year without consulting with their parents. The day they contacted their parents was when their child clocked 6 months and they got married just a few months after getting to their destination in **Canada**. It was a relief to both parents to know they didn't follow the fate of others who died in less than a year by marrying from another tribe. A huge relief for both parents who hadn't heard from their children in over a year. *Thank you for your time.* *My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "****Olawalium****" daily.* 🙈 Kindly follow me on **Noise.Cash**... I am trying to engage more with people and connect with everyone with this account. I look forward to seeing you there... You can say hello to me there so we can get familiarized as well. Click here. https://noise.cash/u/Olasquare
34 comments
There are advantages and disadvantages of marrying someone in another tribe
It's all in the mind and most of the times they follow how things used to be.
This story can fit to traditional parents who enforced their childs for marriage to their favorite place. Same thing happened to a couple near to us. Parents were not agreed for marriage from both sides. Couple tried thier best but all in vain. At last they ran away from house and married an other city at their will.
The way they tried to force their kids would always make them run away. I am glad those ones ran away too because parents need to know they cannot control everything.
Traditions sometimes is a cage, most times our minds plays tricks on us, remember Mr.A after he did this, he died.and you also wants to do it. Most times, this stuffs are true as we are played by our minds. Regardless of this archaic traditions should be amended. I see no reason why someone will be prevented from marrying another, because of tribe difference. Though it's still happening in our country, we need to embrace civilization. Am happy tofunmi and Alex never traded their happiness for tradition
It's indeed a cage. It's all playing in most people's head than they can imagine but they allow themselves to be played by it. We need to do better and stop caging people.
Yes, it was truly happened even here in the Philippines but not because of different tribes,there are a lot of issues to be discussed and involved with money if you are rich,you also find a partner or a lover with wealth also.some parents wont allow their son or daughter marry to a person with low key thats the reality of life
It's very painful that parents leverage on money and not what the child truly wants. They see marriage as a get rich quick scheme which is why some of them gets treated badly since they know they married for money. It's a problem even here too.
We are already in the modern era and I guess arranged marriage should be taken out of the tradition. It's only the children who will suffer in the end. Unhappy marriage would still lead to divorce...if not, deep remorse..
Thank you, Janey. Exactly... The children would be the ones to suffer because the problems the parents created, they won't be alive long enough to witness everything. Situation like this has left so many people messed up.
It happens in almost every family....I don't have a valid answer maybe when am with kids...because I would love to see my kids flourish and be happy. Even at that mother is a mother because sometimes she will be feeling her daughter and praying that nothing happens to her. Honestly, no one would ever dictate who I would be getting married too because na me wear shoe.
Exactly...you are the one with the shoe and you would know where it hurts. Most parents want to follow how things used to be not knowing things are not as they used to be.
What I would be needing is just advices, opinion and suggestions pere.
That's what parents should do and not force their children. That's right.
I wouldn't blame Tofunmi's mother because of what she has gone through and had seen with her own eyes but the problem of many people is ignorance and belief. I don't think any parents should stop their children from whoever they want to marry just because of a so-called inter and intra marriage culture. Love is beyond these and It's a pity her mother was denied of who to marry. Perhaps she would have been doing fine if only she tried then. But same mistake shouldn't be repeated because both Tofunmi and her guy are educated and should know better.
Absolutely. That's the pattern that Tofunmi wanted to break and she did. Her mother didn't get her wish then and she didn't want to settle for having to live that way too. So many people have been held back due to ignorance.
Some parents always use their beliefs to influence their children. I hate when people using what happened in the past against me. Love isn't something that we should barrier the both parties. Unless they don't understand what they are really up to.
Most of them don't understand and love can't be controlled...they need to understand that.
Just imagine trying to make her daughter pass through the same thing she passed through just because of traditions. My mom is also one of those parents that will say we shouldn't marry from a certain tribe but I don't care o. The tribe she's forbidding us to marry from is the same people I have lived around all my life 😂 why will she think it will be impossible for one of us to fall in love with one of the indigenes? I see war coming in the future sha, it's either me or my siblings that will start it 😆
😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣 that's how parents are. They are so stuck up to old ways which shouldn't be. You will win this war and I hope she gets convinced even before then...
We can't really blame the mother for doing that, objecting and all. She just want to protect her kid. But still good thing in the ens nothing really happened with them. I hope both kid will finally reconcile with their parents? Not just communicating but reconciliating.
That's the real healing...to reconcile...that's what should be done so both families can unite.
This literally happens to many here also in the Philippines. Parents tend to control their children who they should marry. And it so happen that money always involve when it comes to choosing a partner. That's the sad reality of life now. But love is what it is, it conquers everything despite all the differences.
Love is powerful especially when we give it a chance. Most parents would go for money too because they would feel they are securing the future of their child.
This reminds me of one story of pyramus and thisbe. Both love each other yet both families forbade them. They decided to run off, but things didn't well. Ending was traggic
That's so sad. It works for some and for others it might not.
I love the story. Tofunmi was right, each one of us has different fate's and so we cannot compare someone's fate to another, as things goes differently, situations would never be the same. We all have different destination in life and so our fate as well, and that is why we had our freedom to choose and do the things on our own way. That is why sometimes we can't blame those family members who made their own path as they also have different belief and preferences in life. However I also can't blame those parents who tried to disagree with their children's decision and choices, as they only care and love their children's.
Yes, then parents acted from the place of care and if they know better, I am sure they would have done better. It's all about having open mind...
Such kind of beliefs still exist in our place stopping the love birds to reunite. It is really sad.
It's so sad. I know a lot of people still practice this in a modern world.
That's why love is so beautiful. The mother gave this advice for the good of her child. No mother would wish her child harm. A mother is most happy when her child is well.
Yes... eventually, they have no choice than to accept them seeing that they are both safe.
Are you telling us that we can disobey our parents and go on with our own decisions but I know love is a beautiful thing that can let you do something without not knowing at that period
It's life...everyone have to live the way they feel is best for them. A lot of people took the same step and it didn't quite work well for them while some took the bold step and it worked. Understanding yourself and the reasons why you want to do what you want to do gives it a nice cushion sometimes... It's not a one size fits all... Love is indeed capable of pushing us... No doubt.