It's Not A Crime.
A lot of people feel down because they are unable to keep a guy or lady or even have a man or lady they can call their own. They feel having a man or a lady will define who they are or how others will see them. Yes, we all want to feel accepted and loved, but that shouldn't define who we are. You are not to have a partner to complete you. You first need to be complete on your own. How do you demand from others what you can't even give yourself? This is why I have issues with those who say "I want someone to complete me". You are not broken, you don't need fixing, you only need someone to further complement or push you more because there would always be times when motivation would be low and that's where your partner comes in handy.
Some people accept the love they don’t deserve. They accept just any kind of person because they want to feel "complete". You are not broken, so how do you need fixing? You don’t need another person to complete you, you only need another person to complement who you are.
If someone doesn’t measure up to your standard, there is no need to date such a person. How much you love yourself would determine the kind of love you will accept. How we love ourselves cannot be hidden and this serves as a message for those who want us because they will see how we want to be loved by how much we love ourselves. Often, most people lower their standards because they feel the person dating them is doing them a favour. No one is doing you a favour by dating you. Value attracts and you are not broken.
Stay single for as long as you can. It is not a disease. It's the best time of life when you discover yourself, love yourself enough to know how to love others when the partner comes, the time for you to explore, discover and start your life's purpose early because let's be truthful, having a family sometimes limit you in a way because you always have to have them at the back of your mind. Use your singleness to steady your shit so you won't see having a family as a hindrance when the time comes.
When you have not found that person, by all means, stay single with joy, excitement and purpose. Nothing is wrong with you. You accept the love you feel you deserve, so who you accept is a reflection of what you think about yourself.
To appreciate your singleness and also for you not to feel there is something wrong with you, there are principles to understand about a relationship. When the purpose of a thing is not known, they say that abuse is inevitable. With a better understanding of yourself and what is expected in a relationship, you can be better informed which is why there are a few principles I will be sharing with us. I've spoken to so many people about this and I will be sharing it here. This is not all there is to know about a relationship, but this would help you to understand things better.
A relationship is complex, no one knows it all. We are all learning in life while taking steps. Sometimes we fall, sometimes we stumble but the major thing is that we can learn from those "ahead", who stumbled and fell so we won't have to repeat the same thing. Life is too short so we don't have all the time in the world to make all the mistakes we can.
I always say we learn as we go and grow through life and this is why we can pick up lessons here and there, then add them to the things we already know, so we can be better for it. A relationship will always have an impact on how you turn out. If you find yourself in a good relationship, definitely you will be happy and there is no limit to what you can achieve but if you find yourself in the wrong one, you find it more challenging and it affects most aspects of your life. Someone said if you find yourself in a wrong relationship, you will become a philosopher 🤣😂. No insult intended.
I will be sharing some pointers tomorrow for us to be able to understand who we are and appreciate who we are and while waiting, we can focus on these things. You don't prepare for war when there is war but you prepare for war when there is peace. The best time to learn is before you take the next step and the other lessons you will learn can be "on-the-job" kind of learning which is fine. Stop wrapping your head around wanting a guy or a lady but focus on what you can do for yourself now that would make you feel good about yourself. Any successful person would always be desired by others so rather than forcing people to be with you, increase your value and you can decide what you want for yourself.
...to be continued...
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈
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I remembered you once said, you won't understand life unless you got a husband or wife 🤣🤣.. I prefer to stay single haha