It's Not A Crime.

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2 years ago

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A lot of people feel down because they are unable to keep a guy or lady or even have a man or lady they can call their own. They feel having a man or a lady will define who they are or how others will see them. Yes, we all want to feel accepted and loved, but that shouldn't define who we are. You are not to have a partner to complete you. You first need to be complete on your own. How do you demand from others what you can't even give yourself? This is why I have issues with those who say "I want someone to complete me". You are not broken, you don't need fixing, you only need someone to further complement or push you more because there would always be times when motivation would be low and that's where your partner comes in handy.

Some people accept the love they don’t deserve. They accept just any kind of person because they want to feel "complete". You are not broken, so how do you need fixing? You don’t need another person to complete you, you only need another person to complement who you are.

If someone doesn’t measure up to your standard, there is no need to date such a person. How much you love yourself would determine the kind of love you will accept. How we love ourselves cannot be hidden and this serves as a message for those who want us because they will see how we want to be loved by how much we love ourselves. Often, most people lower their standards because they feel the person dating them is doing them a favour. No one is doing you a favour by dating you. Value attracts and you are not broken.

Stay single for as long as you can. It is not a disease. It's the best time of life when you discover yourself, love yourself enough to know how to love others when the partner comes, the time for you to explore, discover and start your life's purpose early because let's be truthful, having a family sometimes limit you in a way because you always have to have them at the back of your mind. Use your singleness to steady your shit so you won't see having a family as a hindrance when the time comes.

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When you have not found that person, by all means, stay single with joy, excitement and purpose. Nothing is wrong with you. You accept the love you feel you deserve, so who you accept is a reflection of what you think about yourself.

To appreciate your singleness and also for you not to feel there is something wrong with you, there are principles to understand about a relationship. When the purpose of a thing is not known, they say that abuse is inevitable. With a better understanding of yourself and what is expected in a relationship, you can be better informed which is why there are a few principles I will be sharing with us. I've spoken to so many people about this and I will be sharing it here. This is not all there is to know about a relationship, but this would help you to understand things better.

A relationship is complex, no one knows it all. We are all learning in life while taking steps. Sometimes we fall, sometimes we stumble but the major thing is that we can learn from those "ahead", who stumbled and fell so we won't have to repeat the same thing. Life is too short so we don't have all the time in the world to make all the mistakes we can.

I always say we learn as we go and grow through life and this is why we can pick up lessons here and there, then add them to the things we already know, so we can be better for it. A relationship will always have an impact on how you turn out. If you find yourself in a good relationship, definitely you will be happy and there is no limit to what you can achieve but if you find yourself in the wrong one, you find it more challenging and it affects most aspects of your life. Someone said if you find yourself in a wrong relationship, you will become a philosopher 🤣😂. No insult intended.

I will be sharing some pointers tomorrow for us to be able to understand who we are and appreciate who we are and while waiting, we can focus on these things. You don't prepare for war when there is war but you prepare for war when there is peace. The best time to learn is before you take the next step and the other lessons you will learn can be "on-the-job" kind of learning which is fine. Stop wrapping your head around wanting a guy or a lady but focus on what you can do for yourself now that would make you feel good about yourself. Any successful person would always be desired by others so rather than forcing people to be with you, increase your value and you can decide what you want for yourself.

...to be continued...

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

Kindly follow me on Noise.Cash... I am trying to engage more with people and connect with everyone with this account. I look forward to seeing you there... You can say hello to me there so we can get familiarized as well. Click here.

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2 years ago

Comments

I remembered you once said, you won't understand life unless you got a husband or wife 🤣🤣.. I prefer to stay single haha

$ 0.02
2 years ago

🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂 Janeyyyyy... You never forget hahahaha. Enjoy your singleness until you are ready my darling.

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2 years ago

Societal pressure could make this very hard for a woman. You know women na everything will dey use do competition amongst our selves. A young lady would just be intentionally flaunting her man at her friends or sister's face through phone calls . This making the other feel depressed. Before you know she would readily accept the next man that comes her way without much questions just to feel among

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2 years ago

Yes, and that's why loving yourself is important because that person won't feel the need to impress anyone. Being single is not a crime.

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2 years ago

Sometimes single life might actually be the best cause you won't be jelous of all form until you are ready, although many people tend to enter relationship they can control, being single is not a disease, it just require you been focused and not loose

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2 years ago

Being single is about being focused... A lot of people cannot handle two things at once and they need to wait until they are ready to handle another person added to them. Everyone wants to jump into relationship because they don't want to be left behind.

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2 years ago

Yes that true

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2 years ago

🤗🤗🤗👏👏

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2 years ago

Yes my friend olasquare. Committed to someone or having a relationship is not a race. If you haven't meet the person you want to love don't pressure yourself. Stay single and do the things make you happy. Spend your time to your family also since they are your love ones also. "Someone" will come in a right time based on what God's plan.

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2 years ago

I love this. You nailed it. Don't pressure yourself. Stay single and enjoy the things of life while you wait. Spend time with those who matter and trust the process.

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2 years ago

Thank you for appreciation my friend olasquare. Yes you're right we shouldn't pressure ourselves, just wait and focus the things what you have and be happy.

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2 years ago

Yes, focus on your value and what you have...wait it out. No need for unnecessary pressure. 🤗🤗🤗

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2 years ago

Yes my friend. Focus on what we had. Have a nice day my friend olasquare.

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2 years ago

Have a great weekend ahead, my friend. Thank you.

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2 years ago

Always thank you for you my friend olasquare and always you're welcome. ❤️

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2 years ago

🤗🤗🤗

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2 years ago

You are not broken, you don't need fixing, you only need someone to further complement.....

😂😂😂 I wonder why someone will want a partner for the sake of being complete. For God's sake, were you broken before? 😆😆

We all are created uniquely and beautifully, and we deserve the best. Instead of being in a haste to get into a relationship, it's better to stay single, enjoy your life and find the real you. When it's time, it will happen.

I dey expect those pointers tomorrow because I need them 😂😂

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2 years ago

🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂 most people have been told that they are not complete on their own and it has messed up with their confidence. Life is a journey of self discovery and we need to discover ourselves first. Knowing who we are would determine our choices.

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2 years ago

Indeed, being single is not a crime and so there's no any reason to pressure our self to be in a relationship. We won't be completed by just having a partner, but we can be as complete as we can be, by accepting and loving ourselves before we share that love to someone. Yes it feels good to feel being loved and cared by someone but there's no love and care can defeat the love and care that we have for our own self. Singles don't know, that some couples are not actually in love to each other, as sometimes some of them are just being together because they are afraid to be lonely.

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2 years ago

This is so true. God bless you for this, my friend. We need to accept ourselves first before we share with others. Some people are afraid of being alone and they accept just about anything. They are so concerned about what people would say. It's sad.

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2 years ago

I always appreciate reading your posts, Olasquare. You are correct, being single is no crime, and it is important to focus on our own individual development before trying to find someone else to heal us or make us complete, as you say. Sometimes we settle and hold on to unsatisfactory situations out of fear, but that is truly a very terribly sad way to live.

These words of your particularly stood out to me: "We are all learning in life while taking steps. Sometimes we fall, sometimes we stumble but the major thing is that we can learn from those "ahead", who stumbled and fell so we won't have to repeat the same thing." I couldn't agree more.

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2 years ago

Thank you so much. I always appreciate your wealth of experience. Most people hold on to unsatisfactory situations out of fear. We need to first accept ourselves and that's the only way we can learn how to know what to accept from others.

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2 years ago

Sometimes it's good to be single, but the important thing is to make sure you know when it's time to be committed. I feel people take commitment for granted these days, as they feel whenever a relationship needs maintenance they can just bail out. People should really start committing only when they are ready for it, both of them, in order to provide stability to their lives and emotions.

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2 years ago

You are so right. A lot of people don't take commitment seriously. They are jumping into a relationship without being ready and that's the problem we have these days. Most people are not even improving themselves yet they want to jump into a relationship.

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2 years ago

Indeed. It is better to be single than to be in a toxic relationship which leaves you lonelier than when you first began. It is not a crime to be single. Bad relationships teach us lessons so for the next one we know more what we want.

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2 years ago

It's never a crime to be single. Some people even choose to be single and that's very admirable. We need to know ourselves and love ourselves first.

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2 years ago

True as we can not give what we do not have. It is unfair to let someone fill the gap in our lives. Relationships should be there not because you need it but rather because you want it. It shouldn't aim to complete you but rather to share your wholeness.

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2 years ago

I absolutely love this. You absolutely hit everything on the head. God bless your wisdom even more.

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2 years ago

Writing has no age. We learn in many ways. There is no end to our learning .At the end of the day everyone wants to have a man of their own. Whoever sees it will find peace in his mind. Many find their loved ones and many fail.

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2 years ago

Yes, it all boils down on individual choices.

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2 years ago

I think that not all people are born to have that person who complements them. If you have not achieved it in your whole life go ahead because you are very valuable even without a partner.

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2 years ago

Thank you so much, mama. That is it. A lot of people need to know that they are valuable even without a partner. Our value shouldn't reduce because they lacked a partner.

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2 years ago

Yes, I agree with you.

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2 years ago

Thank you so much, mama 🤗🤗🤗.I always appreciate your wisdom.

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2 years ago

🙏😘

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2 years ago

🤗🤗🤗

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2 years ago

It better to remain single than begin in a relationship that doesn't deserve your love and attention. You can't force anyone to remain in a relationship with you .

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2 years ago

We can't force anyone at all. Most people do all sorts just to stay in a relationship they should be running away from. It's scary. Our relevance should be attached to who we are not the kind of partner we get.

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2 years ago

I agree with you my friends that staying single is better than having relationship with wrong person we should focus on personal growth and grooming. In my personal life I often fall for love that mostly results in heartbroke we know well that we ourselves can care us best then don't know why our emotions tends towards someone. Perhaps I wish we could have measure to know the real love

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2 years ago

Too bad we can't know the intention of someone when they come to us immediately but overtime we can know due to the warning signs they would give us. We have to fall in love with "us" first and that makes it a bit easier to know those we don't want in our space.

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2 years ago

Some people believe that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. This may be true in some cases, but there are also many people who accept the love they don’t deserve. They accept just any kind of person because they want to feel loved, even if that person is not good for them.

There are many reasons why someone might accept the love they don’t deserve. In some cases, it may be because they have low self-esteem and don’t believe that they deserve better. In other cases, it may be because they have been hurt in the past and are afraid of being alone. Whatever the reason, it’s important to realize that you should never settle for less than you deserve.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

This is so beautiful. Yes, there are so many reasons and the major goal should be to love ourselves first. Loving oneself makes it a bit easier to know that we deserve better. Being single isn't a disease even though the society and some cultures make it sound so.

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2 years ago

Hahahha thats actly true. You learn a lot when you end up in bad relationship.

But you know traumas can cause someone to settle for less. They tend to love the first person that show them kindness. You know why? Because they thirsts for love and affection that they rarely get from people

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yes, that's where the problem is. Most people need to accept themselves first, love themselves first so they won't just settle for anything or just anyone. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. We don't have to throw caution to the wind because of someone who left. It's not about us mostly why people leave, it's about them so we don't have to lose our sense of worth because of them.

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2 years ago

I agree with you on this and this idea of needing someone to complete us is a mentality a lot of people should do away with.

We were created as a complete being and trying to be whole shouldn't be the reason for a relationship. We can seek attention, love, care, and companionship but we should be able to give ourselves all these before looking for someone to be part of that lifetime journey we want to embark on.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

That's just it, my brother. We can't put that burden on someone to complete us when it's our duty to do. We can seek attention and love and it shouldn't be borne out of the fact that we lacked it.

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2 years ago

I always see people taking this relationship of a thing too serious to the extent that they accept different kinds of rubbish from someone just so they can feel loved. The thing is, when someone becomes desperate or shows signs of desperation in a relationship, it's easier for their partner to take advantage of that

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2 years ago

A lot of people have been taken advantage of because of that. And it's the human nature to see a crack and want to exploit it. You are absolutely right.

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2 years ago