Healing Process.

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Healing is a process but I have noticed most people want to rush it. Healing takes time and we heal differently. For some, depending on who they are, they heal quicker than others and it would be foolishness to compare another person's healing time with another.

We are wired differently and our experiences in life shape us differently too but I am shocked as to why most people don't understand this and maybe they do but they just want the battle of wits to show they are better than the other. Showing you are better than the other means you are altering the normal course of things because you want to prove a needless point. Take your time, you are not in a race against anyone but yourself.

Imagine the healing process it would take for a knife cut can never be the same it would take for a fractured femur. Imagine someone with a knife cut telling someone with a broken rib that he or she is taking too long to heal and that's because that person feels the person with a broken rib is trying to gather sympathy or thinks they are not acting strong enough. We heal differently depending on the severity of the situation.

Imagine being involved with a lady that had a terrible marriage and you being single, you don't want to see things from her perspective and you expect her to jump right into your arms because you love each other? We expect too much from people when we don't even try to understand what they are going through. A process must never be rushed if you are to get the desired outcome from it.

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Imagine a raw gold not going through the expected process of refining, how else do you think it would turn out? Or bread not doing through the head that is expected, you would find yourself in a more messy situation than you would have hoped for. We need to allow people to heal just as we are also trying to heal from whatever ails us.

I am blessed and I say that with every sense of pride and humility at the same time because I tend to see things differently. I have had people say they can never date someone who already has a baby or someone who is divorced or even someone older than them. While growing up, I've crossed all those lines and of course, I won't blame those who think they can never go through with it, in fact, I respect them because I always tell people that if you cannot withstand the heat, then don't stay in the kitchen without proper ventilation and Air-conditioning.

I've learned to think ahead and understand situations before getting myself into and if I am not ready to go all the way then I won't even bother getting involved with it and this approach helped me a lot to study people and know that we heal differently. Time and chance happen to us all and it's the same way a single lady shouldn't get jealous of a pregnant woman because with time and the conditions being perfect, she would also find herself in the same situation.

Love is amazing and it's still the best cure for a broken heart but you have to heal first. I've had people jump from one relationship to another without healing and analyzing why it went wrong. If you don't analyze things then you are bound to repeat the same issue and with more repetition of the same issue, this is how people develop a mindset that love isn't for them. Love is for everyone but you are just going about it the wrong way.

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Admit that you are hurt, admit that you made a mistake, admit that you will get better and you are not broken. Most people expect their partner to "fix" them but how do you fix what's not broken? You are not broken, you are just a little bruised, lie down a little while and heal before jumping on a wound.

I know the thrill of wanting to be in a relationship makes us want to think we have healed enough and are ready to go. I respected some ladies back in the day who turned me down because they felt they were not at that stage yet. I understood it wasn't about me and they just need to sort themselves together. I stayed for as long as I could but then, I knew the healing process takes longer for most than others.  It's okay to walk away if you can't wait that long. Sometimes we think we want something but the truth is, we don't and that waiting period gives us clarity to move on.

Don't do a rebound on another person without healing first. I had quite a couple back in the day too. I felt I was strong enough to move ahead but I kept projecting my last failed one on another person who wasn't at fault for whatever I went through. As humans, we always want this desire to be loved by others when in the real sense, we are supposed to love ourselves first.

It's okay to have your heart broken but you have to heal first. It's okay to have your proposal turned down but lick your wounds in secret and then heal first because if you don't, you would start suspecting every lady that comes your way. You would think they are capable of leaving too even if they genuinely love you and it would stop you from giving your best. Don't be scared of being hurt or broken - it's part of life, so is the healing process, don't skip it.

Thank you for your time.

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