Direct and Indirect Languages.

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3 years ago

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African Parent Language:

If you have ever come across a Nigerian parent or let me say an African parent then you will understand the importance of expressions. Expression in this instance is more like a coded language where our parents say something without actually speaking. And as a sharp child, you must understand the message or else you will receive the beating of your life.

The ability to read the facial expressions of our parents is one of the keys to wisdom because if you missed it, that wisdom would be forced upon you whether you like it or not. Language should be expressive - either spoken or displayed. I believe those who can't speak either can communicate and to me, that's language as long as they gesticulate with their hands and those who understand sign languages can easily pick it up. Our special language in Africa by our parents is the 'side eye' language. Always watch out for it else, as an Africa child, you will get the 'reset' of your life. It's a powerful language that you learn either by default or by experience - yours or while watching others, notably your siblings when they fall victim.

As Africans, with the beatings we have been subjected to and occurrences that happened that made us learn these languages by force, faster than what they taught us in school while growing up, we easily pick it up and 'adjust'. Just know you are close to beating when you either say something or collected something from a visitor without using your discretion to either reject it or ask for approval and your mother (especially) or fathers in some cases, gave you the 'side eye' and you didn't 'decode' the 'language'. Just pray for that visitor to sleepover in your house so you can have a delayed beating but even if the visitor used a week, trust me, African parents hardly forget anything but they would gladly forget about the money you kept with them when a visitor gave you money. They will remind you of all the food you've been eating as though they sought your permission before dragging you into the world 🤣🤣🤣😂.

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Unspoken Language:

Another form of language without actually saying it that I have noticed is amongst guys and ladies. A lot is being said without anything being said. The moment a guy locked lips with a lady, just know that you are automatically dating. Friends with benefits are not that common here except those who have 'besties' but they are definitely in a relationship with another person who is known to all parties.

The moment you are both single, without any side relationship with others, if you managed to kiss, just know that the language of love has been spoken. Most people don't know that because two lips met it doesn't mean two hearts joined and this has led many to accept just any kind of love as the other person would make you feel they are doing you a favour by dating you.

Language is powerful but I believe it should be spoken where a relationship is concerned. There is no time for assumption where a relationship is concerned because a lot is involved. Communicate with your partner or potential partner what you want from them. Be honest and define your relationship so you won't have too many expectations. Love is a language everyone understands and when you communicate in a clear language as to what your relationship is all about, everyone understands and decide what is to be done.

We have so many love languages and you need to understand what your partner's love language is. Imagine a Spanish wife and an English husband. If they both say I love you and they are both not familiar with the words, how will both understand? You need to communicate in a language that your partner understands. Some know you love them by your act of service and others know when you lavish them with gifts and if you say the words a thousand times a day without making effort to gift them anything, they would never believe you.

Some respond to touches. Don't say anything, don't gift them anything, yet, just hold them still, cuddle up with them or run your fingers through their body, they get the message. Love is something that requires a greater amount of effort and sensitivity. Your partner cannot tell you everything you need to know (even though they should tell you the basics) but you need to be sensitive to know how they are and that's what makes them understand that you are making a conscious effort to be with them by speaking in the language they understand.

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Even in friendship, I have learnt never to force things. I have seen many people give me an attitude without actually saying a word. I am a sensitive person and very open too. I have this old-time friend giving me an attitude that I believe is related to a lady. He has communicated his message in a way by staying off and that's my life, I don't force things, I just keep you where you want to be but the moment you wish to come back, I get on with it and I know down the line we would always have time to revisit why you acted the way you did.

Assumption is a language many people speak too. Attitude is a language that others speak as well by giving it. As long as you are passing a message across; directly or indirectly and others can 'get it' then you are speaking in a language that others understand. Just my thoughts...

Here is my response to the Writing Prompt #13 named "Language". To have a full understanding of what the prompt is all about, kindly read her post here.

To join, the rules are simple:

  • Write anything about language

  • Write 100% original content

  • Write at least 600 words so Rusty will reward you

  • Submit to the PromptlyJonica community (please join us if you haven't already)

  • Tag me @JonicaBradley  and @TengoLoTodo

  • Have fun!

Thank you for your time.

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3 years ago

Comments

Hahaha, that kind of language from parents. It is real, I mean with just the look on their eyes, you gotta know what they mean or else, lol!

And yes, it is a good feeling when even without any word spoken, someone understands you :)

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3 years ago

Hahahahaha absolutely. Parents are just amazing 🤣🤣😂

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3 years ago

My father's eye gestures really tell a lot..even gives goosebumps.. How much more if he talks.. Haha.

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3 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 I can imagine

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3 years ago

Well, my experience is obviously not that of African parents. And my parents didn't use to punish us with beating. But my mother used to have a look that I can swear used to speak.

In the language of love, for me, the important thing is that both parties understand the same language and what it means. Because although the gestures can be the same for loved people, they don't always mean the same for the parties involved.

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3 years ago

Hahahaha exactly...they don't always mean the same - each for every occasion.

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3 years ago

I have tried that too where the parents get the money given by our aunts and uncles and they will start to give you the full details of how they brought you to the world and how they took care of you until you grow up hahaha.

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3 years ago

Hahaha that's our parents for you 🤣🤣

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3 years ago

Hahahhaha yessss

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3 years ago

😊😊😊

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3 years ago

😊😊😊

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3 years ago

😅😅😅 Your article is so funny especially the African mother part. I have experienced this and as a child, you must understand them or else, whatever they can lay their hands on, they throw at you.

There is one word with different meaning, it is up to you to interpret it in a wise way. For example, a visitor want to offer you money or food and your mom is there, just focus your eyes on hers because "gba" is different from "gbaaaaa" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 with that side eyes of "you will meet me there" 😅 Language has different meaning and it is left to you to decode the right meaning to it.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂 gbaaaaaaa... Means you are done for, just take it hahahaha. As a child, you must learn each for every occasion.

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3 years ago

Immediately you get that wink just know you are in serious soup...prepare to collect beating. And when there is understanding between both partners there wouldnt be an issue. You explained fully everything and left nothing out.

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3 years ago

Hahaha thank you so much, brother.

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3 years ago

So many times my parents will give me important information in front of visitors without making a single sound from ther mouth. The expression on their faces says it all. African parents are really good at that, and as a child you just gotta understand what they're saying or you'd be in a really big trouble.

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3 years ago

Hahahaha absolutely. We learn their language from experience o

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3 years ago

It really applies here too. I think it is really an attitude of people all around the world. Thank you for article. I realize a lot of things on this 🙂

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3 years ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you.

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3 years ago

Yes. All your articles has really a big impact in real life, my life especifically. Thank you again for this 🙂

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3 years ago

I feel so blessed. Thanks a lot. 🤗🤗🤗

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3 years ago

You are blessed and continue to receive more blessings

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3 years ago

Amen, thank you and you too. 🤗

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3 years ago