So because I'm busy and not that active anymore, I just planned to write per other day or per other many days as long as I can still renew the sponsorship that the everyone have right now, to be honest I feel like I don't have enough rest or sleep for the past few days since I'm a graveyard shift person.

But starting nextweek, my shift will be on 11am up to 8pm and I am kinda happy and sad since I'm not used to that schedule. That was so early.

I will tell you a story, I won't mind. but it's only for those who'll listen. But wait, I also don't need to. Everything can be seen by taking a glimpse in someone's eyes.

-OfficialGamboaLikeUs©️2022

Being okay is not that easy to show, especially when you're trying to looks fine at everyone's eyes but you were avoiding being with everyone. They said, meeting new people and exploring outside is the correct decision that someone can be made of, but it's not.

Do you guys experience when you're on the outside but your memories were bugging you? It can be a worst memories, a sad one, or a traumatic experience where that was the reason why you choose not to be close to the people who surrounds you.

We feels like everybody will betray us, it's become hard for us to understand even our own emotion, even our own self. I remember when my coach or tl said, "Work with it until you surpass everything." She has a point, how can we do better than today when we didn't try our best to learn everything that we need to learn?

I'm emotionally and mentally tired, as of now.

If I have some choices, then I'll just choose to rest and rest until I feels like I'm okay and I'm ready again. Everyday when I'm done with my duty, everything were bugging me. Like, how to help myself, how to balance everything, how to enjoy life, and how to enjoy the life that was given by me. But life is not something where we can choose whatever we want.

The thing is,

We can be what we are, we can be what we want to be, it's because we have freedom.

I really appreciate those people who loves sharing their own stories and who's not picky when it comes to the people who they've met, I'm not the kind of person who will voice out like, "Hey wait for me.", "Let's go together." Haha no. I prefer to walk alone, to go alone, to have myself alone, but I rather be with someone who still willing to wait for me even if I didn't say a words, a someone who will definitely come closer to me and will start chitchatting. I'm not saying any words but, I really appreciate those people who acts like that.

I rather be with someone who can look directly to my eyes when I'm telling a story, who can say a joke even if I'm not responding. I rather be with someone who will do deep talk first and whenever that it's my turn to butter out, that person will listen and will give advices.

It's funny right? It's funny to think that, behind of my positivity side... there's a tiredness sadness where I'm always trying to hide.

Final Thoughts.

I'm done renewing some of the sponsorships that I have on my list, thank you so much everyone for everything! Have a blessed monday.